posted
Year Five: StuRat’s Term Part VI: The Dark Stu Saga (continued)
In continuity
Week Three Giant Squid continues his reporting outside Stu's mansion, under threats against his life by the Royal Inquisitor and threats of being arrested by the STUbots. Quislet, Esq., continues to ensure that he is not arrested.
The Royal Inquisitor announces that he will be storming the Security Office to take away Cobalt Kid's job. Cobalt Kid refuses to let him, and prepares to fight him. There are no other security officers on Legion World now and have not been for some time.
Winema Wazzo and Stu begin making plans to rule as King and Queen. They leak to the press that they have a major announcement to make.
Varalent stands by his public decision and renounces Stu's reign as leader. He journeys to SHAKES for a drink, where he is confronted by a mass of STUbots. He begins shrinking them and smashing them.
Across Legion World, Sanity or Madness? and Circuit Breaker do the same.
Cobalt Kid leaves his Security Office and joins Varalent, helping him destroy the STUbots. They are soon joined by the Emerald Empress, who reappears on Legion World.
Elsewhere, Fat Cramer, Lightning Lad, and Outdoor Miner continue resisting Stu and his STUbots.
The Resistance is now full on. The various resisters begin organizing, at Cafe Cramer and the Beacon. However, these places are not completely safe and the resisters look for an alternate place.
While Cobalt Kid joins Varalent and Emerald Empress in destroying STUbots, the Royal Inquisitor forces his way into the Security Office and declares himself the new Security Chief. The STUbots explain that Stu, the tyrant, has nominated him. Legion World continues to be under martial law, and now a brutal backlash begins. While the resistance fights back with force, Quislet, Esq. turns to the confines of the law to use a legal means to stop this repression.
Bevis opens his new Fabulous Boutique. Secretly, it acts a center for the resistance, in a special back room designed with resistance weapons and tools. The various resistance members meet there in secret: Fat Cramer, Bevis, Stoopid Cat, Cobalt Kid, Outdoor Miner, Varalent, Emerald Empress, Lightning Lad, Eryk Davis Ester, Greybird and others.
Minesurfer begins politically riding the fence by supporting both sides.
The armies of the Triumvirate continue to mobilize. Cobalt Kid's general, Scipio Taltarus, reports back to him that Stu has amassed thousands of STUbots outside of the Legion World atmosphere. Cobalt tells them to engage in war. Greybird and Eryk Davis Ester send their armies to join them, and a great war begins taking place outside of Legion World throughout space and faraway lands.
Stu and Winema Wazzo make their big announcement. During the announcement, Winema exposes the private areas of STU of Stu to millions, in a disgusting display of debauchery. A stunned public is outraged, and even more so when Stu and Winema blame the episode on faulty equipment. Although it is obvious that Winema wishes to gain power on Legion World, Stu cannot understand why his best friends and allies are turning against him. To him, it appears as if Legion World has gone crazy and risen up in a violent rage.
Working out of Bevis' Boutique, the resistance continues working against tyranny. Bevis hurls tomatoes at Winema and Stu, Varalent and Cobalt Kid destroy more robots, Sanity or Madness? and Outdoor Miner search for Kid Prime and Fat Cramer burns the kitchens at the Beacon so Stu cannot poison the food, when it became apparent that he might (although this was a brilliant illusionary tactic by Fat Cramer that did not actually destroy the kitchens).
Giant Squid makes a speech to the public denouncing tyranny and the reign of Stu. He refuses to move away from Stu's mansion, despite offers from Fat Cramer and Varalent to broadcast from Varalent's Villa.
The Royal Inquisitor attacks Giant Squid and uses an omega beam on him, instantly destroying the innocent reporter, so that he is not only destroyed, but never existed.
Outraged, Quislet, Esq., immediately hands a warrant over to Cobalt Kid to take in the Inquisitor. Also outraged, Cobalt Kid prepares to fight back for the Security Office.
Blockade Boy, the first Security Officer to show up in weeks besides Cobalt Kid and Emerald Empress, shows up at SHAKES to see the Royal Inquisitor hurl a firebomb at it, in an attempt to destroy the institution that refused to shut down. Blockade Boy uses his abilities to saves SHAKES from being destroyed.
