posted
Zen Boy, with the power of super-philosophy. The Human Douchebag cried out "We have saved the best for last! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!!" Accompanied by rolling fog and a kick-ass theme song, from the porta-potty came...
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
Accompanied by rolling fog and a kick-ass theme song, from the porta-potty came The Carpetbagger, who immediately began his campaign for local political office, despite being a stranger to the area!
Of course, there was also Captain Blacklight, who at this very moment was elsewhere, with...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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SuperLance looked at Rick and said, "Wow...we're only on page 3 and the cast already has more people than Cobie's bedroom on a Saturday night."
"Hey!" yelled Cobalt Kid unsure whether he should be offended or flattered.
"Welp," Rick said, "this oughta help thin out the herd." Rick pulled a cigar out of his pocket and bit off the end. He took the vodka bottle and gave it a vigorous shake, thoroughly irritating the dragon trapped inside. A jet of flame 3 feet long shot from the opening of the bottle. Rick leaned in, lighting his cigar in the jet of flame.
Rick winked at SuperLance. "Pretty cool, huh?" As the stench of Rick's cigar became more and more pungent, almost everyone decided they needed to be somewhere else.
posted
Kid Zoom said, "It was nice chatting with you all, but the Sivana's are throwing a party. Red Arrow, you can call me anytime. Especially if an actual fight happens." He then ran all the way to Fawcett City.
Red Arrow took out a vial of perfume and used it to help get rid of the odor. She said, "Somebody please tell me we have a plan?" ~~~~ Flashend used his powers to put a dome of darkness around the Blackout Brigade, which blocked the majority of the flame. He said, "Somebody please tell me we have a plan?"
-------------------- Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
From: Illinois | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
Of course, there was also Captain Blacklight, who at this very moment was elsewhere, with...a mysterious cloaked figure whose face was covered in shadow!
"The pieces are in place," said the figure, "and the board will soon be ours!" You see, everything this person said was an allegorical chess reference--the staple of a true evil mastermind!
Meanwhile...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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First of all, I would like to thank everyone for posting in this crazy thread!
Second, here is the current cast (hope this helps):
on site:
Lance Charlie Sheen Rick Dragon (in bottle) Yorrick Lad Chief O'Hara Red Arrow Space Tart Cobalt Kid
villains?
Porta-John - teleports Twisted Freak - male, meth head Dominant Damsel Flashend - commands vast power of darkness John Rocker, the Human Douchebag Zen Boy - super philosophy The Carpetbagger
elsewhere:
Black Adam possible Black Adam impostor? Kid Zoom Captain Blacklight mysterious cloaked figure (speaks in chess references)
Third, a big tip of the hat to Cobie for the chess reference thing. I had no idea what octopi would have to do with this thread when I started it, but since an octopus has 8 tentacles, and a chessboard is an 8x8 grid, the potential certainly exists for a (quasi-rational) explanation.
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"A party!?" Charlie Sheen said. "A party!" echoed Chief O'Hara. "We'd better...um..investigate!" Charlie and Chief O'Hara trotted off after Kid Zoom.
Space Tart said, "I have a plan!" With that, she rubbed some dragon poop under her nose to help kill the odor of Red Arrow's perfume. "What hardware store did you buy that at?"
"You're just jealous cause she has a better costume," interjected Rick. "She fills it out better too," he mumbled, getting a little incoherent because of the Schnaaps that he and SuperLance were passing back and forth.
"She does not!" exclaimed Space Tart, alternately glaring at Rick and Red Arrow to see if it was true.
"What are we going to do about those guys?" queried SuperLance, pointing at the dome of darkness.
"I'll handle this," replied Rick. "Hey! Guys!" Rick yelled into the dome of darkness. "You were following Kid Zoom. He went thataway!"
Lance whispered, "You do know Kid Zoom actually ran in the opposite direction, doncha? Besides, I don't think they can see which way you are pointing."
Rick mumbled, "Who cares," as he took another swig and began kicking like a Rockette.
From: Cincinnati | Registered: Jul 2003
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As Rick was a'kickin', the real Black Adam returned (on page 3 as promised--go back and look if ya don't believe me--it's okay, I'll wait--whistles theme song to Jeopardy--you back? Satisfied? Okay, let's continue, shall we?).
