A large, extravagant lobby is seen immediately upon entrance, causing many visitors to wonder how in the world did the Office of Security afford such luxury? Various artwork, relics and artifacts are on display throughout the lobby, all of them from previous cases worked on by the Office of Security since Legion World’s official opening in 3003. None of them are dangerous, of course. Various administrative assistants await visitors to help them; only the those with clearance may enter the Security Officer’s floors—any other who do so have the most dire of problems.

A large plaque hangs above the entrance reading: <span style="font-size: 20px;"> The Office of Security, Legion World.</span>

What are the Duties of the Office of Security?: Guard Legion World from: external invasions from large forces or singular beings, internal threats from persons in the act of criminal behavior.

Note: This was once the third Office of Security Thread

• The original Security Office thread ran here from page 1 - 111.
• The second Office of Security thread ran here before returning to the original thread from pages 111 - 114, until it moved to the third location.
• The third Office of Security began with the traditional title of 'Cobalt's Office of Security, before becoming simply 'The Office of Security' here . The third Security Office then became the "Memorial for Fallen Security Officers" here in tribute to the many Security Officers who lost their lives defending Legion World from its various enemies.

Citizens of Legion World –

Long has Legion World been in a state of disarray and confusion. This new structure helps symbolize an end to that trend, and the beginning of a new era. I have returned to the Security Office as co-Chief of Security following the defeat of Phineas B. Fuddle, and the legendary Space Ranger, back from the dead, has returned as well as my co-Chief. We will restore the glory and effectiveness of the Security Office, and return it to its original grandeur to help combat threats both external and internal on Legion World. The streets will be safe, and the skies will be clear.

A new era is upon us with Lard Lad and cleome as the new LMBP Administration. In the past, the Security Office has both worked with the LMBP Leadership, and also provided a buffer between the leadership and the daily citizens of Legion World. These two functions shall be restored. You have our promise: we will do everything we can to keep Legion World safe, and would give up our lives to do so if need be.

- Cobalt Kid
(Co-Chief of Security)

Security Officers, you may have questions. I can confirm none of you have lost your posts. The structure of the Security Office remains relatively the same. Rather than name each security officer, I only present the upper-management and highest ranking officers.

Co-Chief of Security
Cobalt Kid, position held for life
Cobalt Kid is a founder of the Office of Security

Co - Chief of Security
Space Ranger
Space Ranger is a founder of the Office of Security

Chief of Detectives
Matlock

Deputy Chief of Security
Everyday girl

Senior Security Officers
Invisible Brainiac
Arachne
Shark Lad

New applicants for a Security Officer position are always welcome. We do still need to replace Frio, and per the long tradition of the Office of Security, Lard Lad has now been removed of his position because he is the LMBP Leader.

I’ll also need to discuss with Jailbait Lass what her status is these days…

***memo from the Office of the LMB Leader to Cobalt Kid***

I need to debrief you on some intel I've just found after your meeting with Ranger. You might want a stiff drink first. I've left my schedule open today--please meet with me ASAP!

-Lardy

***end memo***

***memo back to Lard Lad***

Not a problem Lardy, just let me know where you want to meet. Do you have an office set up? Or are you bringing it strait to the people? We can meet here if you like.

Lolita is with me in the streets, so I'm not sure who is handling my administrative stuff right now. I'll have to figure that out...

***end memo***

A new directive from the office of Triple G:

Agents of the Primary Color Gang and derivatives such as the Secondary Color Squad, the Orange Agents and the Green Extreme Team are now (when called to duty by ranking Security Officers) to act as deputized officers to keep the peace on Legion World.
This means each associate of the Super-Villain Costumes and Accessories Emporium will be required to adhere to a higher standard as will as the active members of the field teams.

The Emporium has offered it's services to the Security Office as a Research and Development department and will be supplying necessary tools, equipment and services as needed by Cobalt Kid's security teams.

All team members are still in my employ and there are no planned changes to benefits or retirement packages at this time. The exception to this is that time spent in the service of the Security Office will be compensated for and it's possible that extra benefits will acrue. Compensation packages are an internal matter for the S-VCaAE and will be negotiated with representation from all sides.

We here at the Emporium anticipate a fruitful and healthy relationship with the Security Officers.
Long Live the Legion!

***memo from the Office of the LMB Leader to Cobalt Kid***


I'm making The Lair my leadership HQ. I'll be there for a while the next couple days. Please come alone. I'm not asking you to keep anything from Ranger, but I'd prefer to talk about this one-on-one.

***end memo***

Bob, thanks for the continued support. We'll be definitely in need of the SVCAE's research into matters regarding time / space / parrallel universes / reality changes. I'm quite confident that attacks in this area will likely occur in Legion World's future, considering how often they have been used in the past.

***memo to Cobalt Kid and Space Ranger***

Please accept my congratulations and gratitude for the operations of all Security Office personnel during the recent crisis, and both of your leadership as well.

I am hopeful that therevitalized Security Office will remain an effective partner with the Bureau of External Affairs (tm) in promoting a just and peaceful Quadrant.

I must note that we seem to have a repeat occurance of Cobalt Kid being framed for various infractions. While of course his name repeatedly gets cleared, it does undermine stability. This repeated occurence even suggests that the enemies of Legion World find this to be our Achilles Heel - all one needs to do is tar Cobalt Kid and all our security protocols are thrown into chaos.

If my office can be of any assistance in remedying this situation, I would be delighted to discuss options.

Yours,

etc.

***end memo***

Well, removing myself from the Office was my way of getting around it and that didn't help. Is it time I hire another fulltime bodyguard? It was really Lardy that was framed though, I simply acted against the Security Office and high-ranking LMB leadership because I'd feared they'd been infiltrated--which they had been.

You were a good ally during the troubles, Kent, and I'm looking forward to continuing the good relationship our offices have.

Do I get a badge? I was promised a badge last time, but I never got one ...

We don't need no stinkin' badges.

I was just wondering how you'd look in a brand new spiffy orange battle armor augmented costume.

Is there room for my dorsal fin?

Well yeah.

I should get Bob to drop by and you guys can work up a design..how do you feel about blue?

Blue Shark Lad has a kind of ring to it, don't you think?

as long as I don't split into Blue SharkLad and Red SharkLad ...

Hey security people-

just wanted to make sure you guys are all aware of the floating castle that just popped into the skies above Legionopolis.

It's apparently owned/operated by a guy called Zardoz, who is running for election to be overlord of creation. Thus far, his giant carnivorous rabbit has attacked LardLad.

Huh... Wha... Oh it's you Kent. Damm I was beginning to think everyone had forgottten about us.

So this guy... Zarkoff... did you say? Siced a Giant Carnivorous Rabbit on Lardy?

Got any idea why?

He incited Lardy to attack him, yet Lardy could do no damage. So it was hardly in self-defense; Zardoz was in no danger from our fearless leader.

I should point out that I did advise Lardy to attack him, after all his grandiose claims. I felt we needed to test whether he was a legitimate threat, or merely an escapee from some lunatic asylum. It was really hard to tell - he genuinely seems to believe himself to be an immortal god-like being, yet rants like a dime-store loon.

Crap on a Stick! Lardy couldn't touch him? He's not a dime store loonie, that's for sure.

Now what did you say his name is? Zardoz? Zark-off? I need to be sure before I send out an APB for the Co-Chiefs.

his business card says, "Zardi, the Eternal Man."

hmmm... with a "NAME the ADJECTIVE Man" format, he sounds like he could be a leftover from the DC Explosion (Shade the Changing Man, Steel the Indestructible Man, Firestorm the Nuclear Man, etc).

He's probably just pissed because he never got his original 5-issue run in 1978, nor any Peter Milligan revival in recent years.

Maybe we can appease him with a team-up, as distasteful as that may be.

Hey, gang.

Anyhow, this Zardi fella definitely has some kinda mojo going for him. Can't tell if it's physical or magic-based. Given his get-up, I tend to think he's a magic wielder. My Lard Force has a certain kinship with magic, but I couldn't get a real feel for him to confirm or refute.

So far, he's mostly been a nuisance and a real jerk. He hasn't really done much other than to piss people off or just rub them the wrong way. He definitely claims that bigger things are to come, however.

Maybe we need to get a magic user to feel him out and see if that's his deal or not. We've been a little short of those lately, what with Stu, Maxx and Viv being absent. I'm not sure whether Pagan's on active duty right now since her return. Then, there's this MysticLuna lady--not sure what her deal is. Anyone I'm over looking?

Meanwhile, Zardi may be using my status as leader to sow some discontent, specifically the longer duration of my term as has been the trend lately. Should I go ahead and fire the elections back up, or should we wait and see what this cat's deal is? Downside could be that a new leader could be walking into a potential landmine here.

Thoughts?

hmmm... I do recall that strange, ethereal woman who aided us during the Phineas affair. What was her name?

MysticLuna is a good egg. But I'm not sure if she's up for a mission yet.

<wristband starts blinking>

Eh?

<looks at readout>

Proximity alert at the site of the original Lair?

<switches video feed on>

Her?

Kent...My...I'll be back soon.

<'ports out>

???
take your time. I'll be around.

Mr Shakespeare, does your Office of External Affairs maintain a liason with the Cacks?

Cuz we just received a message asking about terrorist activity on or around Mount Future.

Queen Hoo-Rah is concerned because the flow of electricity into the Cack Dimension was interrupted somehow and she missed her favorite soap operas this afternoon.

Mount Future? interesting.

(passes through unnoticed)

Mount Future!? That's not too far from the cloud castle... hmmm....

I'm personally on excellent terms with the entire Cack cabinet, and especially the Queen herself.

I'll look into it.

Britney's tight with the Cacks also... and if Lardy wants a Magic User, I'm positive that Pagan Lass would help out...

Zardi... Zardi... I know I've heard that name before...

<Activates the computer interface>

Computer: Name Search: Zardi the Eternal Man

<a few seconds later a small gong sounds and the computer begins printing page after page of data>

<My Quickly scans the first few sheets, and a worried look covers her face.>

Crap on a Stick! The Chiefs ain't gonna like this...

Computer: All Points Bulliten, All Officers, All Systems, To Security Chief's Cobalt Kid and Space Ranger: Your Presence is urgently required at Headquarters, Possible Omega Alert. Repeat Possible Omega Alert.

<'ports in, sees the commotion>

What gives, My?

(follows Lardy in, unseen)

<Hands Lardy the 50 Page report the Security Computer spit out on Zardi>

Acording to this, this guy Zardi is trouble, but he's also an Elder of the Universe.

He collects Magical Beings "for their own protection" and moves them to that floating castle of his and once they're there they apparently want to stay...

He's tangled with both STU and Pagan Lass in the past and both of them say that they only barely escaped being added to his collection.

But here's the bad thing...

He has Mearl Dox's permission to remain on LW as long as he continues to honor his contract with her.

Mearl Dox? I've heard of here, of course, but it seems her heyday in day-to-day affairs coincided mostly with my two-year absence. Is she also an Elder? And are either affiliated in some way with my par--with Pornis and the One called the One?

He collects Magical Beings "for their own protection"...

(slowly fades in)

Lard Lad, I am certain I have come across this one before. And I know it now... one who was dear to us both is now a captive within a crystaline containment.

(turns to a confused/surprised My Whee Fem)

My apologies, officer. I... am not used to the etiquette of greetings the authorities of the Living tend to employ.

She's okay, My.

{turns to Ghost Girl}

Who is it? Who is Zardi holding captive?

Lardy, Mearl Dox is the Supreme Ruler of the Universe...

Look ask Cobalt when he gets here... All I know is we're under orders to honor any and all requests feom Mearl Dox as long as they're verified by or with a cupcake.

And on the last page of that report you can see the holos of the cupcakes.

So Ghost Chick, no matter who he's holding we can't touch him without direct orders from either Cobie or Spacey...

I... see.

(quickly vanishes)

Lard Lad, we shall talk more in the future.

(appears in a flash of green light)

I was...

(looks to see a room of people)

I was going to see if my old office was given to someone...I left a statue of Aurora from...

Did I come at a bad time?

(looks at a 50 page report in Lard Lad's hands)

Oh.
This has to do with that Zardi character, doesn't it. Something else else is definitely not right about him, at least not to the Avalonians. I'm the Weird Sister of Fate, and yet...when I try to read him, I get fog. Very odd.
That doesn't happen often
I can help, maybe, but I am no longer an officer.

+empathic message to Cobalt Kid+

<span style="font-size: 16px;">{You shudder and feel apprehension (mixed with a little consternation that you've lightflighted into a cloud that turned out to be a castle owned by Zardi the Eternal Man, which is filled with lots of interesting things that caused you to continue to treaspass.)} </span>

The feelings's are coming from behind him.

Cobie whirls!
There's nothing there that he can see.

+empathic message to Cobalt Kid continues+

<span style="font-size: 16px;"> {You feel silly but still curious, and experience a flash of adrenalin. Then, confusion mixed with eagerness and you want to answer: yes or no to the urge to stay in the clouds.
You want to dance a little, too. }
</span>

+empathic sighing+

<span style="font-size: 16px;">{yawn}</span>

Actually... Um... how do I address you?

Anyway, Cobalt and the Ranger left a message for you... Security Officers are appointed for life... Your new offfice is on the second floor here's the key.

Ranger went on to say that you need to learn how to work the coffee pot... but I think that was some kind of joke that I didn't understand. Oh Well... <shrugs>

<looks around a little confused>

<to himself> That's odd...I could have sworn I sensed Shady's presence a moment ago! I've heard she's been around Legion World more lately. But that's the first I've felt of her linking empathically--not sure it was meant for me, actually. I hope she's not in trouble.....

Oh. Well, I guess it's my duty or job or something like that to do what I can.

And as for that Ranger, I don't know if its a joke. Honestly, after all this time I am still a bit baffled. I think it may be his idea of foreplay...

Did someone say "foreplay?"

Yes, but I meant it strictly in the naughty sense.

