Snatch: I'd rather not teleport inside mansions anymore.
Greg: We've got to, Yolonda.
Trash Lass: Where are we going? This is TOO weird...
Panel 2
Greg: Weird? Hells yeah. And we're going to see my old buddy-- what's left of him anyway.
Snatch: He's mostly bionic now.
Panel 3
*materializing inside mansion*
Greg: Uh oh!
Panel 4
*Greg, Snatch and TL are surrounded by female soldiers; readers will recognize them in the same garb as the soldiers who captured Josie Pickles previously*
Soldier: State your business, Snatch!
Snatch: We're here to see Noah.
Panel 5
Soldier: Knowitall sees NO ONE without--
off-panel speaker: ENOUGH, Schante.
Panel 6
*Knowitall (the former Homeboy) is revealed*
Knowitall: Gregory. Long time, man. I assume you're here about your little problem earlier?
Greg: With Hannah? YES!
Panel 7
Knowitall: Hannah? Oh. Get out. Yolanda, next time you enter unannounced, you will be treated as any enemy.
Soldier: I was sure they were here about your capture.
Knowitall: I was too. They know nothing of it. And if they somehow DO manage to take down GoodBad Girl, we can simply dispose of the capture. This could all work out nicely.
Panel 5
*Soldier pulls back curtain, revealing Josie Pickles submeged in some kind of liquid-filled coma-tube*
caption: back with the Gangsters and Real Bad Ass Girl Evildoers...
She-He: Well, Henpecker... it's nice to have you with me rather than against me...
Henpecker: BCAW!
She-He: ...I think.
Panel 2
She-He: But our days are numbered... the pus-guy, the rat-guy, my boss guy and the pink-haired chick are totally advancing on us... it all reminds me of my origin...
Panel 3
*smoky flashback panel; a little boy, slightly pudgy, about 9-10ish, wearing his mother's oversized shoes and her dress; A Lady's legs can be seen standing to the side*
Legs lady: Good LORD, child, take that off fore your Daddy gets home and has a heart attack!
Panel 4
*back to present*
She-He: My origin sucks!
Henpecker: BCAW!
Panel 5
Greg: Pustule, subdue Henpecker!
*Pustule 'splortching' Henpecker*
Bad Girl: What is this now, love?
Panel 6
Greg: Switch the drag queen, baby. Trash Lass is coming...
This blonde-haired, brown-eyed dreamboat is smarter than your principal and cuter than your boyfriend! He's the guy who turns IQ into I-CUTE!
Credited with rounding up his posse after he sailed through high-school at age 13 but wasn't quite ready for college life, Homeboy is no doubt the richest teenager in Memphis. His patents have fetched him millions with which he and his Homies use in their fight to make Memphis a better, brighter place! (photo)
DOUBLEDARE
Homeboy's best friend and just as much a cutie-patootie, Doubledare gives you TWO hotties for the price of one! Double your pleasure, indeed! The rumour mill says that Doubledare is one of those "omegas" you've been hearing about... someone born with weird powers beyond mortal ken! AND mortal Barbie!
Those rumours suggest that Doubledare was actually supposed to be twins. Well, you know what we here at the Groupie say about the rumour mill: It's TRUE, it's DAMN true! (photo)
THE SNATCH
There's no doubt this one is an "omega"... many eyewitnesses have viewed The Snatch's ability to make the Homies appear in a magical flash of light. She's reportedly on a first-name basis with the cops down at 201 (that's 201 Poplar-- the jailhouse to the more innocent of our readers!), where she has "flashed in" several times with the unconscious criminals the Homies have apprehended!
One drawback: she can't "flash in (or out) without traveling with her 'victim'. Another drawback: she's reaLLLLY pretty. And those glowing eyes seem to light up whenever she's around Homeboy. Don't fall for her, Homeboy! Sure, she may give the story that she calls herself the Snatch because of her "grab and go" specialty powers, but we here at the Groupie think she's just trying to be provocative! (photo)
FREAKSMASHER
He's super-freaky! The fun-loving member of the Homies who is funnier than the class clown, he's also the muscle of the team!
His "omega"-ability to change his shape usually involves making himself look like a weirdly-proportioned mack truck on steroids, but we here at the Groupie can't help but wonder if he could just as easily change his shape to look like our favorite movie stars. Wow... the mind reels... (photo)
GOODBAD GIRL
Sure, the pink hair is a bit strange and clashes with the red she's so fond of wearing, but GoodBad girl can be forgiven since she's the youngest member of the Homies.
She's pretty much an engima as no one has ever seen her actually DO anything, but our old pals at the rumour mill suggest she has an invisible "omega" ability. They say she can mentally "switch" a person's primary character. In easy-to-read terms: If you're primarily a bad guy, she can make you a GOOD guy... at least long enough for one of the others to konk you on the head and citizens-arrest you. One thing that isn't such as enigma: her obvious adoration of Doubledare. It's evident in every photo of the team I've ever seen! (photo)
There you have it! Now you know as much as we do!
