Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
By reaching into a pocket and producing a gold ticket that reads 'T.G.I.F.' and then breaking into a (surprisingly catchy) rendition of Loverboy's 'Working for the Weekend,' Lardy can alter the flow of time so that it immediately becomes 5 PM on Friday. The one time he did this on 4:59 on a Friday, the time-space continuum collapsed and he became the seventh incarnation of the Time Trapper. It's generally agreed that he wasn't as good as the one with the scarf.
Next; Inverted V.
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
With a chuckle, Lard Lad can change any bicycle seat into an inverted V.
Leapin' Lizards
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy can infiltrate swap meets and flea markets disguised as a customer. Cheap knockoffs of textured Gucci and other big-name designer bags will jump several feet, revealing their status as fakes. Whereas the genuine article will temporarily become a live lizard (or crocodile)-- all it takes is a wave of Lardy's hand. This power also works on wallets, shoes, and belts.
Next: Shock Absorber
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Since Lardy discovered that he can absorb massive amounts of energy through his butt cheeks, earthquakes are no longer a concern for the residents of Creviceville, CA.
Next: Italian Dressing
Registered: Dec 2006
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Largely an improvement on a villain's invention. Offsets or reverses the damage borne of overly-broad Italian stereotypes.
Next: Jack-O-Lantern
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Lardy has his own power ring. Its power source is a lantern charged with Michael "Jack-o" Jackson's essence and music. Should you be hit by the ring's beam, you will instantly become sexually and racially ambiguous, be the subject of endless tabloid rumors and be able to perform a flawless moonwalk!
Next: Fall Colors
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Ahem. Sorry.
Lardy has a thorough knowledge of those "What Season Are You?" fashion 'n makeup charts that first took hold amongst the masses about twenty years ago. With a simple wave of his hand, he can turn any woman or man into a temporary "Autumn," so the person in question can wear those lovely rusts, deep golds, and bright oranges that s/he always wanted to.
Next: Grab Bag
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
If he is otherwise incapacitated, Lardy's scrotum will expand and take the shape of hands that will grab the nearest potential weapon...
Next: Pin the tail on the donkey
-------------------- Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
From: The waters off eastern Long Island | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
With the merest glance, Lard Lad can translate any language into Spanish. Too bad he flunked out of Spanish in high school.
Next: Clear Channel
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
The ability to create the effects of a laxative in his most backed up enemies...
Next: Swizzlestick
-------------------- Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
From: The waters off eastern Long Island | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Lardy has the ability to stir your cocktail from across the room using an appendage you'd really rather not have in your drink at all. Shaken drinks take a bit longer.
Next: Kodachrome
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
Registered: Feb 2008
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy can morph at will into Yoda's hotter, younger sister: Koda. Her Jedi powers are similar to those of Color Kid, but they only affect photographs, holos, and other likenesses of the three-dimensional world.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Lardry can transmute any piece of terrain into a noxious fart.
NEXT: keyboard cat
From: Fort McMurray | Registered: Nov 2004
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy's mental powers include the ability to detect "cat-like typing" in internet exchanges with others, thus averting misunderstandings online and their attendant flamewars.
Next: Jumbo Shrimp
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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