Anyways, now that I am, reinstated or what have you. I am going to go to my office and decorate it. As for this Zardi fellow, as I have stated, I trust him not, but if Kent is "looking into it," perhaps we should wait for his intel before we act.

How long has he been gone exactly?

About six hours. I'm starting to get worried.

That has been quite a while. If we could get a hold of another mystic or a telepath, maybe we could get somewhere. I can't see into that castle with my magic and I am unable to make contact with anyone inside via spells.

Perhaps it's time we sent someone in.

Volunteers?

(unseen, Ghost Girl reenters the Security Office and leaves a note in MysticLuna's line of sight - not My Whee Fem's, it reads:)

Kent and Candle are in grave danger. Act swiftly, or not at all.

<Outside the Security Office Zardi stops and gazes into a tiny crystal ball>

Oh Foolish Me...

I thought this office closed down some time ago. Or I would surely have visited earlier...

And such a lovely trio of ladies to greet me on my arrival.

A Human in Cack form, a Ghost, and upon my word, the youngest Wierd Sister I've ever met. And she is determined to rescue her companions from my castle!

This is my lucky day...

(Luna notices an etheral figure, barely visible to the most trained eyes. Luna probably would have remained ignorant of her presence had this being not left her something, a note, which she reads)

Fem, I have to go to my office, I need to collect something.

(Luna goes to her office and in thought)

Where are the others? Who was that, I've left Avalon and returned here, for what? I'm not with my sisters and there is allies in danger. I don't even know this Candle, but Kent...

Oh Oberon, why did you remove you edict on allowing us to interact with mortals? I think I am truly starting to care for them.

The castle does not bode well with me. But I am Luna. I was worshipped on Earth as a Moon Goddess in Rome, feared as a Fury, loved as a Grace and respected as a Fate thorought Greece. The Scots thought I was a witch and the English thought me a fairy. I have learned the magic as great as any, and by blood I am not mere mortal...so why is stomach in throat.

(exits her office)

Ok, well, I think I better head over there, if I am not back in an hour, you better alert the others.

(in whisp of wind, Luna is gone)

<My's omnicom goes off and an excited babble of extremely hi-pitched noise erupts. She stares at it for a second before shaking her head slowly and hitting the mute switch and opening a chanel to the female officer's bunkroom.>

Gladys? You Awake?

<A series of light bursts erupt from the monitor.>

Don't yell! Your name is at the top of the standby list, I need you here asap. something's come up that I have to handle.

Crap on a Stick! Now Gladys is POed at me and I'm gonna have to listen to Queen Hoo Rah's imitation Cack rant for the sixth time this month...

<Outside the Security Office Zardi watches as Gladys the Sentient Disco Ball relieves My Wee Fem on Monitor Duty>

A Sparckleoptican! There's a Sparckleoptican on Legion World!

<He reaches into his tux breast pocket and pulls out a small flask.>

Some tequila should be all I need...

<in the Situation Room>

So many memories seeping in my mind. Ghost Girl...her ethereal touch did something to me...ignited memories of a past life. Then...Shady touched me empathically--brought it even further.....

<makes the purple fire of Lard Force crest around his left, and only, hand>

I've heard "magic" defined before as energy that originates from outside the universe. Isn't that what the Lard Force is?

I was...I was a mage...centuries, no...milennia ago.

Is that what I will need to do here? Become the mage I was many lifetimes ago?

+empathic message for Lard Lad+

<span style="font-size: 16px;"> {Lardy, Lardy, 'funny potty mouth', feel the overwhelming need of the magic and the Lard Force (I call it the Holy Spirit) flowing through you! Feel the need of the beings trapped in the cloud castle, who want to be free! Be what you've ALWAYS really been. Be all that you CAN be! WE NEED YOU!} </span>

Greetings to the Security Office!

[I find it rather improper that there is no official designated to greet and welcome guests, but I shall keep that to myself]

I seek an audience with whomever leads this ministry!

Ohmygod! An Elf! I mean... Hello, how may I like help you?

(through the doorway of the tesseracts, Luna appears into the Security Office, on the second floor in her own office, the door remains open until her companions come forth from it, but only two appears and then it slams shut)

Where is the empath?

The mystic powers that allowed me to sense Kent should allow me to follow her, her empathic powers make her elusive, but I feel that she has not left the Castle.

I do not know her well, but as many empaths before her, her powers make her more...compassionate, perhaps she was compelled to stay.

Perhaps this missions was not a complete waste, Kent, did you find anything of any use?

**Meow**

Pagan was afraid that Candle wouldn't leave... She said she'd sense that deep down most fo Zardi's family aren't there willingly...

I gotta go tell her she was right.

**Meow**

<SC leaps at the wall, a tesseract door opens and he is gone.>

<Walks into the Monitor Room.>

Gladys? Gladys?

<Sees a small empty tequila bottle laying on the monitor board.>

Crap on a Stick...

Gladys is missing?!?!

<aside> Damn, I hope she didn't get pregnant after that party .....

(to Luna)

A lot... too much. I'm still trying to process it all.

That place... it's like it seized control of part of me. I've always wondered the full extent of my sensory abilities... you know, my abilities to see through illusions? I've been able to see through all types: technological, psionic and magickal. But I've never thought of my skill in this regard as magickal. But...

My gut feeling is that I was so mesmerized because my senses must be at least partially magickal. I'd never realized...

But that's neither here nor there for the moment.

I can tell you this:

Zardoz has been around for quite a while. I'm guessing he seeks out magickal-types and invites or seduces them to stay with him.

His agreements with Mearl Dox seem legit. I knew Mearl quite well; I'm pretty sure I could have seen through a forgery.

I suspect he showed her the willing members of his collection. It truly is a floating castle of marvels; if he hadn't tipped his hand so early we might all have assumed he was a potential friend and ally.

Seeking out...?

Exactly who does he think he is, the herder of magic beings? Are we all suppose to go grazing together while his whelp minotaur nips at our heals?

Invitation is one thing, but seduction is nothing more than manipulation and if that is his game, I do not find it at all comforting that he has brought it here.

The question becomes, does he want these beings, or need them? Does he draw power from them? I think it would be wise if we got some of our non-mystics on board. Those of us that may prove to be target worthy should sit back, form a plan on how we can be of use, without ending up as his captives.

I have already contacted my sisters through our unique rapport, Avalon has shut down all access to its lands, nothing may enter there.

I shall gather my things and prepare to go into hiding for the moment. I suggest that someone contact Pagan Lass and let her know that she is in danger and that she too had best keep out of the sight of our newest resident.

I shall of course be reachable by mind, as magic isn't necessarily telepathy, I can see you mind in a magic way different from normal psychics. I shall know if it is a team member contacting me, but still, we do not know his true power, so only contact me in great need.

(She departs to her office)

Incoming Message:

My, I've recieved your message and am en route. As you are aware I've been in the Khanate of Sol Invictus chasing the criminal Ol-Vir and have now captured him. There was an element of religious fanactisicm involved that caused the case to drag out further than I intended. Because of the vacancy of an assistant for me now that Lolita has quit doing that as well as the Security Office, it's become increasingly harder to sort through all the real pressing matters and the bullshit. We'll need to fill that position though I feel sorry for the girl who gets that job.

You are doing a fine job and I will join you once I drop off Ol-vir at Takron Galtos' infirmiry after giving him permanent led poisoning.

I'm glad Luna has returned to us. We'll need her.

Message out.

okay Shady, I got your message, I'm on my way...

My apologies. I was summoned away for another task.

I am here to see this Cobalt Kid in charge of this ministry.

Luna!

Luna, are you here!?

You must contact Pagan Lass at once! She must flee the castle at once! She is in great dange-

(looks at Legolas)

What are you doing here?

My counsel, my dear wisp that barely counts as a phantom, is one I keep with my liege.

Our business at this office is not something we deign to share with those better served minding the affairs of the departed.

Ohmygod! You look like an elf but you like talk like...

Miss Ghost, did you just say that Pagan Lass is in danger in the Castle?

I got a message for your boss Elf... He harms on hair on Gram's head...

<span style="font-size: 20px;">Click-Click</span> ...I go hunting, and I won't be alone!

Nobody, No One! Find Gramps and Uncle Spacey I need to talk to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(appears as a transparent astral projection)

Security Officers!!! I speak to you from my Refuge. Candle must be regulated. She is digging to deep in this castle. She may soon unleash horrors that the combined efforts of all of Legion World may not stop.

Her over zealous compassion may be her undoing, as well as Legion Worlds. I advise removing her from castle, and remembers, her powers and faith may make her his target as well.

(fades away)

Candle walks into the Office.
No one greets her because no one is there.

"May I leave a message for Cobie?" she asks the air?

Well, I guess I'll write one and leave it in his cubby.)

Dearest Cobie,
Greetings!
There is no need to 'sanction' me.
I have fulfilled my various missions and will leave the rest of the uproar to the kids to solve.
I'm sorry that they seem to have misjudged my wisdom, understanding, connections and powers.
sigh

I promise not to get involved in future adventures or scare anyone or tread on magical toes or be rude to crazed amoral despots.
(She uncrosses her fingers.)

Please, be careful and give your wife a kiss for me,
Shadowplay in Candlelight

(There, that takes care of that, I hope.)

As she walks out of the door, two stray kitties, and come meowing up to her and brush against her legs.

"Well, hi, darlin's! Are ya'll hungry?" she says.
"Meow, meow!"
"All right! I know a great place just down a block."

And the three head across the street to the local deli for a snack.

Candle runs back into the still empty office and leaves another note to Cobie.

PS ~ Ignore any rumors, if there are any, of my being captured or something, by Kardi and group.

has joined me and we'll catch up to to rejoin LSH before making our way across the 'verses'.

I DO have to make a brief stop on the way, just to deliver a present.

Bye,
Candle

<breaks through Legion World orbit at top speed, magnetically protecting self and using security chips linked to Cobalt's mind to confirm over the data registry>

Just when I think I get a moment to relax and have a cup of coffee...

<notices giant Castle in the Sky>

That's new.

<lands at full speed into Security Office, directly through a special tesseract port that leads directly to his office; files are piled everywhere, lights are blinking on all communication devices>

Alright. Time to figure out what the hell is going on, and just where all the Security Officers are. I may have to pump the smell of fresh blood into the vents to get Sharky riled up to keep things moving along for me. Still no word from Lolita...I guess I really did destroy that relationship, bastard that I am.

<takes deep breath>

Okay, here we go, time to see whats with all the commotion outside.

<walks into hallways leading to main lobby>

My Whee Fem, are you around? Anyone seen Space Ranger or Matlock?

<sees Matlock's assistant, Giselle Bonita>

Giselle, see if you can have the LMB Leadership's support staff have Shady--excuse me, Candle--sent a message and ask her to come see me. Also, let me know what the status is in getting me a new assistant. Also, I need a strong cup of coffee, and get ready to crack a bottle of something stronger if this day turns out to be the way I think it will.

<rubs shoulder; dried blood and a tear in his costume reveal Ol-Vir did not go quietly and roughed him up; Cobalt takes his shirt off right in the hallway and throws it into the star-trash receptle, incinerating it into atoms>

And somebody get me a decent shirt, will you?

<Sniff ... sniff, sniff>

Do I smell blood?

My dear Cobalt Kid,

by all means please to tend to yourself and settle in following your recent adventures.

I request an audience at you earliest convenience.

<putting on fresh shirt, handed to him by unnamed beautiful security office support staff member>

Greetings! Thank you for your understanding; you do have my apologies. I'm afraid most of the time these days I'm either coming back from a battle or heading towards one.

Come into the conference room and take a seat and I'll have refreshments sent for, and you can tell me what it is you need to see me for. I'm not caught up to speed yet on current events on Legion World but I'll catch on fast.

<motions towards a wall that begins to open up revealing a conference room; most of the Security Office look confused as apparently Cobalt never mentioned to them this room existed>

Sharky, feel free to join us.

[aside to Legolas] Don't let his ferocity mislead you. Shark Lad is one of the most decorated Security Officers and LMBers of us all, and of incredible intelligence. His bloodlust just allows me to get things accomplished more quickly, so I encourage it.[/aside]

Cobalt, Thank the Founders that you're finally here!

Jeebus, I hardly know where to start...

Britney is at Quank Tower, tending to Pagan Lass and Stoopid Cat. Zardi and someone or someTHING called Chilthu roughed the pair of them up pretty good before Candle pulled Pagan out of there.

Abin is on his way back from Polesnarffle where he was setting up a new Quank Enterprises field office.

Nobody has seen Space Ranger since that after the fact bachelor party you guys threw a while ago.

We think that Zardi snatched Gladys, but we don't know how or why.

There is an extensive report on Zardi on your desk, but I'll hit the high points for you:

1. He's an Elder of the Universe.
2. He thinks he's saving the magical aspects of the universe by luring magical beings into his cloud castle and coercing them into becoming part of his 'family.'
3. There are an uncounted number of magical beings still in the castle, some completely willingly others being held by a spell or some other glamour.
4. He has permission from mearl Dox to operate on LW provided he honors his agreement with her. We don't know what that agreement is or how to contact Mearl.
5. Lardy, Kent, and somebody called Ghost Girl all want appointments with you.
6. There's an annoying elf, called Legolas, insisting on seeing you. I'll be happy to slap him around and send him on his way if you want.


Oh and one last thing...

We have an unconfirmed report that Whoredru is in the castle with Zardi...

My, thanks. Bloody liberty, there is a lot more to all this than I suspected...

<glances through the files she handed him>

I've got Legolas in the conference room now, and am going to be joining him shortly. I recommend you stay by my side until we sort this out.

This Zardi character still seems very mysterious. I have a way to contact Mearl but it isn't easy and its time consuming. She is Supreme Ruler of the Universe, but she's also an old friend.

Ranger is missing? That isn't good. We need to find him immediately. And probably call in some of the LMB reserves. I'll be ready to meet with anyone who shows up in the order they do it.

Zardi must have snatched Gladys to tap into the various natural cosmic forces that make up her unique physiology.

