...and involuntarily covered his crotch in horror. "No, dammit! I WON'T let you mess with the jewels! I'll--I'll use my, er, mastery of disguise to pull it off! I, um, have just the perfect mask!"
So Mondo X Boy picked out the perfect party dress for him, and Boy of 1000 Faces disappeared in the dressing room for three hours.
After the first two hours of waiting, Nobody startled everybody by speaking. Seems, the group forgot he was there. After the shock wore off, he repeated, "My stars! Our Light Brigade's new member must be quite the professional and perfectionist to be taking all this time. And to think I had my doubts about him!" the others just nodded and looked bored.
Finally, a half hour later, Boy of 1000 Faces was done. the group perked up with anticipation to finally see the long hours bear some fruit. But as soon as he came in full view, their jaws dropped...and not in a good way.
Globe Girl, not known for her bluntness [ba-DUMP-bump!], was the only one brave enough to say it: "you look like...Captain Lightbulb in a dress, dumbass! 'Boy of 1000 Faces'?!?! HA!"
Bo1KF drooped his head down in shame, but finally added, "I'm still not letting you get rid of my BOYS!"
"Enough!" Mondo screamed in frustration. "It'll have to do. Let's get to the LMB cruiser and head to the one's lair. We're the good guys...guess we'll prevail somehow..."
And off they went.
Meanwhile Porta-John, Dopple-Space Tart, Mondo Joe X Boy, Duplicate Man, Lash Lad, Faraway Lad, Hummer Lass, Princess No-Protection and Lardlad arrived on the outskirts of the lair of Pornis and his hoardes. It was rather easy to find the lair because Hummer Lass and Princess No-Protection seemed to have an affinity for Pornis's unique energies for some reason.
Pornis's base was just about the tallest tower imaginable. And as they gazed at its magnificent splendor, Lardlad outlined his plan to infiltrate it to the others..........
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Eryk Davis Ester Member September 04, 2002 02:16 AM
Lardlad outlined his plan to infiltrate it to the others: "Okay, so there doesn't appear to be any visible doorway. If I remember my recent review of the LMB's file on villain hideout plans correctly, there should be an opening in the very top of the tower, and we can drop down through the long tubelike structure into the main complex. Now, I can teleport us to the top, but the question is, how do we get down into the building once we're up there?"
"Well, I could pull a rope out of your ass and we could climb down!" Dopple-Space Tart says.
"Okay, for lack of a better plan, that's what we'll have to do." So once up at the top, Lardy bends over, and Spacey does her stuff.
"Something's wrong," she says. the rope's not coming out very easily."
"I know... I can feel it," Lardy says.
"There's apparently lots of knots in it or something. Maybe we should just abandon this plan, and find another way down," Dopple-Spacey suggests.
"And leave this rope hanging out of my butt!" Lardy exclaims. "No way! Just spank me until you get all the knotty out!"
Upon his speaking those words, which were close enough to the magic words set by Retcon Girl, suddenly everyone's sexual orientation was switched again!
Back at the mall, Boy of 1000 Faces noticed the strange change coming over his comrades. Nobody, who had continuously been whispering suggestive comment in his ear, suddenly stopped. And, he noticed, both Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II and Dopple-Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II were staring at Globe Girl's, um, globes.
"Wait a minute..." he says to the two KQGSR2's. "So you two are suddenly lesbians?"
"Why yes. I feel an incredible attraction to women all of a sudden!" Dopple-Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II says.
"So do I!" says her counterpart.
Sensing an interesting possibility here, Boy of 1000 Faces begins reconsidering his reluctance to use the Profem.
"Hey, the effects would only be temporary, right?" he asks.
"Yep," Mondo Joe X Boy says.
"Well, maybe I could try it..."
Meanwhile, the team assigned to capture Lucifer Lass realized that they needed a way to find her. After puzzling about this for awhile, they decided the best thing to do was to...
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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...lure her to THEM by finding the biggest bed possible and hoping that all of them getting on it would somehow attract her because of the affinity she has for beds as a result of her power being that of bed-projecting!
Yeah, it was a stretch, but it's all they could come up with!
Anyhow, they decided, after conversing amongst themselves, that Lardlad's bed was the biggest they knew about because it had to a) support his weight and b) support the weight of many, many others during one of the frequent, popular orgies he hosted.
So Dopple-Lardlad 'ported them to Real-Lardy's bedroom. For a while, they just kind of lay there waiting for Lucifer Lass to show up. But after about 45 seconds, they decided to take a sexual orientation roll call. And here's what they came up with:
Space Tart: lesbian with some heterosexual leanings (formerly heterosexual w/lesbian leanings)
Robotwoman: lesbian (formerly heterosexual)
Antler Lass: lesbian (get the picture?)
Dormant Damsel: unknown (she can't tell us since she's still dormant!) the Flasher: prude (formerly pervert)
Dopple-Lardlad: gay (formerly straight)
So basically, Space Tart, Robotwoman and Antler Lass engaged in some HOT THREE-WAY LESBIAN SEX while Dorman Damsel just lay off to the side, the Flasher hid his eyes and prayed and Dopple-Lardlad longed for a man to hold him.
Strangely enough, this scenario actually worked, and Lucifer Lass materialised.
Meanwhile, as Boy of 1000 Faces considered using the Pro-Fem after all, Nobody realized something was wrong. "Hey! Why the hell are we back at the mall? Last I recall, we were on our way to our spaceship?"
"I can explain that!" the squad whirled at the sound of the voice and saw.......
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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Meanwhile: "You know if you travel due south from Detroit Michigan, the first foreign country you reach is Canada!" exclaimed Non-Sequitor to no one in particular
End meaningless interlude
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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"I can explain that!" the squad whirled at the sound of the voice and saw....... the TIME MOUSE-TRAPPER!
