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You have sex, mind-expanding, breath-taking sex. You didn't know it could be this good. Unfortunately you decide to light up a cigarette afterward and set house on fire.
I wish I could have mind-expanding, breath-taking sex with the fireman who tried vainly to extinguish your house.
From: Washington DC | Registered: Oct 2004
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You have sex with the fireman who was trying to extingish CJ's house fire. Unfortunately, you have sex with him while he's trying to put out the fire and you both burn up ... literally.
I wish I were being paid to write witty comments like this.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! But you're a speech-writer for the most vile, evil politician one could ever imagine, and you're utterly disgusted by how righteous he appears in public but how sleazy and sinister he is in real life. And you know that if you ever quit - or tell anyone the truth about them - you and your family are dead meat.
I wish weekends were three days long.
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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Granted! The weekends are now three days long, but that means you now work only part time and lose your health insurance and other benefits.
I wish the day had 36 hours in it so I could get everything done.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! An hour is now 40 minutes long. There are 36 of them in a day.
I wish I were omnipotent.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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Wait- I thought penguins were omnipotent...
In your hunger for power, you've alienated all your friends and loved ones. Sadly, you are forced to surround yourself with killer whales for companionship.
I wish I had some chocolate cake.
From: Denver, CO | Registered: May 2004
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Granted, You have a slice of the heavenly chocolate cake that was served at the wedding I most recently attended in Chicago -- in 2004. (The green stuff is not icing.)
I wish the cute bicycle repairman at my favorite bike shop would do all of my bike repair and maintenance correctly, quickly and for free.
From: Washington DC | Registered: Oct 2004
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Granted, a huge comic book convention (with all your favorite writers and artists) happened in Denver on Nov 20th. You did go, didn't you?
I wish CJ Taylor enjoyed the snow more.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Granted. CJ moves to the Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn where it snows all the time. While he's quite happy there with the penguin-people, there is no current Internet link between the two planets, so we never hear from our friend again.
I wish they still made Hydrox cookies.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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Oh, RhL, you should go to the Hydrox cookie store on 5th Avenue near Rockefeller Center, but hurry, because of the city's ban on trans fat, future Hydrox cookies will taste like stale oreos.
I wish I had season tickets to the Shakespeare Theatre this season.
From: Washington DC | Registered: Oct 2004
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Granted! He bounces incessantly off your walls for the next 18 years, until college. You stopped screaming inside your head a long time ago.
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
-------------------- White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
From: Birmingham, AL | Registered: Jul 2003
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You have a dry turkey sandwich on stale rye bread, with wilted soggy lettuce and rancid mustard. That wasn't weird, just a bad turkey sandwich.
I wish that each week there is a new Legion cartoon and that the cartoons are enjoyable.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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