Bah, magic. I never could stomach too much of it. A very wise old mentor once told me its effect on you is only in correlation to how much you believe in it. So I suggest we both start writing it off as rubbish.

<glances down>

And what's this about Faraway Lad being captured...?

Faraway was captured by the Cacks. Right now he is sleeping off one of the most heroic drunks I've ever seen at Cackle Castle.

So anyway I'll be happy to play girl friday for you.

As long as you don't use it as an excuse to keep me out of the field...

My dear Cobalt Kid,

I represent Zardi, a benevolent defender and custodian of reality as we know it. I must confess some people are uncomfortable with his title of Overlord, but it is merely a statement of fact. We do understand how disconcerting it might be to people who measure their lifetimes in mere centuries - or less.

As your feisty aide has somewhat accurately summarized, my master and his castle are here legally in Legion World airspace as per an agreement with Mearl Dox. Your ally Kent Shakespeare has confirmed the legitimacy of our documentation in this regard.

We have done everything in our power to abide by Legion World laws, customs and practices while here. Yet we have been repeatedly attacked, trespassed upon and even raided without provocation. Your own ambassador, one Faraway Lad, has tampered with ancient artifacts and interfered with Cack relations for both my master and for Legion World.

My master has invited visitors, yet only your Mr. Shakespeare has entered without subterfuge.

I am requesting, under the provisions of Mearl Dox's agreement with my master, that I be authorized to act as a Special Enforcement Officer to bring Legion World citizens in for questioning, so that they may be held responsible for their transgressions.

I will refer you to Article 4, Section VI, subsection 18, which describes the Special Enforcement Officer post - which is to operate in concert with your office, so long as you do not try to harbor fugitives.

I will also cite subsection 26, which deals with how proceedings are to take place; subsection 27, appeals; subsection 28, arbitration mechanisms should your office take issue with enforcement operations and the selection on non-aligned adjudicators; and subsection 33, which prohibits deliberately lethal practices so long as operational harmony between our jurisdictions exists. surely no one wants any of this to reach crisis proportions.

Of course you will need time to review these sections, and perhaps the entire agreement if you so wish.

I am prepared to extend a more than reasonable amount of time for your review, provided that you have your people cease covert incursions into my master's castle.

We remain more than willing to allow guests free access. We merely ask for them to use the front door, knock, and allow our staff to do their proper oversight duties.

Thank you for your time, good sir.

I shall leave you my card.

(hands Cobalt Kid a card)

All you must do is hold the card within your line of sight, at readable range, and
speak to it with deliberate intent to communicate with me; I shall hear the message.

Au revoir.

(exits)

I won't. My "girl fridays" have two requirements: to be incredibly sexy and to kick-ass in the field, as we're bound to get attacked at least twice per thread.

<turns to Legolas, and watches him leave>

Arrogant, but no more than usual for an Elf. Obviously this one is up to no good, but at least he’s not hiding it.

<On the table is the card that Legolas left; Cobalt Kid specifically did not pick it up or accept it, but let it fall onto the table>

My, have Security Officer Kenny Ketchum come in here and pick up that card, and then speak into it the following:

“Ambassador Legolas, thank you for your cordiality. Much as you can understand our own sense of disconcertion by the culture of your Overlord, I also understand your own confusion of Legion World’s practices and culture. You see, it is custom on Legion World for several of the inhabitants to invade and try to enter new structures via espionage. Its our most striking form of flattery.

While your Agreement with Mearl Dox has been reviewed by Kent Shakespeare, whom I hold in the highest esteem, I will be taking you up on your offer and ask to have Security Office review the entire agreement and all sections, sub-sections and exclusions, so we can understand the full extent of the terms. We’d also need to have our lawyer, Quislet, Esq., review them himself. You see, while Mearl Dox is Supreme Ruler of the Universe, there is a clause within the LMB charter that states because she was a member of the LMB, all of her rulings must therefore be certified by the LMB when they directly affect the well-being of Legion World. I trust you understand this is technically a rubber-stamp, and purely a bureaucratic process we will try to complete at the soonest opportunity to move these proceedings along.

I can confirm that no members of the Security Office are currently engaged with trespassing upon the property of your master, Zardi. However, there are other independent citizens of Legion World, as well as members of the Legion, who may have taken this up on their own. In some cases, this may have been the result of a misinterpretation of the offer given by your Overlord to enter. In the scenario of the latter, it will be up to Lard Lad, the current leader of the LMB, to engage those LMBers acting in an official capacity. As for normal citizens of Legion World, I will halt them from further trespass.

I personally intend to visit the Castle in the Sky shortly with an entourage of Security Officers and administrative staff, and will do so in the formal and natural way.

I also must make a statement regarding the most honorable and benevolent Ambassador, Faraway Lad. While his actions may have resulted in some tension between the Cacks, your own Overlord and Legion World itself, I can assure you, he has only ever had the most noble of intentions. Faraway Lad is honored throughout the multiverse as one of its finest denizens and his intentions were never to offend. Therefore, I must request he be released and excused for any transgressions by all parties involved. I also must officially pardon the noble Faraway Lad of any crime, as I deem that he did not commit any. Furthermore, I would ask that Faraway Lad, as a way to prove his good nature, be allowed to involve himself in these negotiations.

Most importantly, I must understand the nature of Zardi’s presence here on Legion World. While I could list several reasons why my understanding is paramount, I would think the natural methods of polite discourse would be for your Overlord to tell us himself so we can understand and make adjustments so life on Legion World is not interrupted too greatly. In the meantime, I must therefore deny your request to be made Special Enforcement Officer on Legion World. Until my understanding is complete as to why you and your Master are here, and specifically why any citizen of Legion World would be needed for questioning or prosecution, I cannot—and will not—be able to grant this request. I also must ask that you present to this office a summary of your biography, and who you are, dear Elvin Lord, so we can be assured our vetting process is complete in analyzing these requests”.

<now turning back to My Whee Fem>

There, have Kenny Ketchum pick up the card, transmit that entire correspondence and then have him go home to his apartment and wait there with the card until we have further need of him. Tell him he gets to work at home for the next few weeks. Under no circumstances is he or that card allowed back in the Security Office until I give further notice. In fact anyone who touches that card will be under the same orders. Officer Ketchum is removed from the field, and have another Security Officer stay with him to watch over his actions.

Dealing with an Elder of the Universe, working with the Supreme Ruler of the Universe is heavy stuff, and we must be careful. But lets always remember our motto in the LMB, that at the end of the day, we’re not above breaking all the rules we need to. Now lets try to find out exactly what Zardi wants and who he has imprisoned in his Castle…

So, what's the next move, boss?

We need to find out what Zardi is all about, whether his power dwarves ours or not.

We'll leave message for Ranger to join us. I understand what he's going through. My, you're with me. Remember, sexy and deadly.

<wide grin>

So let's go introduce ourselves formally...

(appears in the Security Offics, seemingly out of the very fabric of space it's self)

Cobalt!!!

The Refuge has been tainted! Zardi found access to it. I confronted him. He invited me to the castle. As a Security Officer, he has given me permission to enter.

Luna! Its good to see you again. Its been awhile.

<comfortable smile>

We've recieved an invitation ourselves. Though its obvious we're walking into the lion's den, I think we should go and see what answers we can get. Better to keep things there than on the streets of Legion World--their protection must always come before our safety.

Let's all go over together and see how this plays out.

<exits towards the castle, but briefly turns to the regular staff>

Have Space Ranger, Matlock or any others contact me via omnicom or join me at their own disgression. And dammit, I need a new assistant!

<steps hard -for a Cack- on Cobie's toes>

What am I? Chopped Liver?

<whispers to My>

Look above, you must not have heard me

I'm definitely going to need you with me. And if you're serious about keeping this girl friday gig permanent, you'd definitely make my life a lot easier. Of course, people would be trying to kill you--at least more than usual--and I'd be hitting on you--at least, more than usual.

You've hit on me before? Why didn't I notice that?

You become immune after a while...

(umm..said while astral projecting from castle)

[i]Following Cobalt and Luna\'s exit from the Castle in the Sky...[/i]

<enters from the Castle in the Sky with Luna>

All Security Officers, I want everyone put on high alert immediately. Please have all agents in the field that can get here in a reasonable time to do so.

Assemble all the available officers to be ready for further orders. In the meantime, prepare for communications to be set up with My Whee Fem.

Shark Lad, I have a specific mission for you of the utmost importance that cannot be given in earshot of any others. I cannot stress how important this is, and it involves protecting someone whose very identity is sought after by the Elders of the Universe.

Luna, lets talk further about your impressions of Zardi. Its obvious he's not to be trusted, but thus far, his claims of being here for our benefit don't really do much to prove it. We need some evidence that he's done something wrong, and that doesn't include his attacking us on his own property.

Someone get ahold of Kent Shakespeare, Shady and Lard Lad. Hopefully Lardy can shed some light on what the hell Zardi was talking about regarding Gladys.

And bloody liberty! Someone find Space Ranger!

<walks into conference room, tossing an omni-com on the table, and pouring himself a cup of coffee>

Maybe I'll get to take a shower today...? Doubtful.

<looks at chin stubble in the mirror>

Oh, and everyone get ready for a trip to the Cack's Realm. This will have to be an official delegation to Legion World.

We need Faraway Lad back. I'll handle the diplomacy. Which means I'll try, but make sure you still have sick days left.

I'm listening, boss ...

(blows on Cobalt Kid, his appearance is refreshed as if having taken the best shower in his life)

Well, if he is an Elder, where did he come from? How did he amass all that power? These are my two main concerns.

I don't think any that have met them feel all the comfortable around them, but there is something odd about that castle. When I first went in there, my powers were out of sorts, but now that he has given me an invite, I seem to be fine.

The nature of castle concerns me as well.

Hey guys. Got your message.

I come bearing good news.
Legion World Distance Tracing reports that the Space Ranger's ship has just re-entered this sector. He should be here soon.

I've also been consulting with the Mystic Affairs Division of the Bureau of External Affairs (tm). My top people believe that releasing the dragons from the cloud castle was an excellent move by Candle. It seems these are first-generation dragons - the real deal - not the corruptions and deviations that came later.

These are practically demigods in their own right. Out of Zardi's castle, he can no longer draw on their energies, and he may waste a good deal of energy himself in trying to recapture them. And if they opt to ally with us... well, that's unlikely, but still...

In other words, if Candle is willing to lead him on a wild dragon hunt, all the better. Kudos to her for realizing what we all were so quick to second-guess.

I tried to reach Lardy... his communicator is off. My gut feeling is that he's just taking an evening off.

Kent, is it to be concluded that anything with in the castle of magic origin is his to feast off of? I wonder if it is only achieved by the beings choice or can he gain power from any being as long as they are in his castle?

As for Lard Lad, we should probably find some way of getting a hold of him, I think it would prove prudent to have a man of his poilitical stature informed to the minute as to what is going on.

I think that's part of what I felt. At the same time one is induced - or should I say seduced - to stay, one's magic is syphoned off.

I suspect one must be a willing contributor in order for him to use your power. It would fit his MO of luring rather than conquering.

Zardoz may not intentionally be a magic-vampire; he may be just as much of a euphoria-junkie as he has made his collection.

hang on...

I just got a message from Rocky. Lardy is on his way over.

(as if on cue...)

<'ports in>

Hey, everybody.

<aside to Luna> I'll need to talk to you in private after we've all had a pow-wow.

<to Cobalt> Good to see ya, buddy! I trust you let Ol-Vir have it?

<to everyone> Alright, LMB leader in the house. Kent, can you give me a threat assessment on this Zardi situation?

Sure.

This Zardi fellow is an Elder, one of the original immortals of this universe. He collects magickal people, creatures and artifacts in his floating cloud castle.

Magickal people/beings who spend time there - say an hour or so - tend not to want to leave. My theory is that he is able to use their magickal energies himself.

He apparently has a fairly representative set of beings from all worlds' mythologies and traditions.

He has thus far avoided hostilities, although there's been some button-pushing.

I think he could blow us all away if he chose. I think he's just as interested in the challenge of luring his targets as he is in the actual acquisition.

The problem with all the intel that has been gathered, is that nothing that the Office has produced has had any clear actions as to how me stop him if the need arises.

We need to find a way to put him out of commission if he ever decides to go against Legion World.

Kent, do you think there is any way we can get a Security Officer in the castle to get some feedback on the castle? If it is feeding him power, than perhaps the castle has some sort of enchantment or is a totem of some sort.

Luna, I can vouch for him being a tough sucker, and if you listen on, I'll show you how we can get some firstrate intel. But firsthand, I'll tell ya he took some of my best haymakers without so much as a flinch! However, I'm not sure whether that was due to a spell of some sort or because of a natural invulnerability.

Listen...since he showed up, I've felt some connection with him and with Ghost Girl. Actually, the Ghost Girl thing goes back to when she helped us out during the Phineas affair a few months ago.

Anyhow, with some help from Mayavale, I've realized that in a past life I was really close to Zardi and likely betrayed by him. With some mystical help <gestures toward Luna> I'm thinking about bringing that persona out of me and letting him take over for awhile.

You see, this former self knows a lot more about Zardi than any of us could hope to through other means. And after having gotten a taste of that life, I'm sure of two things: a) This guy I'll turn into was and is a stand-up good guy and will have the best intentions at heart, and b) this Zardi is an evil-ass sunuvabitch! Whatever game Zardi's playing, he is majorly bad news that may make Phineas, the Red Bee and the other worst-of-the-worsts look like the minor leagues!

But I value all of your input. Please, tell me what you think about this idea and what your concerns might be.

(replying to Luna prior to Lardy's entrance)

We need someone totally non-magical; someone hopefully below Zardi's notice.

And just to be on the safe side, someone who tends to even be lacking in imagination.

Getting into the castle seems to be no trouble at all. I still have a surveillance-jammed corner in the archive room; I could 'port someone right inside, as long as they don't mind wading through a few yards of spider webs.

What else do you know about this past self?

Do you believe it to be your first self, your original incarnation?

If so it could be very powerful.