NEXT: The knuckle-gnashing, ass-bashing, face-slashing,trash lashing conclusion! MISS IT NOT!!!
*splash page with Trash Lass, Greg Pegues and the Snatch, in teleportation-transit*
pink caption: I was just a girl. Inventive, atheletic, wanting to do something good, something... different. Maybe I remembered the adventures of Memphis' costumed teens when I was a little girl... maybe that was part of the reason years later I made this costume and took the name... TRASH LASS, girl garbage collector.
I guess I thought I was real clever, using my day job as a garbagewoman to clue me in on possible criminal activity I could deal with at night after donning the costume.
I guess I never thought that those former costumed teens would now be adults, and here I am caught in a gang-war between them. I put on the costume and drew their attention. And now everything I know... might be coming to an end.
I mean, I'm just a girl... and these people are "Omegas"... the END of evolution... people with super-powers...! What am I DOING here...?
The Snatch: Prepare yourselves...
Greg Pegues: Remember the plan!
pink caption: The plan...? Oh yeah... I'm just a girl.... who kicks ass.
*splash page featuring Savage She-He, Bad Girl and Greg Pegues' second body*
lavender caption: I was just a girl... Well, okay, actually, just a boy if you want to get picky about it... and doesn't EVERYbody wanna get picky about it...
Fine then. Just a BOY. With a talent and a desire to fix myself up like a girl. And when I did, WHOA how things... changed.
As a girl, I could... DO stuff. Stuff I couldn't do as a boy. Stuff like run really REALLY fast no matter how high the heels... acrobatic stuff like you see the gymnasts do on the Olympics, despite the fact I was as big as any 4 of them... and the strength I got...!
I even gained a little fame as a protector of my less-fortunate sisters... there's always some scumbag looking to hassle a tranny...
And then came Trash Lass... cute as a button and sweet as pie... and a little in over her head at times... so I made it the business of The Savage She-He to keep an eye on her.
And girl... or boy-- did THAT ever go wronger than tranny touch-football!
Greg: Have you switched her yet?
Bad Girl: Well, I'm going to switch Trash Lass as well, but a little blood sport first could be fun... DONE. He... She's switched.
*large panel, her mouth is wide open as if to bite, looking totally evil*
red caption: Just a girl was I... so long ago... I stayed a girl for years... until the disease, the plague took its toll at last...
And then I found myself in the body of the rich lady who was walking by as I died unnoticed on the street... Oh, how I made use of that body, for decades!
But I grew careless, and these... children found their way into my home!
Panel 2
*Bad Girl bites Snatch's neck*
Snatch: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Panel 3
Bad Girl: *now all bloody* Hannah did not survive that night, Snatch... she became the new home for... JUNEBUG!
Bad Girl/Junebug: And a lovely home she's been, too! Complete with these exquisite mental powers, powers that could get most anyone to see things MY way!
Panel 2
*Trash Lass and She-He face off*
pink caption: She-He hasn't made a move... almost as if he doesn't WANT to...
Panel 3
*She-He lunges at Trash Lass*
pink caption: Well, so much for THAT theory...
Panel 4
*TL sidesteps She-He's leap, elbowing her head*
pink caption: Someone who makes love into hate-- friends into enemies, against their wills-- it's APALLING!
Panel 5
*a kick from TL to She-He's face*
pink caption: These omegas... they're a hazard! I didn't know how bad it was!
balloon toward Junebug/Bad Girl's off-panel face: uh uh UH, Trash Lass. You should relax a moment and enjoy my villainous exposition!
Panel 4
Trash Lass: Why? To give your boyfriends a chance to gang up on me? To give Snatch time to bleed to death? To give rat-smasher time to kill Henpecker? You are one TWISTED piece of...
Junebug: It's fine if you don't want to hear about how inhabiting a new body blends my feelings with theirs... Oh yes, that's why the obsession with the former Doubledare... Or how I got one of them the job with Sanitation to lessen the chance of them rejoining... for some reason, their rejoining into one makes them harder to keep switched...
Panel 2
Junebug: *getting nearer to 'camera'* And I'm sure it would bore you to hear how I punished Freaksmasher's assault on my previous form by forcing him to take that Vermin persona for years...
Panel 3
Junebug: *now in TL's face* But I figured you would want to know how YOUR presence brought all this to a head, Trash Lass.
Trash Lass: Me? Why?
Panel 4
Junebug: What were you? The beginning of a new wave of heroes to descend upon my city? Well, I certainly couldn't have THAT. Hannah might have enjoyed it, but MY personality is always the dominant one. And MY personality... just despises you heroes... but REVELS in using the good/bad powers to SWITCH them.
Trash Lass: So I've noticed.
Panel 5
Junebug: So now you're mine at last, leaving-- STILL-- only Noah, the Homeboy himself as the only hero who has eluded me. Trash Lass, you are now... SWITCHED.
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