posted
Granted! Wi-fi is now available everywhere for free, but now nobody ever talks to anybody, and people become even more rude, thoughtless, and self-absorbed.
I wish Apple Corps would hire me to write new songs so they could market them as "lost" Beatles music.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted, but an obsessed Ringo Starr fan finds out after the first song is released and stalks you. After a deadly cat and mouse game, the stalker drives off a cliff. You feel relieved, but the stress has been too much and you suffer a fatal heart attack.
I wish when I get home there is a nice dinner waiting for me.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Granted! Quis and EDE now eat nothing but tomatoes. After awhile, they turn into giant tomatoes, a la Violet in "Willy Wonka." They blame you and sue you for every tomato-loving cent you've got.
I wish my central air was working so it would cool in here, instead of making me sweat.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! Your central air works perfectly. It's a nice 70.5 degrees inside. Unfortunately, your county, using its recently enlarged powers of eminent domain, has decided to seize your home to allow for development of a shelter for abandoned kittens.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
[ August 09, 2006, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
From: Washington DC | Registered: Oct 2004
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Granted. You knew .0005 seconds ago exactly what you know now.
I wish everyone would be kind to animals.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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Granted. Your hard-of-hearing genie made everyone "kindle for animals". Most species avoided the conflagration altogether, but there was a noticeable drop in the moth population.
I wish Ellen Degeneres would stop using my parking space.
posted
Granted, now Dick Cheney uses your parking space.
I wish Fat Cramer was dictator of the world.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Granted! Fat Cramer is now dictator of the world. Now she uses KryptonKid's parking space, and he refuses to speak to you ever again.
I wish my students would all come to class on time, be enthusiastic and engaged in the material, and leave only when the class is over.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! You are now teaching in Stepford, Connecticut.
I wish I had a glass of chianti.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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Granted, your glass of chianti came nicely chilled with a side of fava beans and liver: Phiphiphiphiphi.
I wish I were teaching in Stepford Connecticut so that my students would all come to class on time, be enthusiastic and engaged in the material, and leave only when the class is over.
From: East Toledo | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! But your "Y: The Last Man" trades contain multiple-page inserts for "X: The Next Mutant."
I wish the Nasty Genie would turn nice.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted, I have become so nice that I don't want to see anything bad happen to you so I am sealing you in a transparent plastic cube.
I wish that Hollywood would get creative and not rely on sequels and remakes.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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