<Ranger flies in, with the elf under one arm and the tablecloth trussed up creature under the other.>

What in the Seven Hells of the Sargasso has been going on while I've been gone? I go into Cramer's for a cuppa, and wind up fighting Ghouls and a Werewolf back to back with an Elf!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Okay, yes I'm still drunk!)

<to Kent> I take it you've someone in mind?

<to Luna> Yes, I believe very strongly this was my first incarnation. And I believe his power level could be something that would benefit us greatly against Zardi.

As for what I know? I know that he and Zardi were close, like brothers. Touching his life, I could tell he was very virtuous, I'd say incorruptable. I also know that he loved someone with all his heart, and Zardi hurt her very badly, maybe even killed her. Then Zardi struck my past self when he was at his most vulnerable and sent his soul falling through an absolute abyss of successive lives.

Ummm.... Ranger? Take another look at the cloak. The elf gave you the slip.

Actually, Lardy, I confess I'm not up on the Security Office's current roster.

Say, Ranger... your powers aren't in any way magical, are they?

Yeah, Okay...

But look what I caught...

<Begins loosening the creatures bonds.>

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Wait till they see this!)

<to Lard Lad>

Incorruptable, you say? That's trait I never want to see in a person. But we are out of options, as much as any of us hate to admit it, Zardi is powerful contender.

I stated to Pagan Lass that the past was a perfect place to look for clues. If your past life has some answers, then we should ask the questions.

I'll help you.

Thanks, Luna, I was hoping you could.

Any other thoughts either about my idea or some suggestions for the overall game plan?

I suppose that's the way to go.

And Lardy? Luna?

I can't say too much just yet, but if Lardy's past self was given any information by a spider, it is very important, even if it seems... out of context, or even too much in context (you'll know what I mean if it happens).

Make sure to fill me in, if this occurs.

That is fine, Kent.

(Luna looks at Space Ranger and his cloak, she peers at him with discontent)

What a foul beast we have here.

(Luna looks at Lard Lad)

I shall go to your Lair, it would be best we do this in private I think.

(teleports out)

Don't any of you want to see a real werewolf?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Spoilsports!)

<grins> Maybe tomorrow, Bart!

Meanwhile, I can't keep a lady waitin', can I?

<'ports out>

Candle walks into the office.
"Will someone tell Cobie that Candle is here, as he requested? I would have been here sooner, but I wasn't in this universe," she smiles.

A VERY clean (almost 'sparkling') Cobalt Kid comes out of his office and motions for Candle to join him and Space Ranger in his office.

As she enters, Candle sees Ranger's captive, a werewolf, "WOW! Is that the real thing? I've never seen a real one before, just Brin and he's not REALLY a Lycanthrope! WOW!"

Space Ranger gets a gratified, sheepish smile on his face.

The wolf snaps at the air.
Space Ranger puts a dog muzzle on him, while leaving the hangcuffs on and the net wrapped around the wolf's shoulders.
The wolf tries to :superhug: Spacey, who yelps and drags the wolf from Cobalt's office.

Candle shakes her head in awe and turns to Cobie.
"What can I do for you and Legion World?"

Before Cobalt Kid can answer, she blurts, "If this is about what I did in the Cloud Castle, I'm not apologizing or giving back any of those released prisoners!"

Cobie motions for Candle to sit down and offers her some iced water to help her calm down, without saying anything.

She sits, sipping the water and collecting her thoughts and emotions.

"Sigh. I'm okay now, say what you have to, Cobie Kiddo, sir."

<Cobalt eyes her with a smile, having just sat through an entire meeting between Luna, Lardy and Kent without speaking much, then having watched Space Ranger enter the office totally inebriated with a werewolf under his arm, and now has Candle enter>

You’ve known me a long time, Shady, and I think you can see just how much I’ve changed, if I can sit through all that and just listen rather than get as many words in edge wise. First off…

<pushes button to receptionist in the hallway, someone temporarily working under Cobalt Kid and not happy about it>

Padmai, have Space Ranger come back as soon as the werewolf is secure. And bring as much strong black coffee as you can. I’m going to have to use my magnetism to force the alcohol out of his system and its going to be gross. Welcome back ‘Ranger.

<turns to Shady>

Shady, first off—what you did at the Castle? Good. Freeing those dragons was a smart move, and I approve. In fact, any other creatures you feel must be ‘saved’, then I’m all for it. Of course, I can’t publicly say that. But sometimes its better to let chaos run rampant and force people into positions they’d rather not be in. So lets pretend I have no idea you released some ancient dragons.

<looks at forearms, which previously had dried blood and dirt stains and are now sparkling clean>

(to self) Nicely done Luna…it really is nice to have you back… (smiles, then shakes away any partial feelings he may have once had for a certain High Priestess so that he can focus on his job)

<turns to Kent, who is still present>

Kent, I’ll give you a list of active Security Officers. These days, most of the high ranking officers come and go at their leisure and usually are involved in cases that take them off planet. For example, Arachne is knee-deep in a case right now far off-world, and it sounds like she’d be perfect for interaction with spiders. Too bad. Invisible Brainiac is deep undercover somewhere I can’t disclose, though given your contacts, I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew. Matlock, our head of Street Crime, is dealing with matters that fall into his department, but he’s available when we need him, since likely this will spill out into the streets eventually.

No, the officer you probably need is right here: Shark Lad. He’s based purely in science, not magic. He’s intelligent, incredibly strong and courageous to a fault. And when circumstances warrant, he can be very single-minded. That blood lust has often been described as a weakness—or even problem—for him, but its gotten me out of more jams than I’d care to admit. I recommend we ask him to take this task.

I’d feel better if he had some help though. But that may already be in place. I’m not sure if you know this yet, but I have an Officer currently within Zardi’s Castle. She went on her own: My Whee Fem. She’s also very proficient, but I do worry about her magical nature, given that she is a Cack. I’m questioning whether having her there is a mistake.

Damn me for having this magical healing ability. I don’t understand it and I hate it. I’d rather it be gone and then I could do this for us. I know this: I’m going to sober up the Ranger and the first sign of trouble, he and I will remind everyone that when people cause trouble on Legion World, there is always plenty of rubble left in the wake. But in the meantime, its of no use for us to be sitting around here, waiting for Zardi to make his move or Lard Lad and Luna to complete their task. What do you think? What should be our next play? I’d suggest trying to round up Legolas, who has now become a wild card.

Also, we need another option. Something else else off-kilter, to through a huge monkey-wrench into the mix. There must be someone or somewhere else we could go to learn more about Zardi, or at least about his longterm goals.

<Opens the door and walks into Cobalt's office. Then looks around and blushes slightly.>

Ohmygod! I'm sorry Mr. Cobalt. Nobody said there was like a meeting going on... But,Umm... Gram said you'd like want to know that both she and STU have fought Zardi in the past.

She says that collecting and controlling Magic Beings is a means to an end for him. He wants to Supplant Mearl Dox as the Supreme Ruler of the Universe.

Only if he gets that kind of power... he won't be like cool about it like Mearl is. He'll be running everything.

<Stumbles back into Cobalt's Office after locking the werewolf in a holding cell.>

Okay, what the sprock is going...

<Sees Britney and freezes, the color draining from his face.>


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I am soooo screwed!)

Brit!

<Cobalt seems surprised by her appearance and stands up; he catches himself but realizes he looked odd for a moment to Kent and Shady>

No worries about missing the meeting. That's actually good intel...and its about what we figured. It makes sense--his true goal is so obvious, but the grandiose nature of it makes it almost too hard to comprehend.

<Cobalt appears to be talking to himself>

That means, of course…that his real goal on Legion World…is something far more sinister. And yet so normal, so petty…so damn…human. I wonder if they know yet? Of course, they must. At least, some of them.

<turns back to Everyday Girl>

I thought you’d be with your Gram on this one, but I guess she’s tied up with other things. Britney, listen to me. I’m ordering you to work with me every step of the way on this case until we can figure out our position better. I mean it, Brit. You’re a high-ranking Security Officer and you’ve proven yourself. But you still report to me—and I need you on this. My Whee Fem is on a secret mission and Jailbait Lass has left me. I’ll tell Matlock and Space Ranger. Don’t get any crazy ideas.

<yells out into the hallway at various Security Officers lingering around, obviously intrigued by all the higher ranking members having such ominous meetings>

Make yourself useful out there! One of you send a message to Sir Roy, and have him report here immediately. He’s not a Security Officer but he’s sworn an oath to Legion World. He might hate my guts but when I tell him the mission I have for him, he’ll be thankful I’ve included him in on this.

Ohmygod! Uncle... You're back... You're DRUNK!

<Pointedly turns away from Spacey.>

Mr Cobalt, If you find the real Space Ranger hiding somewhere inside that rum soaked bag of dung over there...

Send him home, his family misses him.

Oh and I hear what you're saying and junk but like Gram wants me right back to Quank Tower. I'll call you from there...

<Without looking at the Ranger she turns and walks out of Cobalt's office. Slamming the door behind her.>

Ah, Ranger! Glad you could join us.

<sees Everyday Girl's face upon seeing her Uncle in such a state>

Er, uh, thank you, Bart, for volunteering to test that potion for us. I knew you're physiology could surive its poison, but obviously you're feeling some of the side-effects, and it appears you're a little wobbly. Take a seat. Its a good thing you volunteered when you did and saved the other officers from having to do it. It was critical to complete my investigation of that Ol-Vir case.

Now then, lets get you back to normal.

<now chases after Everyday Girl>

Everyday Girl! Stop where you are! As Chief of Security, I'm doing something I've never done before with you--I'm pulling rank!

Legion World needs you and this Office needs you! I'm ordering you stay and help!

<magnetically holds her>

Abin and Pagan will agree with me. Now get back here and help me plan my next move.

Ohmygod! Mr Cobalt! Stop!

Nobody, No One, Set him up!

<Everyday Girl's demons pull Cobalt's feet out from under him and he crashes hard to the floor. His concentration slips for just a second and Britney is free of his magnetic field. In her hands are her Twin 9mm Baretta Pistols.>

Tamper has created some wild ammo for me over the years Mr Cobalt. He claims that the plastic H.E. rounds I'm using can take even you out...

Now I'd like rather not test that... So lets make a deal. You keep your magnetic hands off of me and I won't shoot you.

Britney, please, we have far too much going on for this nonsense.

Listen to me--I need you here. I need your help. Legion World needs you.

The last thing I want is for you and I to square off in the Security Office and battle it out. I don't think you realize the crisis we're in. We've been through a lot together and I've always taken your side when many others on Legion World dissaproved of your rank here. Don't let me down.

Now please...will you help me?

Brit, Please...

<Shuts up as BOTH Cobalt and Everyday Girl Glare at him.>


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Sprock, Sprock, Sprock!!!)

Ohmygod! Mr Cobalt, I'm like going to my office for a few minutes...

If you can use your healing powers to sober up Uncle Drunk Nass Loser over there call me and I'll be down in a jiff.

Besides I need to call Lolita...

Okay, that sounds good Brit. Come back whenever you're ready.

<ignores the Lolita comment, and turns to Ranger>

Wow Ranger, you really screwed this one up.

<puts arm around him, knowing full well, Space Ranger can hardly stand strait>

Lets see if my healing powers will work on you and get you at least semi-coherent. Then we'll get you some super-strong coffee, and something really greasy--preferably one of those old 21st Century Earth dishes that were banned in the 22nd century when humanity became concerned with hygeine.

<carries into conference room, using healing power>

Listen, Ranger. I need Everyday Girl with me every step of the way on this one. And I can't have her get distracted worrying about her Uncle, whose on a binger because of a deceased love. I feel for you--I really do. I miss Sarya too. But you have to get it together.

So I'll repeat: I need Britney by my side for the duration of this "Event". Do not do something that pulls her away from me. There is a very real danger present.

<smiles>

Damn, part of me wishes I was just as drunk as you are...like the old days...defending Legion World and then celebrating afterwards...

<sighs>

But enough of that...<continues using powers>

That's enough, Cobalt.

Some coffee and one of those burgers that My calls a heart attack on a plate will finish the job.

I need a shower first.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And a clean uniform.)

Kent and Candle are talking in a corner of Cobie's office while watching the silliness around them.

"Goodness, Kent, I'm really impressed by your operatives and your information!" Candle says.

"The full story on these Dragons is this:
The third thing the Creator created was the Dragons, right after Heaven and the Angels.
Like the Angels, many many Dragons were made but unlike the Angels, most of the Dragons formed marriages, clans (or tribes) and alliances.

Except for the first 7 created.
They remained the Instruments of God

When Lucifer, the Day Star, rebelled, one third of the Angels joined him and ALL of the Dragon clans.
Only the 7 remained faithful.

After the Fall, all of the corrupted were cast out, but the 7 were rewarded.

Among other things, the number 7 became the 'perfect' number, the number of Completion and in all of the universes created and all that will EVER be created, the 7 shall be represented ~ not them, but OF them.

The 7 were safe until many millions of years ago, they were sent on missions, only to disappear, one at a time."

"When I stumbled on the castle," Candle continues, "I realized when I woke up and saw the cherubim, that others of the Celestial Host might be in the Castle, too, so I began to look."

"And you know the consequences."
"Yes, I think that you're right," she says.

"After I freed the 7, Zardi's power diminished within a very short time."
"Enough, that it allowed me to sense the presense of the rest of the Cherabim and the Seraphim and finally, the two ArchAngels that Kardi had hidden so well."

"I couldn't risk him successfully adding anymore mystical beings to his arsenal before I could find Michael and Gabriel, so I had to act immediately."

Candle replies, "I think he collects, I know he does, but not always gently."
"Why, the first thing he did was drug me and he went after Stoopid Cat with Cilthu (I don't even want to say the name correctly), an ancient and disgusting evil!"

"You mentioned earlier that you'd like to find out if the Dragon's might help Legion World against him."

"Their Leader, ShadowHEART, is on her honeymoon after finally finding a mate among the 7 in Mysa Nal 3's universe. Hopefully, this union will result in baby dragons, but in the mean time, FyresDAWN will be in charge of the tribe. I'll go and ask her for help and see what happens."