Cobalt Kid arrives at the Security Office and demands a final showdown with the Royal Inquisitor. He rips open the doors and runs in for the finale. Fat Cramer soon joins him, making sure that he doesn't go alone in the big battle.
The LMBP Spectre appears again on Legion World after a lengthy absence, her spirit calling out for vengeance over the destruction of Giant Squid. She vows to get to the bottom of things.
Cobalt Kid and Fat Cramer take on the Royal Inquisitor in a huge battle (here is first post) that decides the fate of the Security Office. After a lengthy and destructive battle, Cobalt Kid and Fat Cramer defeat and apprehend the Royal Inquisitor. Since Quislet issued a warrant for his arrest, Cobalt is able to legally bring him in and make sure he pays for the murder of Giant Squid.
The LMBP Spectre vows to get to the bottom of things concerning the apparent betrayal of the mystical Iron Rat.
While Cobalt Kid and the Emerald Empress repair the Security Office, Winema Wazzo makes a surprise announcement and has her marriage with Stu annulled. Ever the opportunist, she understands that things are coming to a head and attempts to escape with a large portion of Stu's money and diamonds. The Emerald Empress was able to stop her from stealing anything, although Winema was set free on bail, and prolonged her trial through various legal means, which is still pending to this day. She has never been punished for her role in the Dark Stu saga.
Bevis accidentally blows up the Security Office, unaware that it was won back.
Arachne and Invisible Brainiac reappear on the scene and immediately rejoin the resistance.
Poverty Lad and Cobalt Kid are called into Stu's office to talk about a peaceful solution. Poverty Lad is then turned into a duck, and Cobalt Kid into an amoeba.
Poverty Duck runs off, and Lightning Lad rescues Cobalt Amoeba and brings him back to the Resistance HQ at Bevis' Boutique.
Doctor One returns and joins the resistance. Using his knowledge, he increases Cobalt Amoeba's size so it can defend itself. Giant Cobalt Amoeba rejoins the resistance.
Week Four With the Royal Inquisitor and Winema Wazzo no longer in the picture, the Resistance turns to Stu and begins planning what to do about his reign of terror.
In addition to destroying various STUbots, other resistance members begin using propaganda against the leader, and graphitti begins appearing on the walls of Legion World. Invisible Brainiac even goes as far as to turn Stu's mansion pink.
At this time, the very large Resistance consists of: Fat Cramer, Giant Cobalt Amoeba, Poverty Duck, Doctor One, Varalent, Emerald Empress, Stoopid Cat, Arachne, Invisible Brainiac, Blockade Boy, Eryk Davis Ester, Saturn Girl, Jinx, Greybird, Outdoor Miner, Lightning Lad, Mike Netzer, Sanity or Madness, Spellbinder, Circuit Breaker, Semi-Transparent Fellow and others, and new addition Abin Quank who returns to Legion World. Bevis is also possibly a secret member of the Resistance, although the history is a little vague on this detail.
Further, Kid Prime is still missing in his lonely corner of hell. The LMBP Spectre continues to hunt for the truth about the darkness on Legion World. Quislet, Esq. continues to maintain a state of law on Legion World, being the only voice of reason. Minesurfer continues to ride the fence.
Stu now begins to grow very worried. He cannot understand why the rest of the LMB and LWers are in revolt against him, and why they are unleashing a propaganda campaign against him. Using his magic, he learns that he too has been under a spell, and can no longer tell what was real with Winema Wazzo and what was an illusion. However, it is apparent to him that the rest of Legion World is under a massive illusion that has made him out to be a ruthless tyrant. Further, the Royal Inquisitor and the STUbots made the situation worse by furthering their own ends while Legion World was under an illusion.
Hoping for peace, Stu calls out to the LMBP Spectre, saying that "its time to end this", and that Legion World is under a massive spell. Believing this is a trick, the rest of Legion World approaches their leader cautiously. Suddenly, the LMBP Spectre appears to the rest of Legion World, announcing that Stu is indeed right. Removing the illusion, the LMBP Spectre tells them that a higher power has been behind all of this, attempting to divide Legion World from their leader to cause the chaos that ensued. However, she is unable to learn the identity of the evil mastermind, and promises to continue searching. Suddenly, the LMBP Spectre disappears again.
