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» Legion World » LEGION OUTPOST » Bits o' Legionnaire Business » Critic's Corner (post here about any fanart or fanfic) (Page 60)

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Author Topic: Critic's Corner (post here about any fanart or fanfic)
Exnihil
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Emily and Ibby: Ho... ly... cow!


First off, I have to admit that, although I would occasionally pop in on your Raltvee story, because so many of the characters and locations were foreign to me (mostly being part of Emily's personal extended cosmology) it was a bit overwhelming to try to absorb it in bite sized chunks.

Once you announced over on Facebook that you had concluded it though, I figured I should start over again at the beginning and read it straight through. I am so glad I did.

I know you guys wrote this over a series of months, and it was really awesome to watch - just in this one story - how both of you were evolving in your styles over this time.


For me, the story seemed to take on three distinct phases: The intial sort of "travelogue"; the Tournament; and then the international intrigue section.

You both have a really keen ability (that I'm quite jealous of) to capture the sensory aspects of a scene. Your way of capturing the architecture, the cuisine - even the foliage - of this planet, was just outstanding. The initial section was so full of this sort of thing, that it really painted a very vivid picture. I was reminded a bit of some of the mid - 1950's Technicolor films, (like "The Man Who Knew Too Much" or "To Catch A Thief") where they would portray Americans in foreign locales like Morocco or the French Riviera as sort of overwhelmed by all the exotica.

The second section, the Tournament, I have to admit, was probably my least favorite of the three. I personally don't tend to enjoy fight scenes but - that being said - kudos to both of you for creating some really memorable characters in that section that absolutely need to make return appearances in other stories.

Finally, the "intrigue" section. My favorite. I mentioned "To Catch a Thief" earlier and that, of course, takes on a whole different meaning here. It was wonderful to see characters that I'm familiar with - Ibby, Emily, Q-Lad, and Blaze - suddenly thrust into this completely foreign backdrop and still be acting as the key protagonists toward its resolution. The blend of political intrigue, mystery, and straight out super-heroing was very well done.


Emily, I know Dev Em had mentioned to you that one of the great things about collaborative writing in the LMB-verse are the (at the time) throw-away lines, that - later on - someone might pick up for a launching point for something larger.

I think that you're going to find - in very short order - that something you mentioned in Raltvee (page 2, post 4 for any sharp-eyed LMBers) is almost directly in line with one of the central plot points of the upcoming Time War plot we've all been hatching.


In any case, congrats Ibby and Em! Very nicely done.

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See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)

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Emily Sivana
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Thank you for the compliments!

I did enjoy creating new characters with IB. Miguel Aligheri and Hal Ferris were characters I originally thought about turning into villains, but things panned out differently. Miguel was originally possessed by the demon Malacoda, but I had him cured off-screen because I didn't think this plot would lead somewhere (though I think this could be undone). However, I would love to use Malacoda and other Dante characters in the future.

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Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb

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Harbinger
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There are so many great threads here right now. Faraway's excellent Haunting tale is great - really atmospheric and creepy; Abin's great origin of Everyday Girl and My Wee Fem is smashing; Razsolo's ongoing alternative Legion epic is always a treat; Set's Vi and Alya snippet is fun; Emily's recently completed Raltvee is a lot of fun; Exnihil's sands of Time is also a lot of fun (and includes the sadly missed Yellow Kid); Cobie's tale of a young HG Wells is great, and my favourite thread goes to Jessie321's models - OMG it's absolutely stunning work!

I love this Forum!

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"Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.

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