"I'll let you know, as soon as I find out."

With a smile and hug for Kent and a wave to the rest of the people in the office, Candle leaves.

Thanks, Candle! You've done some great work. Glad you're with us on this one.

I know a few people were negative about what you did, but everyone needs to remember all of us are guided by our own individual experiences. And it's easy to mistake the limits of one's experience for objective limits. I made my fair share of errors as a cub agent many moons ago.

Good luck with the dragons! I'll be in touch.

Meanwhile at the front desk...


I am called Doom Bringer. I am the head of my lord Zardi's Security Forces. I have been informed that you have a rouge werewolf in custody.

I am here to retrieve it.

(Security Officer Kenny Ketchum is manning the front desk.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Bringer. As a security chief yourself, I'm sure you understand there are proper procedures to follow. If you'd like to have a seat, I'll contact my chief's office, and we'll get you an appointment as quickly as we can.

"Please help yourself to the pastries and coffee on the table over there. Made fresh by Fat Cramer herself! All pastries are vegan-friendly, and our creamers are 100 percent enhanced soy!

"Enjoy your stay. I'll be back as quick as I can."

Kenny exits, heading for Cobie's office)

Vegan Friendly? 100% Enhanced Soy?

Bah!

<He snaps his fingers and a silver chalice filled with a steaming crimson liquid appears>

Blood Wine!

<walks into the lobby>

Doom Bringer is it? Officer Ketchum informed me of your request. I regret to tell you I can't comply. The werewolf in question attacked a citizen of Legion World, and a high ranking Security Officer at that. He's under arrest.

Even more, I've established for years that werewolves have no rights on Legion World if they are unable to curtail their bloodlust. So we are now pumping him full of a cocktail of liquid silver that will prohibit further changes. Once it takes effect and removes the werewolf curse--which it will do--he'll stand trial. I'll of course encourage you to speak at the trial.

The laws of Legion World are beyond reproach and I recognize no other.

Please tell your Lord. I'm sure he'll understand.

I should kill you for your arrogance, human. But my Master has ordered that your laws be obeyed.

For Now...

You should know... My Agents hunt the Elf Lord Legolas for crimes against your government and my Master.

When he is caught he will be punished by our laws and hung by the neck until he is dead.

As a gesture of good will between our governments we will do this in Founder's Park.

And throw a... Barbi-que? is that the word? A feast... for the masses as he slowly strangles.

Perhaps we will be lucky enough to serve Dragon Steaks...

<He raises his chalice to Cobie in a mock salute, and vanishes>

(Kent walks back in immediately after)

Hey Cobes. I've been looking over Sharky's file and--

Cobie? Do you smell... sulfur? There's the unmistakable whiff in the air...

anyway, I agree with your suggestion.

Ohmygod! That Doom Bringer guy is like officially creepy. Brrrr...

Mr Cobie-Cakes I know you want me to like hang with you and protect you from this latest influx of creeps and like mystical uglies...

But if I'm gonna do that I need to like visit Mr Tamper-Puss and get a few "specials" loaded.

I'm like thinking holy water, garlic, and stuff like that... a couple of silver bullets like dipped in holy water and/or garlic...

Sounds good Brit, better to stock up on that stuff now.

And Kent, I think Sharky will work well for what you have in mind. He was here a moment ago but most be following up on one of the cases. I'm hereby officially authorizing Sharky to report to you for this mission so we can make some headway. Make sure you use the tesseracts at all times.

In the meantime, I'm sure you've heard about that Doom Bringer fellow. I stood my ground and gained a little victory here, but that won't last long. He intends to find Legolas and execute him in Founder's Park. There are a few ways to play this but I don't think another forced confrontation will serve anyone. I think its time I headed out to Legion World, and found Legolas myself...

I'll be available by com-link should anyone need me. Stand fast, LMBers--we've got quite a fight ahead of us.

<exits>

<arrives at Security Office>

Hile, good receptionist! Cobalt Kid sent an urgent summons, and I am here to add my blade to Legion World's defense.

<is brought forward to nearby conference room>

Greetings Kent Shakespeare and Everyday Girl. What is this? Cobalt Kid asks for my help and is not even here to accept it? Aye, my temperment towards him does not change much.

<sees a package waiting for him>

At least he had the good sense to leave me an explanation...

<reads the enclosed request of Sir Roy and instructions on what must be done. Upon Roy's completion, the request bursts into flames>

Interesting. I do not see yet why this requires an outside source and not one of his own security officers, but I'll gladly do it if the situation is as imperative as Cobalt Kid believes it to be.

<begins to walk out>

Farewell friends, it appears my stay here will be brief. I've a new mission: find Hrun the Barbarian!

<exits>

(appears as an astral porjection)

Cobalt Kid...

I'll put this on a repeat until he gets here.

I found Legolas, but did not bother to apprehend him. He, of course, knows that he is wanted. He has inside information on Zardi, perhaps it would be best if you offered him some sort of protection.

Besides, I can not help but feel something similar about him...

I'm still helping out Lard Lad, I'll be active again as soon as possible.

(repeats until Cobalt Kid gets the message and then fades away)

(Luna appears in a flash of green light, she looks for Cobalt Kid. When she sees that he is not near, she digs into her robe and pulls out her com-link.)

Cobalt, it's Luna.

I have finished with Lard Lad. He's not Lard Lad anymore. I do not believe that he is threat. I am going to my little office, you know where to find me if you need me.

Luna out!

(goes into her office)

Candle comes in the office, sees that it's currently empty and goes to her 'special assignment' cubby.

She finds a note and directions to a large package in the baskets below.

The note reads:
Candle,

Thanks for getting that order in to Tamper Lad so quickly!
He had the items that he had rushed over later that same day.
I can only spare two nets now, but there will be more coming in a back order, soon.
I also included a couple of extra special issue items that might help.
Hope to see you soon and good luck on your mission.

Kent

Shady tucks the note away and leaves notes for Cobalt Kid and Shark Lad in their mailboxes.

She puts the package in a large backpack, slips it over a shoulder and leaves the office, a smile on her face.

Luna recieves a message from Cobalt Kid via Security Office com-link:

Luna, I'm currently close to finding Legolas and bringing him in. In the meantime, I can't return until I do so but I don't want to be cut-off from the loop. Feel free to join me but do not let anyone know where you are going; you can teleport directly into my bedroom, if I'm not there, I'll be by the pool area. Bring your bathing suit or something that gives on the appearance of a vacation. We want this approach to be casual.

Ohmygod! That woman is like so... I don't even know how to say it... it's like a glow... almost like a halo but over her whole body.

Comforting but like way intimidating at like the same time...

(enters using the door)

Well, that was a bit refreshing.

Cobalt!!!

(into com-link)
Cobalt, this is Luna, I am taking reserve status. I will stay in my office and monitor things around here.

Luna out.

(turns to Kent who was following her)

Thank you, Kent.

I shall be fine making it to my office.

A small tesseract opens in the main office, <span style="font-size: 56px;">0</span> and the LMPB members walk through. <span style="font-size: 80px;">*</span>

Cobalt immediately goes to the Office security boards and initiates total lockdown and shielding.

Candle sits in the nearest chair and slumps a little.
"I'm sorry Cobie, I'm the one who hyposprayed Carrie. She was trying to 'glamorize' Kent and take him to the Castle."

Candle takes a recorder from her vest, turns it on and hands it to Cobie.

"Here's a recording of the incident. You can see the exchange of banter, even though Kent knows Luna needs to go to Medicus I."

"The indicaters on the side here," she points out the relevant area, "records the assertion of her magical influence, it's spikes and growing assault on Kent's senses and mind."

"Where'd . . .?" Cobalt asks.

Kent, who's also found a chair, says wearily, "Tamper Lad was the source. I've added quite a lot of ordinance to our stores since Kardi and the Castle showed up."

MysticLuna walks in and makes her way slowly to the reception couch as Cobalt finds a seat on the corner of the desk.

"Her influence was great enough that Kent doesn't even remember how the encounter ended! sigh," Candle leans back in the chair.

"I think we're in deep do-do, ladies and gentlemen!"

Once again, things are moving incredibly fast. I'll play catch-up as I go.

Shady, thanks for getting me up to speed. Apparently, Kent, they think you were responsible. They'll want me to arrest you, though Shady's testimony exonerates you. Still...maybe we can use that to our advantage...

<notices Luna>

Luna, are you okay?

<looks towards others>

Someone get me up to speed on what happened to Luna. She doesn't look to good and we'll need her more than ever.

I am not fine. I already was at Medicus, over night, they do not know what is wrong with me.

All I know is that, I feel strange in the Castle, and I feel even more strange outside of it.

I was planning to go to my office and rest, then start my own investigation, but with Kent getting accused by the pixie woman, I interceded via hologram.

As I said before, I am sticking to monitor duty until further notice.

<puts hand on Luna's shoulder>

Good, you need to rest, and try to get better. I'm not sure what ails you, but its obvious Zardi's presense on Legion World helped trigger in some way. Yet another mystery.

<to the others>

The hunt for Legolas continues across Legion World and instead of letting us help him, he continues to evade us as well. As tempting as it would be for Zardi's goons to simply tear him asunder, we can't allow it. So keep your eyes peeled. As it stands, all we tend to find are old LMB hangouts that he stops into and then leaves soon after.

Zardi's latest ploy was to try to use the LMBP Senate to impeach Lard Lad. While its actually not a bad point, given Lardy's current state, it won't work, since we have so many protections in place. Most importantly, our deputy leader, Cleome. If things do go that route, and Lardy is removed temporarily, this Office should serve as a major assistance to Cleome in holding temporary control of the LMBP.

And yet, Zardi appears to not have caused much real damage himself. Have any of you battled him or his minions yet? I'm still catching up on the large amount of activity on Legion World. Kent, I know you had a confrontation with Carrie-Ann...was it anything we can pursue legally?

Something else else to think on. In the meantime, I still have yet to meet this "Lardi the Incorruptible", I'm not sure where Shark Lad has gone, and still no word from My Whee Fem. Or Space Ranger for a few days, for that matter...

<walks into office>

Well buddy, we sure could use you right now...

<Cobalt looks to what at first appears to be a statue in the corner of his office, but on closer inspection is not>

Hidden from the other members of Legion World and the LMB is a carbonite form standing upright. It is Loser Lad, hidden here after all this time, a secret to all but a few .

<Ranger walks into Cobalts office followed by a cloaked figure...>

Um... Cobalt, I'm not sure this is the best time to bring this up but...

<He turns and removes the robe from the figure behind him, revealing...>




Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(The new uniforms for your interns have arrived...)

Back in the main office, Everyday Girl has brewed some coffee and heated some water and offers everyone there tea or coffee to help revive them.

As Kent takes his, Candle looks at him and says, "You just happen to carry a HOWITZER?! Those are anti-tank guns aren't they?!"

And she begins to chuckle into her cup of English Breakfast.

Ohmygod, umm... Miss Candle... I like made the coffee and junk 'cuz you asked but I'm not like one of the staff.

My title is Assistant Chief of Security, so like tecnically you work for me, not the other way around.

'Kay? Bye, I'll be in my office if you need me...

<runs out of the room>

...

...

Excellent.

And who is this lovely creature? My new intern, I surmise. Great, I'm going to need someone underneath me. I'm glad we'll have uniforms for my interns specifically. The hat and collar are a nice touch (so is the bare midriff, and the...well, you get what I mean).

Ranger, why don't you bring them all in my office so we can go over strategy. I suddenly feel refreshed and full of energy. Let's save Legion World, dammit, so we can throw an after party!

"O-k-a-y . . ."

"IS there a receptionsit?"
"Does it pay?"
"Maybe I should apply for it if there IS a receptionist job and nobody is doing it, 'cause what I'm doing now doesn't pay, does it, Kent?"
(I'll have to read the first 9 or so pages to see what the set-up is here, though."

"Do I work for her technically if I don't get paid as a special agent/liason in charge of Dragons?"

"You'll have to show me how you like your coffee made, Mr. Shakespeare, since I don't drink it, myself."

Candle begins to chuckle again.

<Saunters up to the intern sitting at the receptionist's desk.>

Hello young lady, can you direct me to whomever is available to receive a complaint?

I am Constable Brimstone H. Devil of the Cloud Castle Security Force and I'd like to report a series of break-ins and burglaries...

As Constable Brimstone H. Devil talks with the intern receptionist, slip unnoticed into the buildings ventalation system...

Who we supposed to be watching/listening to?

Everybody, but especially Cobalt Kid, Space Ranger, Kent Shakespeare, and Everyday Girl...

appear in Everyday Girl's office.

The female agent looks at Girl, while the male agent looks at the air vents.
"We are agents sent by our Magestrix to inform you that Kardi's agents have infiltrated this establishment with the purpose of spying on the activities of this organization."

The male speaks up, "I hear two or three tiny voices in the air ducts. Shall I retrieve them for you?"

In the Receptian area, Candle looks at the Constable with narrowed eyes and flickering armor.

"I don't know who can assist you, possibly Mr. Shakespeare here, can help you, or we can get Cobalt Kid for you when his current guest leaves?"

Candle looks at the vents and her eyes narrow even further.

"Do you plan on leaving the fairies in the airducts when you leave or are they a permanent gift or the Legion World Office of Security?"

Look, Agents of one of the ommnipotent females...

[farie magic]
Blue: I don't hear them
Violet: I don't see them
Red: I'm not talking to them...
[/fairie magic]

The Magestrix's two agents vanish...

Blinks in surprize as the cute intern he was attempting to chat up is replaced by Candle...

Actually I don't have all day to wait. Perhaps there are some complaint forms I can fill out, since it seems your office is supremely uninterested in crimes committed AGAINST the Cloud Castle and it's inhabitants.

Also please notify Cobalt Kid and his staff that in the future, anyone who has not been granted free access by the Master, will suffer severe consequences for their actions if they choose to invade our home.

Good Day...

appear in the Reception Office and Cloak hands the sleeping fairies to the Constable.