Realizing that they've all been tricked, the Legion World resistance reunites with Stu under peaceful terms, and he embraces them just the same.
Now no longer a resistance, but a united LMBP, the heroes turn their attention on fixing the chaos on Legion World and restoring things to normal. Then, they promise to begin searching for the still missing Kid Prime, who had gained an important item that has been forgotten about. Further, the LMBP vows to learn the identity of the evil mastermind and stop him/her.
A mysteriously cloaked figure begins appearing on Legion World, who acknowledges him/herself to be the evil mastermind.
Spellbinder removes the magic spell on Poverty Duck, restoring him back to his normal self. However, she cannot break the spell on Giant Cobalt Amoeba.
Abin Quank restores the Security Office to it's former stature, although he makes it a bit more tasteful than before by fixing certain statues that were engaged in [exploitive deleted]. Abin tries to make a machine to turn Giant Cobalt Amoeba back to a human, but it turns out to be a pretzel making machine, now in Cobalt's office for future use.
Invisible Brainiac turns Stu's mansion back to normal and the rest of Legion World begins cleaning things up again.
Minesurfer announces that he was both sides all along, so he was truly right all along.
After several failed attempts, Fat Cramer rallies Legion World to turn Cobalt Kid back to his normal self, and begins calling all mages. Finally, it is Varalent who shrinks Giant Cobalt Amoeba down to Cobalt Amoeba, and then Sanity or Madness? who creates a machine to turn Cobalt Amoeba back into Cobalt Kid. It works perfectly, and Varalent re-grows Cobalt Kid back to his normal size.
With Stu reunited with this allies and friends, Cobalt Kid and Poverty Lad restored, and Legion World fixed and working again, the LMBP now turn their sights to the two main problems: discovering the true identity of their enemy and rescuing the missing Kid Prime.
LardLad journeys back to Legion World to rejoin his LMB comrades, as they learn that he too had been put under a spell that did not allow him to find Legion World when he searched for it.
Despite constant planning, the Mysterious Cloaked Figure's plans go awry, as Legion World is now in a full state of recovery. With Poverty Lad and Cobalt Kid alright, and Stu the accepted and beloved leader he once was, it is evident that the plans of the Mysterious Cloaked Figure have failed. Further, other Legion Worlders, such as Monkey-Eater Lad, Ammericommando (aka Probability Pete), Beagle Boy, Faraway Lad and others are now appearing regularly to thwart his plans. It now appears that Legion World is stronger than ever.
The Mysterious Cloaked Figure is unmasked by Stu, and revealed to be Phineas B. Fuddle!! The man whose message board was overrun with LMBP shenanigans in their third year had returned, plotting revenge against them during this whole time! His main targets: Poverty Lad, Stu, Cobalt Kid and LardLad were all the main people who desecrated his message board that are still around, with the exception of Lash Lad (who Phineas admitted to having a slight crush on).
Disappearing, Phineas B. Fuddle leaves Legion World, announcing that he will return. By this time, his plans are moot, the LMBP is united and Legion World stands prepared. The Royal Inquisitor caught, LardLad returned, Winema Wazzo being prosecuted and everything restored to its natural state, the LMB enjoys their reunited strength with their leader and longtime friend. Legion World is victorious.
Epilogue However, Kid Prime remains missing, as his allies and friends search throughout the cosmos for him. Now that the battle is over and the enemy discovered, it has become apparent that Kid Prime is no longer in the clutches of Phineas B. Fuddle, but somewhere else. Could he be in a distant world or a...pocket universe? In his honor, the second great statue of Legion World is erected, 'The Statue of our lost Kid Prime', as the visage of Kid Prime now stands proud along across from Cobalt Kid’s. The street is renamed Statue Way.
After such a tumultuous few weeks, the LMB give themselves a slight rest and prepare to move on to the next leadership elections, as many LMBers consider taking a much deserved rest.
Giant Squid, the great casualty of the Dark Stu Saga, is honored by the LMB, for showing admirable courage in the face of adversity. The Alt ID community mourns for one of its own.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: StuRat’s Term Part VII: The Election of Varalent, Quislet, Esq. and Stoopid Cat
Real History At the close of the Dark Stu Saga, the new leadership elections began, as Stu set up an intricate nomination and election process. Once again, an enormous amount of the Legion World population came out and voted, and the campaigning was as silly and hectic as ever. Similar to the last election, this time marked a period of immense activity on the Mission Monitor Board.