"How are you today, good sir?" Adam said to Space Tart. (Apparently, he mistook the dragon poop she had under her nose for a moustache. Plus, well, maybe this helps back up the argument that Spacey's not as full-figured as Red Arrow, eh? )
Just then, Spacey decided to kick this narrator in the nuts for some reason. What?!? In the nuts?!? But I--no Spacey, don't!!!!!
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
For what it's worth, the narrator of the previous post got off rather easy. I would fully have expected that Space Tart would have pulled an aircraft carrier out of his ass or something.
Anyway, this seems like a good time to segue into something happening elsewhere. Er... howabout... um... Pluto?
Meanwhile, on Pluto...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...Captain Blacklight and the Black Adam Impostor were trying to stay warm while the mysterious cloaked figure stated "And in the Eighth Square we shall be Queens together, and it's all feasting and fun!"
Blacklight asked "Does that mean he's gay?"
"No," answered a voice. "He's quoting Through the Looking-Glass. It's a reference to Alice being a pawn in the chess game."
They looked up to see SuperLance.
"How did you get here so fast?" Blacklight asked.
"I'm SuperLance!" he smiled. "That must be how I knew that Alice reference, too. Now, if you don't mind, I think it's time we all rejoin the party." He grabbed them all and in an instant they rejoined the others, which is good, because Charlie and Chief O'Hara had just...
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
...got thrown out of the party by some Crocodile-Men bodyguards. They said, "Time to take alittle trip." The Crocodile-Men brought them towards a Multiverse Transportation Device (it's the Sivana family, they make stuff) and sent them to Earth-5, a PG rated universe. "Have fun talking to Emily's doppleganger! She's evil and incredibly sexy in that universe!" One of the Crocodile-Men said. ~~~ Red Arrow said, "The Sivanas don't mess around. We have death-rays."
-------------------- Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
From: Illinois | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
SuperLance arrived on the scene carrying Captain BlackLight, the Black Adam impostor, and the mysterious cloaked figure.
Unfortunately, he set the MCF (mysterious cloaked figure) right in front of Rick, who was quite looped and kicking like a Rockette trying to score a field goal from 80 yards.
Yorrick lad finally got a good look at Black Adam and started to yell, "Keep him away from me! The last time he took me I got a close-up view of a dragon's large intestine!" Black Adam and the Black Adam impostor were staring at each other, trying to figure out if the other was a clone or an illusion or whatever. When Yorrick Lad saw 2 Black Adams, he was rendered speechless, which wasn't tough, since he hadn't said much anyway.
Captain BlackLight was staring at the dome of darkness. "Hey, how did they make that without me around?" he wondered aloud.
Cobalt Kid murmured, "Well, getting kinda dull around here. Time to liven things up." With that, he took the bottled dragon from Rick, and gave the bottle a high heave into the dome of darkness, where it landed with a crash and the sound of tinkling glass. "That oughta keep 'em busy."
"There went my cool new lighter," complained Rick, as he landed another kick on MCF.
Red Arrow looked smugly at Space Tart. "Wow, look at how much farther my boobs stick out when I do this. She pushed her chest out, getting admiring glances from all the males present. SuperLance's tights got even tighter, while Space Tart looked for something to stuff her outfit with.
Meanwhile, on Earth-5, Charlie Sheen screamed in despair. "A PG-rated universe!?? No drugs or boobs at all? NOOOOooooOOOooo!!!!!!"
From: Cincinnati | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
"I'll find SOME way to sex this place up!" Charlie screamed.
But suddenly, he realized something was off. He pulled down his pants, only to discover...he suddenly had Ken doll anatomy!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed.
Then, he tried to kill himself, but found out that was impossible in a PG universe.
"Yes, Charlie Sheen, you are now trapped forever in your very own personal Hell!" said his companion, who was not Chief O'Hara after all, but was actually.....
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...Captain Nazi! The villain said, "Follow me if you want to live." ~~~~ The Blackout Brigade decided to use the bottle-throw as an excuse to go for an all-out assault. Flashend's dark aura surrounded him, enabling him to fly, and he began to create constructs that had a manga-art quality to them.
Red Arrow says, "So basically Green Lantern but black stuff." She began to fire some explosive arrows.
-------------------- Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
From: Illinois | Registered: Jun 2010
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