"We don't 'disappear' for very long," Dagger says to him, "since 'disappearing' is what Cloak DOES, on a regular basis."

"And I don't know who you were chatting up, 'sir', Cobalt Kid hasn't assigned an intern to Reception yet, that we've seen, anyway," Candle says quietly to the Constable's back as he turns and walks out.

Bilbo bumps into Brimstone, looks at him to apologize.
Brimstone snarles, his glamour slipping somewhat in frustration, and Bilbo gives a little scream, shudders through the door and slams it shut.

"Wow, miss, he's as horrible as the other one!"

"I'm here for that Howitze so I can keep from being eaten by one of these things," he stammers.

He continues,"I've lived on Legion World for a long time and I've seen a lot of interesting things, ya know, but never any 'things' like I've seen here since that Cloud Castle showed up!"

"Demons and that ilk scare me and every citizen here! Even the space pirates and smugglers, not to mention the pick-pockets, are murmuring and talking about finding other worlds for berths!"

"And that castle just got here!"

Bilbo pauses to take a breath and
take the opportunity to salute Kent and Candle and disappear again, this time on their own power.

"Those two aren't normally around here, that I remember, anyway," says Kent with wide eyes.

"No, they're just assigned to me by Mysa Nal3 until I go to the dragons," Candle replies.
"Zardi has more powerful enemies than he may know of, especially where the dragons are concerned!"

Candle turns to the desk and whispers to herself, "and I'm no Glinda."

When Bilbo starts in again, Candle directs him to Kent.

Then she gets up from the Reception Desk and says to the room in general, "Reception work is too difficult! Besides the coffee making, you have to be polite to demons and that's just NOT my calling."

As she wonders over to the mail cubbies, a small bevy of and wake up from their nap under the couch and begin studying the hovering creatures.

"Don't bat at the Lumen, dears," Candle says, then turns to Kent, "I have to go, I have a chance at an audience with the Regent, FyresDawn, in Luna's void."

As she gathers the kittens and heads for the door, she says, "Please tell Sharky that I'm sorry that I missed him again. I was hoping he could join me on my mission to the Dragons. But, I suppose Cobie would have had something for him to do, anyway."

"Bye!"

Bon chance, ma cherie!

A flies through the outer walls of the Office and flits from office to office until it finds Luna's.
She's napping on a daybed placed under her large window, so it leaves the note it's carrying on her desk chair seat, for her to find later.

The note reads:
<span style="font-size: 16px;">To MysticLuna ~

It has occured to us that the dragons bringing life to you ancestrial 'void' may be the reason for you current weakness.

We don't know that this is true, it's just a possibility.

We can't chance that the hypothesis is correct and that we would continue to injure you.

SO ~ a mirror void has been created and all developments in the dragon's lives that happened in your 'void' have been removed.

That is, the ones that involve our servants and the Dragons. It was beyond our power to remove Zardox's intrusions.
You will have to deal with those yourself.

Regretfully and with the hope that you will regain most, if not all, of your health,

Mysa Nal3
Magestrix</span>

Quietly buzzing over her, it drops some healing dust over her, just for good measure it thinks.
Finished, the flits out through the closed window and disappears into the city's afternoon haze.

Some weeks later, Lumena darts through a closed window and deposits a note in Cobalt Kid's mail cubbie.

She flits up to the new receptionist, who looks up from her work, startled.
"What . . .?"

Then, darts back out through the same window that she came in through.

The receptionist mutters to herself, "This is SUCH a strange place."

I'm thinking that this place needs an upgrade...more space and some personal protection for our beloved Security Chief. A Promotion is in order as well. I just need your vote to accomplish all this...and more.

Cobie, ignor Dev, you know he is just pandering to get your vote.
As a former security officer you know I'll REALLY have the best interests of the office at heart.

Says nothing as to what he'll actually do for you...or how much the LMBP will be backing you financially.

Maybe we can repeal some of these rights the citizens get. Honestly, I wouldn't mind being allowed to just barge into anywhere.

That's never stopped you at my place...

It's time to move on to some real security issues.

Like the upcoming Legion World High Senior Prom


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Take it seriously people, those kids get too drunk and out of control, "poof" half the damm planet's gone!)

I've been dreading this. All these months we've worked incredibly hard during the Lard Lad / Cleome term, dealing with issues before they could become calamities that make the galactic news. Super-villains, invasions, science gone horribly wrong, doped up addicts looking for a fix, prostitutes being harrassed by prudish zealots. And we've gotten quite a bit done.

But now it approaches. The Legion World Senior Prom. In one of those rare occurrences, all of the schools of LW have combined to have one huge Prom and it happens to be Everyday Girl's first Prom, and just also happens to occur on the same day the solar cycle hits its next maximum. Even weirder, this is the day the Red Bee promised he'd return to Legion World to cause problems, and its the annivesary of the first battle with the Time Mouse Trapper. It just can't be good.

I think there's only one solution. I need to attend the Legion World Prom (with a date) and watch is myself.

I don't know how good of an idea you attending openly is Cobie. Now don't get me wrong, I want you there. I just don't want you to be the center of attention. Go with that teacher, what's her name, again? Ms. Holly Horni or something like that?

Stay off to the side, or in the teacher's lounge, until the fur starts flying. And if it doesn't, somebody will still have had a good time.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Besides, I heard that JBL will be there.)

<double take>

What? Er, um, sorry, I thought I misheard you.

(Did he say Jailbait Lass is going to be there? Oh great...)

I guess I can hang with the teacher's and patrol the event. I can get at least 10 detention innuendos in during the first five minutes...

um........who exactly is Everyday Girl taking? Grimbor? a nice young man from ... Lythyl?

Some kid named Sam who she thinks is the just the nicest guy in the whole world...but in reality is just another dirty-minded you kid trying to get boozed up and then "you know".

Furball is willing to work backup for this thing.

I think at this point we might as well co-opt the Legion World High School Prom and open it up to the entire LMB. On the condition that every LMBer must come up with some sort of cover story for why they're there.

Mine is I'm going to hit it [off] with Everyday Girl's art teacher, Ms. Bella.

Plus, this way I can survey the Senior Class for ladies who will be turning 18 shortly and might make, er, good interns at the security office.

Mr Cobalt?

Brit asked me to stop by here and have a few words with you.

Hello Sam. What do you need? Are you looking for an internship? I thought you had that whole EMT gig.

One of the assistants will get you the proper forms to fill out. If Brit vouches for you I'm sure it will speed up the process.

<looks around>

And by the way, I think Dev-Em spilled the beans about that night out you and Tony had a few weeks back. I know I'm to blame but they expect that behavior from me.

Look Mr Cobalt, We stopped for two beers at SHAKES. That's not any big deal. She already knew about that.

And No I'm not looking for an internship. <Glances over at one of the Intern Lass triplets who's listening in on their conversation while pretending to manually enter data into the computer.> I'm pretty sure I don't fit the profile of what you're looking for in an intern.

I'll be blunt Mr. Cobalt. Brit thinks you're gonna try to break us up, to protect her from me. Cuz you think I'm just trying to get into her pants and once I do I'll lose interest in her.

You're wrong. I love her. And if you try to come between us you'll be making a big mistake.

Is he rhreatening rou Cobie?

Ooooooookay tough guy. Listen kid, no offense, but you can stop your posturing. I'm sure you're tough as nails on the magno ball court, but you haven't exactly conquered parts of the Dark Oval.

As for Brit...let's just say my recollection of that night was more than just two beers at SHAKES. You fooled Space Ranger and Matlock and that takes some skill, but I know my own kind when I smell it.

You're looking to get a little action and then you're going to toss her aside when you're done. Look at you--by that clean cut look you'll probably be snorting cocaine and playing omni-com poker in no time. Well guess what, sport? Not only will Everyday Girl blast off your kneecaps, I'll make sure I get to you first.

You're like a little Dr. Doom just waiting to happen.

Hi Furball, Have those mangy spots on your back cleared up yet?

That cream Doc One gave you should have done the trick.

Mr Cobalt, I came by to tell you that I'm in love with Brit and nothing is gonna change that. But, it seems you think I'm some junior league version of you, a merciless lothario.

It doesn't work that way for me. But you go ahead and keep an eye on me. One thing I don't mind is people looking out for the best interests of the girl I love.

I'll show myself out...

Any punk kid can come in off the street and insult one of the galaxy's greatest heroes. But I guess it didn't take much to show your true colors, eh "Pureheart"? :rolleyes:

<Kid leaves>

Ha! Like I never used that trick before! How do you think I got my first few Princesses? I go tell her father I love the daughter and I'd be glad to have the Knights keep an eye on me.

Next thing you know, the Princess is sneaking me into her bedroom after I save the planet and then Lardy shows up in a villianous costume and kidnaps me! Add in a "the atmosphere of your planet is killing me" and a few good bye omni-messages and its a job well done.

God, if I had a credit for every time Lardy showed up in an odd outfit...

Careful Cobie, that young man is a whole lot tougher than he looks. You've worked with him more than once, so you know I'm right and you always spoke very highly of him... before today.

He didn't grow a second head when he started dating Brit.

He's a good kid Cobie. In fact he's a lot more like you than he'll admit. You and he have the same amount of back-up in you, NONE!

You should have been there the day he met Hrun. He gave Brit a kiss on the cheek and Hrun yelled "You Dare!" Then launched his axe at the kid's head. Kid caught the axe, walked up to Hrun and handed it back to him, Then looked him dead in the eye and asked if he wanted to try a second shot.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Hrun deemed him worthy of his daughter.)

Wow, everyone seems to be telling the real Chief of Security to be careful today. Not sure why there is another person walking around here with that title at teh ready.

Trust me on this though, Cobie is tougher than he looks as well...and so are the rest of us.

I don't know Ranger...I know you'll always protect Brit, but you're tendency to see in black & white means you sometimes might be off about those of us in the gray area. Not often, mind you, but sometimes.

But okay, that's a good story with Hrun. Maybe he's not all bad. You know no matter how tough I think he might be I'll never admit to it.

I'll keep an eye on him.

<aside>

BTW Dev, I totally blamed you for spilling the beans about that little guy's night out. Think of it as me going under cover to <strike>ruin this kid's Prom</strike> make sure his intentions are noble.

(pops in)

Cobie, be careful.

someone spilled a truckload of castor oil in front of your front door. Most of it's been cleaned up, but it's pretty slippery.

I'd be careful if I were you.

(wanders off)

Is cool Cobie. I can take whatever comes my way for that one. Whatever it takes to <strike>take this kid down</strike> get the job done.

If you want to be the LMBP Leader, maybe you should find out who the current cast of characters are Dev. The roster has changed quite a bit over the years. I joined just after Legion World Started. But I'm kind of a low profile guy, so maybe you just didn't notice me.

Cobie didn't start the Security Office by himself. He and I started it, Together!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Back during the Crujectra administration.)

Thanks for clarifying that. Maybe if you at work more often, I would have noticed you.

I'm glad you two have met. Better our powerhouses all know one another. Dev, you'll like the Ranger a lot; his attitude toward crime is pleasantly extreme.

But Sammy Pureheart showing up here has convinced me more than ever we need a full Security detail at the LW Prom when it happens, which I suspect will be right after the new LMB leaders are announced. (AKA: postathon!!! )

wOOt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~|\~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anybody seen the broad that was supposed to be cleaning out my tank?

I thought she went out to get a drink, but apparently...she took off.

lousy interns ...

So we need to get this office geared up for the new leadership! I want this place looking spotless and all these outstanding cases wrapped up.

We've had one of the most successful eras ever during Lardy and Cleome's term--solving case after case without much fanfare. Let's keep it going.

(And let's hope I didn't jinx it).

(And why am I talking to myself like Space Ranger now?)

Ohmygod! You should be like talking to yourself you big...

Of all the low down, lousy, stinking, worthless, cheap-ass things you've ever done, this one is the...

I locked my guns in the case... cuz I couldn't like be trusted...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down, Brit! I see my talk with Sam Evilheart went good. He probably came clean to you right afterward.

Well, I know its hard but better to get it all out in the open now. I have your best interests at heart, trust me.

Don't talk to me.

I'm here to clean out my office...

Oh and 'Lita says you can Kiss her Butt.

My's quitting too, and Gladys, and Maralyn, and Vicki, and Janis, and Doris, and Bev...

But the Intern HO Triplets, they need two more rounds of antibiotics... so they're staying on.

Have a nice life, Creep!

Hey, hold on Brit! There's no need to quit! You do a lot of good around here.

<softer voice>

Look, I'm really looking out for you. Sam Pureheart is clever, but I can't help but get a bad vibe from him. Remember how the Red Bee tricked us all? You can't let your guard down for any handsome, heroic young man. Ever notice how his friend Tony is scared of him? Something else else isn't right there.

Ohmygod, Tony isn't scared of him! God you're just jealous! Cuz he's younger, bigger, stronger, and hansomerer than you.

All of those things could be true for all I care. What matters is he's just some punk kid whose worked some sort of spell on you.

And I don't like it.

(And handsomerer? Really? Come on, look at this face)

She might have a point there...just sayin.

Ohmygod!

You know what? I'm not quitting.

I'm telling Sam, He's got to bring me to work and pick me up from work every day.

And I'm gonna make sure we're right in your office doorway when I kiss him hello and good-by.

*sigh*

Okay, Brit, fine. If it means you keep working here, I don't care if your boyfriend picks you up and brings you to work.

But please at least consider my advice. I know a thing or two about men who say things but mean something else.

I'm sure he'll have a chance to prove himself soon enough. Either he's a hero who just needs a chance and I'll welcome him with open arms, or he's a spy sent her by Zardi to get at your grandparents through you. In which case, he's had centuries perfecting his craft fooling magic-users, warriors, detectives and good Samaritans.

But just for giving me this headache, I'm definitely attending your Prom.

Ohmygod, like there was a chance you weren't after you got a taste of Miss "Nude Modeling is an Art Form" Holly.

I couldn't stand her before...