At the close of the elections, there were six candidates, and the poll closed with a five way tie for LMB leader: Icefyre, Varalent, Poverty Lad, Quislet, Esq. and Cobalt Kid. At the time, there was some concern that the results may have been tampered with, and many people became slightly disenchanted with the elections thereafter. In the spirit of keeping things simple and fun, the five leaders privately came up with their own plan, and Poverty Lad, Icefyre and Cobalt Kid recused themselves, so that the elected leaders were Varalent and Quislet, Esq., with Stoopid Cat as the Deputy Leader.
In Continuity After the close of the Dark Stu Saga, Iron Rat felt it was time to end his term and possibly give himself a much needed rest. Using an intricate system of elections that he created, he began the new election process, and some immense campaigning ensued. Quick examples include Quislet, Esq’s back porch campaign, Stoopid Cat’s litter box, and Cobalt’s promise that everyone gets oral and children not prophesized to be great warriors would be fed to the lions.
At the close of the election, there was some concern that there was bid rigging and a tampering of the results, but the LMB was able to see that this was not the case. A five-way tie ensued, as the following were elected leader: Icefyre, Poverty Lad, Varalent, Quislet, Esq., and Cobalt Kid. Afraid of the bureaucratic nightmare that could result, Icefyre, Cobalt Kid and Poverty Lad agreed to step down, making Varalent and Quislet, Esq. the co-leaders of the LMB. Stoopid Cat was named deputy leader, becoming one of the few Alt IDs to ever be elected to that position.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: StuRat’s Term Part VIII: The LMB at the End of Stu’s Term
Here is the active LMB roster at roughly exact time that Stu’s term as leader came to an end:
Iron Rat (aka StuRat, Stu) (Leader) He Who Wanders (Deputy Leader) Lash Lad LardLad Cobalt Kid Mystery Lad Spellbinder (aka Princess Crujectra) Grey Birdboy Rhino Beagle Boy Sketch Lad Dev-Em Lucien Lad Faraway Lad The Boy with Ultra Powers Poverty Lad Umber (& the Boyz) Leap Year Lass (aka Thriftshop Debutante) Kid Prime Eryk Davis Ester Quislet, Esq. Varalent Fat Cramer Nightcrawler Matlock Minesurfer Lightning Lad Saturn Girl Sanity or Madness? (now known as Reboot) Outdoor Miner Arachne Sonnie Rickshaw DrakeB3001 Tromium Crystal White Raven Star Boy Bubble Wrap Boy Portfolio Boy Danny Blaine Blockade Boy Super Lad Kid Semi-Transparent Fellow Icefyre Abin Quank Harbinger Space Ranger Emerald Empress Numf-El Invisible Brainiac Doctor One (aka Juan) Monkey-Eater Lad Captain Dallas Kent Shakespeare Actor Lad Bicycle Repair Man Stoopid Cat Pagan Lass Magnetic Kid Condo
LMB Reservists Crusader Maxx LMB Spectre Kid Gender Reversal Stereotype II Something Amazing Marvin of the Brood Everyday Girl Santa Claus
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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From the very beginning of the LMB, one member that had been present throughout its history was Looks that Kill Lad, otherwise known as Paul MacNeil. Paul had been a part of LMB craziness and during that time became close friends with many, as well as a friendly acquaintance with others over the years. He was a true part of the interconnected group of friends that is the LMBP. Intelligent, fun and light-hearted, Paul made everyone smile with a few words.
During the early weeks of 2004, Paul passed away. Feeling saddened by his passing, it was a genuine tribute to how real his friendship was with many of us who lived so far away, especially those who had gotten to know him better than most.
He’ll be missed, and we’ll always look back fondly at our interactions with our Looks that Kill Lad. Knowing his love for the ‘Lord of the Rings’ series, we can only smile and hope he’s enjoying the Grey Havens
Looks that Kill Lad (1972 – 2004) Rest in Peace
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part I: Change, Growth, & Patterns
As the new leadership took charge of the LMB, life moved on as it always had, as things changed, people and institutions grew on Legion World, and different patterns emerged and changed. At the onset of the new leadership, some of the prominent posters that had been at Legion World since its beginning decreased their activity, as other posters began to increase theirs. New posters, such as Kent Shakespeare, and later KinetixZoeGreen became more prominent, while a large portion of previous posters from a variety of eras continued to post regularly on Legion World. Legion World was changing, albeit very subtly.