"That's CORRECT, mortal fools! *squeak* It is I, your omnipotent rodent nemesis! I have watched you from my Mousehole at the End of Time and have decided to make my appearance NOW just when you thought this plot couldn't get ANY thicker or more quicksand-like! BWA HA *squeak!* HAAAA!"
In response, someone.........
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Eryk Davis Ester Member September 04, 2002 08:45 PM
In response, someone pointed out that this doesn't really explain why they are all still at the mall.
"Ah, yes, I was getting to that *squeak*" says the Time Mouse-Trapper. "You see *squeak*, I have trapped you all in my massive Mall Maze. Even what appear to be exits simply lead you back to the center. *squeak*."
"Why are you doing this?" Dopple-Mondo Joe X Boy asks.
"I have my own purposes in testing the LMB's resources! *squeak*!"
"I'm not in the LMB," Boy of 1000 Faces states, frankly. "Can I just go?"
"NO!"
Meanwhile, back on Lardlad's bed, the three-way lesbian sex had completely failed to summon Lucifer Lass. So next they tried
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Eryk Davis Ester Member September 04, 2002 08:49 PM
<<>>
Okay, apparently I can't read, and am continuously creating paradoxes. Let me explain how they completely failed, despite the fact that Lucifer Lass just materialized a couple of posts ago.
<<>>
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Eryk Davis Ester Member September 04, 2002 08:51 PM
Meanwhile, back on Lardlad's bed, the assembled team suddenly realized that the Lucifer Lass that had materalized was made of barf! After quickly dispatching the psuedo-Lucifer Lass, they realized that the three-way lesbian sex had completely failed to summon the real Lucifer Lass. So next they tried...
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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...getting really kinky! Since the mutual enjoyment and going with their (new, reversed) nature didn't work, they decided they had to go against totally their leanings entirely.
Though it was a joyless task, the team was determined to tempt Lucifer Lass into showing up. So lesbian Robotwoman and prude the Flasher got down and dirty, lesbian Antler Lass and gay Dopple-Lardlad danced the horizontal mambo while sorta-bi-but-mostly-lesbian Space Tart abstained from sex entirely but manipulated Dormant Damsel on puppet strings to make it look like she was actively engaging in, uh, self-love.
And, sure enough, this caused the REAL Lucifer Lass to materialize. As soon as they noticed the new arrival, Dopple-Lardlad shouted, "now, Spacey---do it!". In response Space Tart sprung the trap.........
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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...by yanking an ENORMOUS cage out of Lardlad's ass! "EEEEEEooooWWWW!" he screamed in agony, as he fell to the ground unconscious, atop the drooling, string-covered body of Dormant Damsel.
But his sacrifice was NOT in vain-- Lucifer Lass the real one, not one made of barf) was TRAPPED like a RAT! *squeak!*
"HA!!" shrieked Space Tart. "Gotcha!! Score one for the GOOD guys!!" And then.......
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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.. the Flasher, under protest, exposed himself to Lucifer Lass to keep her from pulling any fast ones. Horrified, she gleefully passed out.
"Awright!" Spacey exclaimed, pumping her fists. All we gotta do is keep her under wraps, and Boy of 1000 Faces's team won't have to worry about her interfering.
"I wonder how they're doing?" Antler Lass wondered.
And while that would seem a perfect segue to check out that team, we will instead look in on the team at Pornis's fortress. :-Ž
So Lardlad's team were all scaling down the opening atop Pornis's tall fortress via the knotty rope pulled from his ass by Dopple-Space Tart, when Lardlad noticed a viscous white substance shooting up towards them through the narrow passage at high velocity. His heart raced as he realized there was no way to climb back up fast enough. He screamed........
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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....decided that power wouldn't really beneficial in this situation---might even make things worse!
Panicking, Lardlad decided to do a blind 'port. It was a risky thing to try, but under the circumstances, he had no choice. So he took a deep breath and prepared to 'port them all. But before he could, they were all safely enveloped in a familiar green energy.
"We've been saved!" Lash Lad exclaimed. But as he saw his saviour, even though the sight ofher made him think lustful thoughts, he realised they were out ofthe frying pan and into the frier. "By the Emerald Empress?!?!"
"Yes!" the Empress said. "I have saved you!"
"But why?" Duplicate Man asked.
She smiled and said, "I have rescued you because.....
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Eryk Davis Ester Member September 06, 2002 11:20 PM
She smiled and said, "I have rescued you because of MOndo Joe X Boy's ability to tap into the pleasure center of the brain! I desire the super -pleasure he can cause!"
"You really want it?" Mondo Joe X Boy asks.
"Yes!"
"Are you sure you really want it?"
"Yes! Now get on with it!"
And so Mondo Joe X Boy did his stuff, and the Emerald Empress felt an overwhelming orgasmic feeling come over her. Pretty soon it was so incredibly intense that her vision began blurring, and she slipped into unconsciousness.
"Okay," Lardlad says. "Now, where the hell are we?"
"My powers tell me that we are faraway from where we started," Faraway Lad says.
"It looks like we're in the Empress's chambers in the lair of the one called the one!" Space Tart exclaims.
"How do you know that!" Lardlad asks.
"Don't you remember how I was brainwashed into working for the one and her minion Lucifer Lass!"
"Oh yeah, we had some fun times here at the One's lair!" Princess No-Protection asserted forcefully.
"Okay, well as long as we're here, I suppose we should see if we can free Captain Lightbulb! Though I wouldn't be surprised if Boy of 1000 Faces and his team have already succeeded!" Lardlad says.
Hmm... shall we take the convenient segue into the Mall? Yeah, let's do it.
Unbeknownst to them, Boy of 1000 Faces was still far away at the mall, where he and the others...
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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