Look, don't hold it against your art teacher that we slept together on one of the drawing tables. (Hope that wasn't your one by the way )

Ever since I was a teen, I've had Lardy suck every ounce of fat off my body so I'm probably the most fit specimen in this entire galaxy. What artist wouldn't want to take a look--and then what sentient wouldn't want to do what comes naturally after?

I was actually hoping you'd introduce me to the librarian but didn't think it was the right time to bring it up...

Not Helping Cobie.

Britany Lynn Quank, Enough of this!


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(If he's not man enough to handle this on his own, he's not the one for you.)

Very nice Space Ranger. My son looks up to the Space Rangers.

Ohmygod!

Uncle... You're right, Sam has to handle this.

(I think perhaps I need to keep a closer eye on this kid. Just look at the division within the Security Office. This could very well be a plot of Zardi's!

But maybe I should hold off on letting Brit know anymore of my theories for a little bit)

Cobie, The kid would have to be a complete idiot to jerk Brit around. Think about it for a minute. He'd have Abin, Pagan, Me, SC, Hrun, matlock, and you to deal with. If there was anything left of him when Brit, My, and Lolita got finished with him.

I see the wheels turning partner... but it don't make sense.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And Pagan would know in a heartbeat if he was one of Zardi's)

What if he was an unwitting pawn. Not aware of the diversion he was causing?

Fellas, something isn't right with that kid. And I know it takes a crazy person to attack us all, but yet we've all been attacked countless times. We just bring that out in people

But I can see Brit was pretty wound up and I don't want to give her a coronary. I know Prom is pretty stressful to girls. I attended about a dozen of them myself since I had just recently co-founded the LMB and was a huge celebrity at the time. And each one I went to, my date was off her rocker. So I don't want to make her even more stressed out.

Still--I think pretty highly of all of my fellow LMBers and Security Officers, but I believe that anything can happen and any one of us can be fooled...

That's a possibility, something to keep an eye on.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Except it really wasn't him creating the divisions)

Big difference between some nutjob who thinks he can take us down attacking and some high school kid practicing his 4F technique on the wrong girl, Cobie.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(He'll find out about the fifth F if that's what he's up to.)

What are you implying? We need to watch our own backyard.

You're thinking too strategically, Ranger. Zardi is a magical being and therefore plays by different rules, unlike the Red Bee or the Dominion. He plays on choices and emotions.

How better to attack us than through something like breaking one of very best's heart? How better to cause all kinds of internal strife? Its hard to explain because I'm not a magic-user myself really...but they play by other rules than we do.

(And don't let Brit know I called her one of our very best; not until I get an apology...)

I'm not implying anything. I'm saying that the kid didn't do anything. The divisions here are because of our reactions to the kid dating Brit.

Look I'll give you two the "Something else else's Fishy about this" card and agree with it. But only because she's never acted like this before. She's got that Valley Girl act down pat but she's sharp. This kid's got her wrapped around his finger. That's not like her. I don't know but...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And maybe I just want her to be happy)

And if that's the case I'll stuff that castle of his up his ass, sideways.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Wrapped in sandpaper!)

That's the attitude I was looking for.

I know I'm right. That behavior was a little much, even for Everyday Girl. Something else else is off here.

My instincts are never wrong. Let's just all keep an eye out and see how this develops. We've got the LMB election and LW Prom to get through and then we can relax a little bit.

Yeah, I know, I don't believe that either

And what about your "good feelings" about VD Lass?

When I met her she was "Clean Bill of Health Lass"

So were you STD Lad, back then?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Cobalt Kid sounds so much better!)

Er, hey, guys. With my term almost over and my persona emerging again, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at the Office.

So, Cobester...a minute...

<goes aside with Cobalt and uses Lard Force to keep the conversation unheard by Ranger>

As usual--well almost usual --I'm with ya on this with this Sam Turdface character. But how much investigating have you done? Are you sure Brit hasn't already given him her...virtue? She's a teenager, ya know--did she still even have it left to give when she met him?

You better be sure your voice is kept down!

<looks around>

I'm pretty sure she hasn't slept with him yet but I have nothing to back that up, its just a feeling based on all the years I've known her and been her friend.

To be honest, Sam Pureheart is just some random kid who joined the EMTs not too long ago and I've worked with on some occasions. But the more I check up on him the less I seem to find. He migrated from offworld about two years ago and has basically held menial jobs since then. He goes to Legionnopolis High just like Everyday Girl.

But I know my instincts. I don't like him.

(PS - if you didn't see, check out the LW Top 40 thread for the first half of this subplot)

Okay, so you distrust the guy. I trust your instincts...you know that. But you're throwing around him being as minor a threat as some creep trying to get into her pants all the way up to his being a threat to Legion World!

Which way is your arrow pointing? I'm with ya either way, but what does your gut tell ya?

I've never known Everyday Girl to act so...girly. Which makes me think he's fooling her...which makes me think he fooled Space Ranger, Pagan Lass, Hrun and Matlock. Which means he's really good. Top that off with Zardi's recent reappearance and the upcoming LMB election causing a temporary moment of chaos in LMB protocol and well...I think he's more than just some kid trying to get into the pants of someone I look out for. I think he might be a real threat. Or at least someone to keep an eye on.

And also--no punk kid walks into my security office and actually has the nerve to make someone think they're tougher, stronger or more handsome than I am

<gasp> That bastard! Should we start waterboarding him immediately or wait until after breakfast tomorrow?

I still can't believe that you of all people don't have have definite intel on the state of her virginity, though. Figured you'd have had spies all over her school, maybe even someone undercover breaking into her inner circle...

<eyes him>

<looks away coyly>

Okay, okay, but really, you've got to keep this totally between us. Of course I know she's a virgin! I've got that school wired as much as I've got the UP Council Chambers wired. I even got some nerds to vote for me for Prom King and I'm not even a student!

But that's all besides the point.

<holds up hand>

I know what you're going to ask next. Yes, Lolita has been hanging out with her and she will be at this Prom too. And no, we haven't spoken since the day you were sworn in.

Well, we gotta get to the bottom of this thing somehow. Gotta put someone on this Sam Dickhead and make sure eyes are on him at all times. Those two can't be alone at any time, so he can't pull any funny business on her.

If this guy's got Abin, Bart and the other Quanks fooled, though, we're gonna have to be prepared to deal with them. They're gonna say, "she's acting all girly because she's a flippin teenager, dumbass! It was about to happen sooner or later!" We're gonna have to be real subtle about it all. If not Lolita, do you have someone on the inside or not?!?

Yeah, I do. Not only does one of teacher's think we're dating, I've got an actual spy working there right now. I have reason to believe events will culminate at the Legion World Prom. That's when we'll have to have our agents on the highest alert.

I'm already going as an escort of the art teacher, Ms. Bella.

Good, good...we'll need someone specifically on this Sam Deathface character, too. I will, of course, find some excuse to get into that prom as well. Maybe I should wear that villain costume I used to wear to get you out of--nah, scratch that. I'll figure out something better! Make sure Gladys poses as the disco ball, and get as many other senior Officers inserted as well.

I think I'll go in my office and brainstorm a few things. Anything else before I go?

<the two converse for another moment then part ways, Lardy going to his Office>

Whoo--Dusty in here!

<dusts off his computer and boots it up>

Lessee...good ol' Security Office status allowing access to the prom planning! What can we do to secure this prom....

Candle peeks through the slightly open front door before she saunters in.

'Just passing through, guys.
Don't mind me or my friend here.'



She checks her mail cubby.
'A prom, huh?'

'Let me know if you want some help with that, guys.'
And she follows her friend back out the door.

well...i'll have the fire men and police set up at the gymnasium the prom's going to be held at.

and i'm not even precognitive.

Cobie...do you need me undercover again for this whole thing? Remember, I can be anyone. And maybe I already am...

<Walks into the foyer outside of Cobalt Kid's Office & Hands the Intern Lass Triplet on duty a folded note.>

Give that to Cobalt the second he arrives. Go ahead and read it, you won't remember what it says the instant your eyes leave the paper.

Cobalt,

If we didn't share such a long history I might take offense at your vastly overprotective actions reguarding my granddaughter. However I know you and I know you mean well dispite your rather Stalinesque methods.

But, I become uncomfortable when you involve people I don't know {Dev-Em} or fully trust {Lard Lad}. Please stop your monitoring of Brit's personal life. I trust the Pureheart boy implicitly, and you know me well enough to know what it takes to earn my trust.

This note will self distruct 10 seconds after you finish reading it.

Our friendship will self distruct the instant I find you monitoring Brit's personal life again.

You don't want that, Legion World doesn't need that.

Love,

Pagy

P.S. Be a nice boy and maybe I'll slip out of the Prom and do a turn or two on the pole in Ballroom D.

Pagen Lass. Before you leave, I'd liek to say something.

I've been around the LMBP since the beginning. I was part of their initial membership drive, and rounded out the first 25 members. There have been times that I have been away for a variety of reasone...some deep cover work (as I am half Durlan) and some heavy duty reconstruction work on my private planetoid (half Daxamite, so the heavy lifting is really heavy.)

Trust me when I say that I feel your concern over your granddaughter. I am a father of two young kids, both with special powers of their own. I know how tough it can be to trust those that you are not familiar with, but believe me...I would do nothing to hurt anyone in your family.

My son is enamored with Space Ranger, and has already constructed a working toy replica of him. Don't ask me how a 2 year old builds those types of things, but he does. Ny daughter thinks EDG is great and looks up to her...do you think I would do anything to upset my daughter...let alone yours? She needs good role models, and face it...(looks over at Intern Lass(...not all the young ladies around here are the best role models.

I hope to gain your trust through all of this.

Dev Em

Well, Dev, if I may?

Nothing against you, your fine reputation does precede you, but I don't know you. Hopefully that will change.

But please understand, I will never be comfortable with Cobalt's decision to investigate my granddaughter's personal life and affairs based on the fact that he feels threatened by the young man's looks and charm.

Now, you claim to be a family man. Would you be comfortable with Cobalt making similar decisions about your daughter? And including Lard Lad in the process? Someone who's likely to grab some popcorn and lube while watching tapes of Brit and Sam?

And what gives Cobalt the right to do any of this in the first place? I believe he's doing what he thinks is right but his methods are just plain wrong.

As a Father, Dev, you should give some serious thought to what is happening here and why.

<in his office sometime after Dev and Pagan's talk>

WHAT?!?! I'm not on the security staff at the PROM?!?! This is an OUTRAGE! I'll...

Alert, Lard Lad! do you not sense--

What is it, Lardi? I--

<span style="font-size: 25px;">BLAM!</span>

<falls to the ground with a wound to the head>

While I understand Pagan's concerns, I will stick with my gut here. Lardy is the current LMB Leader so I felt obliged to have a dialogue with him on the matter. But while they all continue to view Everyday Girl as a little girl, they forget I don't see her that way. She's on my partners. And I started my career at her age; they've all forgotten what it's like to be a teenager and a superhero at the same time.

And while they might think this is some petty jealousy on my part, I know when I smell a real threat to Legion World.

<turns to Blok the pet Rock>

I'll do whatever it takes.

(man, I miss Lolita...taking to Blok? Really?)

And I'll have the Security Officer restriction removed for the Prom the night of; as Chief I'll need my crew if things get hairy...

Things will get hairy with you and Pagan if you try to get her to lift that restriction. She's not publicizing it but that restriction extends to everyone except Students, Chaperones, Staff, and the Band.

She's determined that these kids are going to have their Prom Nite free of interference.

This is beginning to feel like a bad slasher flick.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I wouldn't worry unless Blok answers you)

The door to the office opens and
followed by Candle.

'Sorry about him, but I'm kind of babysitting.'

She checks her cubby again for mail.
'Well, things must be busy around here! I'd better go back and find out what's goin' on since things seem to be more complicated that I original thought.'

She steers her charge gently from the room and closes the door.

<In Lardy's Office>

<Accepts a form from Lt. Hutch Starsky, head of L.W.S.O.C.S.I.>

So, The bullet came thru that window... You'd think with the number of times he's been attacked there's be bullet-proof glass in there.

Is Mr Cobalt or Space Ranger on their way here yet?

<Dev flies to the door of Lardy's office>

Sorry, got sidetracked with a side project.

<Looks around the room>

What the hel...sorry Everyday Girl. What happened here?

Furball comes up behind Dev Em and scans the area>

Rello Ms. Egirl.

<sniff sniff>
I smell romething odd.

<sniff sniff>
Burret rame through the rindow.

Go see if I can pick upp rumthing.

<Furball goes over to the window, studies it very carefully, and runs back out the door.>

<Dev looks back as he heads out the door as well.>

I'm going to follow him and make sure he doesn't run into anything that he can't handle. He's tough and strong as anything, but a little single minded when he gets like this. I'll check back in once we know something.

<hears gunshots as he's leaving the security office>

why do i hang out here again? oh look that cute puppy is running away...

better go get him and bring him back. i don't even think he's wearing tags.

<In Lardy's Office, EDG watches as the investigating team led by Lt Hutch Starsky puts the finishing touches on their investigation of the crime scene. In her hands she holds two small sealed packages, both marked evidence.>

Ohmygod I wish Gramps matlock wasn't off planet. I just like don't know what to make of this. Why would someone shoot Mr Lard Lad with a SILVER Bullet?

ATTENTION ALL SECURITY OFFICERS
FROM : COBALT KID, CHIEF OF SECURITY

Dev-Em has officially been given top priority status as a security officer for this office, working on behalf of Cobalt Kid. He is to be treated with the utmost respect, as he probably outranks you (and in fact, is of equal rank or superior to anyone other than Space Ranger, Matlock or myself).

Since he will be working on my behalf in the coming weeks on a mission of the extreme importance and high secrecy, he will have access to all files and records he would like to view as well as all venues and forums on Legion World.

If you have any questions, please leave a message with my assistants and I will respond to you in due course.

- Cobalt Kid
Chief of Security

<flies back at top speed>

Okay, Security Officers follow me. Everyone huddle around and move quickly and when I tell you to. We're on a Code Red Alert.