Despite being relatively new, Legion World had become a strong foundation for the community it housed, and the LMB felt comfortable posting in both the Mission Monitor Board (the general home of LMB-centered craziness) and the other boards: the Legion forum, Dr. Gym’lls, the Anywhere Machine, etc. In fact, while the Legion forum and the MMB had previously had an immense amount of activity since Legion World opened, it was at the onset of this new term that the other forums began to come close to matching them in activity upon occasion. Bits of Legionnaire Business continued to have a plethora of threads that encouraged community projects, although shifted away from tag team stories and more towards the new monthly galleries begun by Monkey Eater Lad, and threads such as “Missing a Muse” by Leap Year Lass.
New ‘events/stories’ took place in the form of things like the ‘Alt ID Rebellion’, although the pendulum shifted back during this term to less story-type threads and more personal threads, comic-book driven threads, and other things. The activity level, however, remained potent and strong.
During this period, the LMB celebrated their real-life fourth anniversary, a strong tribute to the strong friendships and mutual enjoyment of one another that had begun so long ago. While change and patterns seemed more subtle and undetectable, the feeling of growth continued to be strong.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part II: Life on Legion World
The Mission Monitor Board Statues Previously, Legion World had a brief history of Statues, as ‘The Statue of the Legendary Poster Known as Cobalt Kid’ was created during Princess Crujectra’s term as leader. The thread, often used as an ongoing joke between many posters was done on the premise that the ‘denizens of Legion World’ erected it in Cobalt Kid’s honor, which further inflated his ego. At the close of the Dark Stu Saga, a second statue was created in honor of Kid Prime, who was missing from the LMB still the close of the saga. This actually stems from Fat Cramer creating a statue of Abin Quank, although Abin declined it, prompting Fat Cramer and Arachne to change it to honor Kid Prime. During the Varalent/Quislet term of leadership, Statue threads became an ongoing part of Legion World life, and became a customary thing each month. Started by Eyrk Davis Ester, these would honor a particular poster on Legion World each month, on the premise that eventually everyone would have their own statue. This soon became tied in with the LMB mythology of the Triumvirate, as Cobalt Kid became the customary speech maker at these events, which went along with his very public and spotlight oriented personality. The premise then went along the lines that the Triumvirate used the gold and booty it secured from other worlds to pay for such wonderful adornments, as the Ancient Romans did. The first of these Triumvirate Statues was of Fat Cramer.
The Alt ID Rebellion Following a period that was highlighted specifically by the Dark Stu Saga, many posters that were prominent on the Mission Monitor Board were more inclined to begin and embroil themselves in another ongoing storyline. This led to ‘The Alt ID Rebellion’, a story that centered on Space Ranger and the Alt ID community. Previously, a long-standing LMB/Legion World subplot was that Alt IDs were seen by some as a different class, and many felt bitter towards the real poster class. Soon, many Alt IDs apparently were plotting to overthrow the ruling class (if you saw it that way), spurred on by a letter written by the imprisoned Royal Inquisitor. The Alt IDs gathered around their figure-head Space Ranger, and an apparent split began on Legion World. Encompassing a variety of threads once again, ‘The Alt ID Rebellion’ lasted for a brief period, although it never picked up the steam that the ‘Dark Stu Saga’ had. With many posters a bit burnt out on those types of stories, it faded slightly towards its conclusion.
Bits of Legionnaire Business Gallery of Legion Arts During this period, Monkey-Eater Lad had the brilliant idea to begin a thread each month entitled “Gallery of Legion Arts”, with a specific theme for each month’s thread. These would accept submissions from all those on Legion World that were artistically inclined, whether they were drawings, coloring, photomanips, poetry, short stories, figurines or other forms of art. The first wing kicked off in April 2004 with ‘The Mano Wing’, and has been a mainstay of the Bits of Legionnaire Forum ever since.
