posted
With a menacing glare Lardy can freeze anyone's @$$. The rest of his victim remains unscathed.
Next: Fancy Pants
From: Fort McMurray | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
Arm Fall Off Boy
Now starring in his own DC Comic, September 2011!
posted
Lardy invented the Bedazzler which he uses to make pants that cause villains to collapse laughing, much like they would at this guy, rendering them powerless.
5 o'clock shadow.
-------------------- Long Live all them Legions!
From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
At exactly 5 p.m. (17.00) local time, Lardy gains the power to allow his shadow to move independently--until 5:01.
Next: Quicker Picker-Upper
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I can produce a chick-specific pickup line at a bar in 0.2 nanoseconds. That doesn't necessarily guarantee the line's success....
Next: Fart Deco
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lard Lad's invention prowess enabled him to build and patent the only line of "plug-in" air fresheners that deal in a safe and healthy manner with... certain body issues. Their elegant vintage packaging, as well as the wide variety of available fragrances, made them the biggest thing to hit supermarkets and boutiques since the heyday of the paper bikini.
Next: Spin Cycle
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Used mostly around election time, Lardy has the ability to favorably slant news stories to the advantage of his chosen political candidates by riding his specially designed motorcycle up and down the streets of DC. (In case of a two-candidate ticket, the Spin Cycle is also equipped with a side car.)
Next: Child Proof Cap
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
Arm Fall Off Boy
Now starring in his own DC Comic, September 2011!
posted
Lardy wears a cap to bars that says "Hey Babes, stay away if you got kids!"
Next: Paper jam
-------------------- Long Live all them Legions!
From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lard Lad, in a gesture of worldwide altruism, used his magic powers to locate and retrieve every last copy of the film Space Jam still in existence. He then converted all the stockpiled copies to paper, using telekinesis, and then turned them all to elegant origami paper cranes. Said cranes were distributed to peaceniks around the world.
Next: That Old Black Magic
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Lard Lad can make old fashion trends, as opposed to new fashion trends (i.e. _____ is the new black), not look out-dated. He does this by reciting a magical spell.
Next: Photogenic Memory
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
Memories of Lardy are always 'retouched' to frame him in the best lighting. Sometimes people get lost in their memories of Lardy, because they are so darn photogenic!
Next: Big brass balls.
Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
During formal dance events where the orchestra is a bit lackluster, Lardy has the power to exponentially increase the horn section to really get that joint jumpin'.
Next:
Puss in Boots
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lard Lad wears magic boots that can give charitable (and painless) plastic facial surgery-- to anyone willing to take a deep breath from each boot when he takes them off at night.
(See also: Feet Vision)
Next: Rock-A-Billy
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
HDTV, or Huge Dictionary & Thesaurus Volumes, is the name of Lardy's power that let's him abbreviate or make an ancronym out of any word or groups of words. And while anyone can do this, Lardy's power makes the abbreviation or acronym instantly understandable. QED is it a sup-pow.
Next: A horse of another color power (or HAC-pow)
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
No matter how big your avenging re-animated zombie army of My Little Ponies is, Lardy's is bigger. And meaner. And cutting off or bashing in their heads won't save you, as they can still suck in brains through their specially-modified super-zombie-hooves.
Next: Flavor-Rite
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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