I want the full forensics report on where Lardy was shot. Get that to me ASAP.

Monitor all communications traffic on Legion World for the next 24 hours. The attacks seem to have ceased but we need to be on the scene immediately after another one happens.

<looks at all the young female interns; can't seem to find one he feels stands out as someone he can bang ideas back and forth with>

Girls, listen, I need a list of all events taking place on Legion World within the next few days. While I have a suspicion, I want to make sure there aren't any other events going on that might also explain these attacks.

Keep walking with me people. We've got work to do.

I guess I'm back to being chopped liver...

Serves me right for not quitting.

My! Don't you get all mad at me too. I was talking to the support staff, not you. You know I consider a full agent these days, on par with Shark Lad, Arachne and the rest. I didn't know if you were available right now.

I could use your help. Various security officers and LMBers are under attack.

You're so cute when you get flustered, Boss.

But sometimes I feel like you don't even see me when I'm right next to you...

Stupid fricking Cack Form...

Well, see or not, you smell great

Now let's brainstorm for a second. There are a few leads that we have here that could all be connected or stand out on their own.

#1 - The LMB Leader election is about to finish. That means momentarily, the LMB is in a state of chaotic flux right now.

#2 - Zardi is still on Legion World and has only recently been appearing again.

#3 - The Legion World Prom, which happens to coincide with a gathering of major delegates and ambassadors on Legion World. Don't ask me why I think the LW Prom is important--I have a gut feeling and I just think it is. I have my reasons and don't want to go into it.

You're going to the Prom, right?

Flatterer... :rolleyes:

Okay in reverse order, Yes, I'm Going to the Prom with Tony Broadneck.

Yeah, tell me about Zardi, it took me a month to find my way out of that maze the last time. But didn't Kent blast his top guy with that Chronal Whatsit? And Candle seems to be able to sniff out his agents and get rid of them. Plus, Zardi don't seem to like getting his own hands dirty, which means he's got one of his creatures down here if he's involved. Maybe you should have Pagan or Candle check people out.

And Third, when isn't this place in an uproar?

Tony Broadneck? Oh My Whee...you can do better than that.

<holds up hands to stop the potential onslaught before it happens>

Changing subjects a little, but trust me, it matters in the larger sense, do you think Everyday Girl is acting strangely lately? As her friend, have you noticed something?

<arrives via space cab>

<sarcastically> Thanks for the ride, guys...

Lardy! Hm, without you porting from place to place, we'll have to consider one of us grabbing you for a fly.

<hand on shoulder>

Don't worry Lardy. You've lost your powers before and got them back. I believe they'll come back.

<shakes head> I dunno, Des...last time I knew who took them and...well, you know how that turned out. This time feels different.

I think my days as a superhero may very well be over. I...I need to get out of this hospital gown and change into something more appropriate.

<leaves room>

What's wrong with Tony? I like him...

Crap on a Stick! Boss, you're about as subtle as a punch in the nose.

Jeebus, Just because Brit's a "late bloomer" when it comes to guys.

Look, Brit's fine, and Sam is a Great Guy! A little weird sometimes but this is Legion World.

Ah, so you do admit he's weird. Look, the last thing I want to do is have to explain to yet another person my reasons, but I think Sam Pureheart is no good.

Tony Broadneck, however, is kind of likeable. I'm just saying you're a beautiful, intelligent and courageous girl, My Whee. You can do better than the class jock. But forget about all that.

In my opinion, Everyday Girl is acting very weirdly lately. Sure, she's acting really girly and its Prom. I get that part. But this girl was raised by superheroes and wizards. She comes from a line of viking heroes. And she's had to deal with my off-color comments about women since she was about 13. She shouldn't be acting *this* girly and franky, unstable. As her friend, I advise you (as your friend) to keep an eye on it.

But now we're back to square one with just about no leads. I hate sitting around and waiting for something to happen.

<re-enters>

Hey, I'm back. Officer Taylor of the Security Office reporting for duty.

Any leads on the attempt on my life?

Boss, all of Legion World knows you don't like Sam. Jeebus, I think it was on LW TMZ this morning, "Tempers Flare over the Heiress to the Quank Fortune" or some nonsense like that.

Supposedly you and Sam had a stare down over Brit.

Look, last week Sam and Tony were the greatest thing since Hydrogen Scoop Ram-Jets and this week they're dirt.

What's the only thing different?

Look, he makes me feel a little weird when he does that lick his lips thing, but it's not a crime.

And he really does treat Brit like a princess.

Yeah well, when a guy treats a girl like a Princess, its usually because he's no good. Trust me on that. When a guy argues with you constantly, that's when he likes you.

I like the Quank heiress news story though. That's funny--I need to keep a bigger eye of all the times my name appears in the tabloids.

<looks at Lardy; surprised for a minute but takes it in stride>

Lardy, we're trying to figure out where to go next from here. Other than forensic evidence, which we're waiting for, and the silver bullet, there isn't much more we can go on. While I'd love to tie this into some of the major events on Legion World, which makes sense, there's no real proof of that. Nonetheless, I'm redoubling all security on the election and the LW Prom (which coincides with some other events).

Well, on the cab ride over here <smirks>, I had a chance to think about the attack some. Let me share a few thoughts with y'all...

First of all, we have to consider whether this is related to Zardi or your suspicions over Sam Purecrap. Or both. Or neither.

If Zardi was behind my attack, it's possible that his real target was Lardi, not me. I originally got Luna to bring out that persona exactly because we needed some intel on Zardi and to have a secret weapon to use against him. Almost as soon as Lardi comes on the scene, Zardi disappears for awhile. Shortly after Zardi finally returns, the assassination attempt happens, and Lardi's now out of the picture.

If Sam has something to do with this, it's important to note that when the attack happened, I was researching the security detail on the prom site. If he's as big a threat as we think, he might've been trying to stop me from finding something.

And, yes, there's a possibility that Zardi and Sam are in cahoots and that would give motive to get rid of both myself and Lardi.

Otherwise, the scary thing is that no one on Legion World has more enemies than me, except, perhaps yourself, Des. If there's someone else taking advantage of all this chaos to take me out, it's far from beyond the realm of possibility. In fact they have succeeded in a way because I'm effectively not a threat anymore...just...just another Security Officer, now.

The only thing I have to add otherwise is that the gunshot I heard sound an awful lot like one of Britney's rounds. I'm not saying she did it, and if she did, she was likely under someone's mental control. But I've heard those rounds fired enough times to recognize them.

Has anyone checked to see if she has an alibi?

<eyes My Whee Fem after that question>

<finally speaks up>

No. There is no alibi for Everyday Girl at this time. And we do not know where her current whereabouts are either. I suspect, however, when we do finally talk to her, she'll have some insight to add to this equation.

<looks at omnicom>

Still nothing from Dev-Em. Damn. I was hoping he'd have found something.

We've also got to consider that someone was able to bypass my Lard Force senses. I don't have any weakness to silver, so there's more to it than that. Best guess is that magic was involved.

Ohmygod! I like don't know why I'd need an alibi.

But my current whereabouts are... Right frickin' here!

<Tosses two evidence packages and a thick report onto Cobalt's Desk>

There's the CSI report from Lard Lad's office,

<Turns and looks at Officer Taylor>

You're looking a lot better than you were the last time I saw you. Did you thank the EMT and Crew that broke every Legion World Speed Record Hauling your near dead ass to Medicus Two?

Now what was it I needed an alibi for?

We just want to know where you were when Lardy was shot, Brit. And before you start yelling and screaming again like the last time we saw each other its because the gunshots sounded just like your infamous pistols.

And since you're the best expert in firearms I know, I'd like: first, where you were; second, could anyone have gotten access to your weaponry and third, does anyone else have the know how in getting replicas of your hardware.

Oh and before you ask, yes that silver bullet is a 9mm round, made by Tamper lad, to the Specs I gave him.

The ballistics report will show it wasn't fired by my weapons, but I've turned them over to Lt Starsky anyway. They're locked up in the Special Handling Locker. The reason I'm so late is I had to go home and get them, if you'll remember I was ready to quit when I came in earlier and mad enough that I decided not to carry.

Thanks Brit.

<thumbs through report>

And for the record, I'm glad you didn't quit.

You all keep brainstorming. I'm going to take this and digest it all and see what else I can come up with.

As of right now, the Security Office is in crisis mode. So unless its Prom Night, we're all working around the clock.

(And even then...)

I'll go to my Office and...right, crime scene. I'll go to the lounge for a while.

<enters lounge and sees it's empty>

<opens his locker and brings out a long-untouched bottle of bourbon>

Ah. Hello, old friend.

<Waits until Officer Taylor is out of the room, then grabs Cobie and keeps talking.>

To answer your other questions, I was at the Main Monitor Panel in the lobby of the Admin building when the shot or shots were fired, Andy Voltron and his crew were with me, trying to figure out why the building had dropped off the grid and come back on twice in a 30 milisecond timeframe a few minutes before.

As for the sound, it sounded like one of mine because it was one of mine, or at least made to my specs, by Tamper, who I'm going to have a little talk with as soon as we're done here.

And there are several gun collectors on LW. and a few hundred replica copies of the Barretta 9mm SLK Pistol. None modified the way mine are but that really doesn't matter.

<Dev lands and walks into the office.>

Okay, got word that Furball is okay, but still unconscious.

Cobie, I'll explain things about him later. I didn't think things would go this bad, but with the various injuries he's had lately...hell, it was bound to happen sooner or later. He'll be alright, just trust me on that. Let's figure this out, then we'll sit down and talk.

I found nothing out of the ordinary that could have done that to him. I'm nowhere near as acute with my senses as he is, but even my vision couldn't pick up trace evidence anywhere.

I passed Space Ranger and told him something was going on here. I noticed that you guys were starting to all arrive here, so I thought we should check in.

Space Ranger was right behind me, he should be here any second.

I'll be back as soon as I can, I need to get the families of all the candidates out of sight.

Has anyone seen Ram or Deddy?

<back in the lounge>

<smashes bottle>

NO! Not goin' there!

I am NOT gonna repeat the mistakes I've made in the past and bury myself in self-pity!

If I'm destined to be a cop and not a superhero/supercop, then so be it! I'll be the BEST FUCKIN' COP I can be!!!

And it's past time I stop isolating myself from Rocky!

<leaves lounge>

<leans against side of desk, with piping hot cup of coffee by his side; opens up manila folders>

The report was pretty basic. Had some good information but nothing that really gives us any leads...

<first evidence folder contains silver bullet, delicately wrapped with care; Cobalt throws it onto desktop>

Okay, the silver bullet. Created by Tamper Lad for Everyday Girl. So we know someone has either been hitting up EDG's stash or Tamper Lad created replicas of the weaponry he's publicly given Brit in the past.

<opens up second folder; at first its contents seem rather run of the mill for case files; suddenly he stops>

Ah. Now that is interesting...

<picks up forensics report and reads more closely>

Over ten million species of poisonous snake in the galaxy--some that can travel through space and create galactic empires. And here we are, with traces of some sort of snake poison on the bullet. But it doesn’t match any of those enormous catalogues of species the UP has.



Unless it isn’t snake poison. Because it would have to come from someone’s hands…

<looks at rest of evidence package>

Well done, Brittney…there’s more than a few clues here…

<looks at material found from where the shooter was believed to have been; at first glance it looks like common trash>

Of course, it could be common pieces of trash around the building ledge. But in the 31st Century, on Legion World? I hope not. A scrap of magazine casually tossed on the ledge just wouldn’t fly with Legion World’s founders.

<examines magazine scrap; its an add for mild heat vision contacts which are all the rage in the back of magazines these days>

A common magazine ad, appearing in scores of different publications. Yet, there are only a limited number of places you can get paper magazines these days on Legion World since most take their news over the omni-com.

<sniffs it; seems to recognize something>

Silly Dark Oval publications, smelling like Dominator plant-machinery! And there is only one place you can get “The Dark Oval Current”, as I well know!

Caffeine!

The front door cracks open, a darkness fills the room in moments and anyone left in the reception room stops abruptly and blinks their eyes, very, very slowly.

A small figure glides through the door and flits across the room to an airduct on an inner wall.
Without hesitating, the tiny creature passes through the 'protective' screening and hides in the shaft.
With a whispered word, the front door closes silently and the darkness fades from the room.

Everyone starts moving again, continuing on with their conversations and activities, unaware of the lost moments and the silently listening intruder.

Well team, since our last struggle with Phineas B. Fuddle, Space Ranger and I have come back to the Office of Security and I feel all of us have done a great job. Working in conjunction first with LardLad and now with Ram Boy, we've cleaned up Legion World and solved several long-standing problems. Gangs are at an all-time low with more youths involved in volunteerism, and the community is as vibrant as ever.

It's with this sense of accomplishment, I'm pleased to announce my retirement as Chief of Security--this time my real one. I want to go out now while times are good and there are no crisis looming, less I be stuck here forever.

It's been a good run and we've saved Legion World too many times to mention. I hope many of you will continue to serve and those who don't, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

As for me, I plan to focus on the Space Knights Templar which I am co-founder with Eryk Davis Ester, as well as various other businesses and projects I've neglected over the years, including renewing my interest in Legion World's scientific community.

I will always be here to defend Legion World as a member of the LMB and as one of your favorite heroes, I won't let you down.

It's been quite a ride since 3003--thanks for all the long years of support.



Cobalt Kid resigns as Chief of Security and the Office of Security, effective June 10, 3010.

cheers, boss!

Maybe we can finally take that long weekend away that you've been promising me, Cobie. With your job here at the Office of Security and my duties as Psyonia's representative in the Legion World Senate keeping us so busy, it's like we never see each other lately

Hopefully that can change! Legion World has missed you, but no one more than me!

What do you say we give the ol' office one last go round?

Cobalt! ...Oops... Sorry

Hello Princess... Umm... Long Time No See?

I'll Ummm... be back in a minute...


Truth and Justice Shall Prevail!
(Poppin' Hotties! No Silicone in those Super-Puppies... of Space!)