posted
Howdy! I haven't seen a tag team writing thread in awhile, so I thought I would try to start one. The more authors, the better. Off we go, let the silliness ensue...
Lancesrealm sat alone in a dank basement. (Is there any other kind?) He had been playing solitaire for hours. The deck was missing 3 cards, but Lance was a notorious cheater, and had won every game. So far, he was 20 bucks ahead. Lance took a long pull from the half-empty bottle of vodka, and then played a quick round of gaseous emissions.
Suddenly, the basement door opened and Lance shielded his eyes from the (not-so) blinding light. In walked...
From: Cincinnati | Registered: Jul 2003
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...Charlie Sheen. He'd heard there was a party going on, and he never misses a party.
He mixed up a batch of tiger blood and vodka and sat down with Lance when suddenly...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...Lance became infected with Charlie's warlock Adonis DNA and became SuperLance. Realizing he was made for bigger things, SuperLance...
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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checked out how much bigger his penis had gotten. SuperLance shook his hips, inadvertantly knocking over the bottle of vodka. Sheen caught the bottle before it hit the floor, since his super-power is never to let alcohol go to waste.
SuperLance wondered if Sheen would be jealous, since there were now 2 giant pricks in the room.
"I'll be right back, Charlie. I need to..."
From: Cincinnati | Registered: Jul 2003
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...save the planet from a giant asteroid! Now that he was Super, Lance had grown much more ambitious. Sensing his fame was on the verge of ending, Charlie joined him.
The two hitch-hikes over to the local space shuttle as a truckdriver picked them up. Once they got inside the truck, Lance was shocked to see the driver was none other than...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Rickshaw, who was online trying to up his post-count some more.
Rick looked up and said, "Grab a seat - it's gonna be a bumpy ride. By the way, I'm Rickshaw."
Charlie Sheen's eyes widened. "I don't wanna go into space in a Rickshaw." Charlie then crawled into the bottle of vodka, which was another of his super-powers.
SuperLance took a seat. "I'm Lance. Nice to meet you Rick."
Rick glanced at Lance's pants. Funny. I woulda guessed Dick, but oh well, off we go. Um...where are we going?"
posted
...the asteroid, now appearing much smaller, landed in a nearby field. Rick pulled his truck to the side of the road. Carrying Charlie in the Grey Goose bottle, SuperLance walked toward the asteroid with Rick behind him. The grass around it caught fire. SuperLance blew out the flames with his super-breath. The trio approached the asteroid, to discover it was not an asteroid at all, but...
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
The trio approached the asteroid, to discover it was not an asteroid at all, but...a giant ball of dragon poop.
Rickshaw's eyes widened as he stomped out a patch of flaming grass.
"Be careful not to get any on your shoes," SuperLance cautioned. "That's an old dragon prank."
"I could understand why it is steaming," said Rick, "but why was it on fire?"
"Are you sure dragonfire only comes out from the front?" retorted SuperLance.
"Um...good point", muttered Rick, as he tried to wipe some dragoncrap off his shoes.
"Ooohhhh....." came a soft moan from with the giant steaming pile of dragondung.
SuperLance and Rick stared at each other in disbelief as a figure crawled out of the ball of dung. As the mysterious figure wiped itself off as best it could, SuperLance and Rick realized the poop-coated figure was none other than...
From: Cincinnati | Registered: Jul 2003
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...Black Adam who had someone's skull in his hands.
-------------------- Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
From: Illinois | Registered: Jun 2010
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SuperLance watched Black Adam execute a super-spin to clean himself off, which spread fertilizer over the surrounding area, not to mention SuperLance and Rickshaw.
"Well, crap," mumbled Rick, as he wiped off his face.
"You have a talent for understatement," replied SuperLance. "What do you figure he's been up to?"
"Looks like he's rehearsing for Hamlet," said Rick.
"Well, maybe the whole cast got eaten by a dragon. I sure hope it didn't give him ultra powers or anything. Oh, wait he already has super-powers..."
Just then, Black Adam noticed Rick and SuperLance.
Infuriated that Black Adam, who he had digested just prior to this tag team starting, had survived and passed 100% through his bowels, the dragon was ready for a reckoning!
"BOHICA*" said the skull, who apparently said more than just ominous phrases. "I'm Yorrick Lad, and unfortunately, I didn't know you all that well..." he added, expecting them to be consumed by the dragon.
"Not so fast!" said a voice, as Cobalt Kid arrived on the scene! “I might be here to party with Charlie Sheen, but I brought another LMBer that’s going to kick some dragon ass! It’s none other than…”
*BOHICA = Bend over, here it comes again...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"Not so fast!" said a voice, as Cobalt Kid arrived on the scene! “I might be here to party with Charlie Sheen, but I brought another LMBer that’s going to kick some dragon ass! It’s none other than my newest drinking buddy, Chief O'Hara of Gotham City!”
"Saints be praised!" said Chief O'Hara. "That's one mighty big dragon!"
Rick and SuperLance looked at each other, a bit puzzled, as they didn't remember Chieef O'Hara being in the LMB, but, what the hell.
"If you don't mind my sayin', sirs, don't you think this is an occassion on which we best be usin' the red phone..."
Chief O'Hara pulled out a red phone with a single button on it, and offered it to SuperLance, who pressed the button. The phone lit up, and then, a voice answered on the other end. It was...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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...Red Arrow who had just finished punching out some drug-pushers. She answered, "Chief O'Hara I found the location of the drug lord Tyrian! Did we get that warrant yet?"
-------------------- Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
From: Illinois | Registered: Jun 2010
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Unfortunately, at that moment, both the dragon and Black Adam got their mad on again, and then smashed into each other again.
Adam punched and kicked while the dragon flamed and bit and clawed.
SuperLance and Rickshaw, both being smart asses, looked at each other, reached into their back pockets, and pulled out microwave popcorn bags.
"Got'ne Pepsi, SL?"
"Nope, but I do happen to have a bottle of schnapps absinthe."
"Uh, didn't know they had that..."
"Yeah, but it makes you hallucinate that you dance in the Rockette's line."
"hnnn. Well'p, the kick pretty good i hear. Might come in handy. Break it out SL."
"Sure, bu.... look out!" At that moment, Black Adam came flying past to smash into the ground with a very ticked off and angry dragon charging at them. Being the very cool cats that they are, SL and Rickshaw simply stepped apart as the dragon charged between them. It was at that moment that....
-------------------- Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
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