Dr. Gym’lls Cultural Rarities and the Anywhere Machine Longstanding Threads It was about during this time that a specific trend began in these two forums, that of longstanding threads. Previously, there had been a plethora of threads begun in both forums, however, during this time there was a new emphasis on keeping certain threads going, to reflect the ongoing changes in whatever topic the thread was about. For example, the “Dieter’s Support Thread” in the Anywhere Machine began and remained an ongoing mainstay of the forum, growing from a small amount of pages and gradually becoming larger to the point of being in excess of thirty pages. In Dr. Gym’lls Forum, threads dedicated to a specific comic book were started, but then were kept active by the monthly bumping of them and posters continuing the conversation from the month earlier when the previous issue had been out. Thus, a new trend of longstanding threads had begun, as these threads essentially never died, and remained active as each new ‘episode’ or ‘update’ on the topic came about.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part III: Infinite Earths of the LMBP
Real History From the onset of the LMB, there was always a very ambiguous line in how the LMB co-existed with the Legion of Super-Heroes, the group that helped bring together the posters that formed the LMB in the first place. Sometimes it would seem like they existed in the same world, other times it seemed like the LMB lived on in the Legion’s place.
Further, LMB stories became more and more in depth and convoluted, and the eventual outgrowth into alternate worlds happened much quicker than one would suspect. The first hint of this came on the very first day of the LMB, when Shadowplay in Candlelight mistakenly referred to bellbookcandle (aka Seahorse) as a fellow girl. Taking it all in good humor, Seahorse and MLLASH decided that there must be another alternate Earth, where there was a female bellbookcandle (which would mean female Seahorse as name changes happened down the road).
Sometime later in LMB history, the poster Amber became prominent, as the LMBer Homecoming Queen. Soon after, another poster, named Umber, also became prominent, and it was established that Umber was an alternate Earth version of Homecoming Queen. However, while this left a vast array of potential LMB stories, this little thread was never followed up on until much later.
Other characters had their origins in other Earths a well: Captain Lightbulb, from a destroyed Earth, and possibly Lucifer Lass, which may or may not have been true.
After it was revealed two years later that Umber was the daughter of Cobalt Kid and Thora sent back in time to an alternate Earth, an idea session between Eryk Davis Ester, LardLad, Cobalt Kid and Bevis kick started a new line of thinking: if Umber was originally from our world, what if it was Amber who was from the alternate Earth, and was the daughter of that Earth’s Cobalt Kid and Thora, sent back in time for other reasons. This brainstorming session led to the creation of the Alternate Earths of the LMB, as well as planted the seeds for the ideas for the later Tag Team Thread “Crisis on Earth-4!” which will be covered in another section for this time period.
In Continuity
In an attempt to further understand the mystery concerning the missing daughter of Cobalt Kid and Thora, who Cobalt believed to be the LMBer Umber, four LMBers used a plethora of scientific equipment to experiment and theorize on the possibilty of there being alternate Earths existing on parallel wavelengths. Eryk Davis Ester, LardLad, Lucien Lad and Cobalt Kid began experimenting, and eventually came to some stunning conclusions. The fifth invited experimenter, Faraway Lad, mysteriously choose not to involve himself in these brainstorming sessions. note- this point is revealed in “Crisis on Earth-4!”
Earth-1 The four LMBers eventually discovered the existence of multiple Earths, all existing on a variety of frequencies and wavelengths. Being the cocky super-heroes that they were, LardLad, Cobalt Kid and Lucien Lad insisted that if they were going to start differentiating between Earths, then the one that they were on would be Earth-1. Real History Translation Earth-1 is the Earth that houses the LMB.
Earth-2 A second Earth was observed, and interesting enough had many similar figures, which proved that each Earth may have an exact counter-part for citizens of another Earth. This Earth had a Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Greybird, and others. Real History Translation Earth-2 is the DCU, with the Legion, Superman and other super-heroes.
Earth-3 A third Earth was viewed, this time with its own distinct culture and flavor, although it also had some counterpart matches to faces that were familiar to the LMB. On this Earth, there existed a Nightcrawler, a Mantis and other familiar faces. Real History Translation Earth-3 is the Marvel Universe, with Spider-Man, the Avengers, mutants, etc.
Earth-Nil Knowing full well that Captain Lightbulb was born on another Earth that was once destroyed, LardLad crudely named his Earth, ‘Earth-nil’, rather than use a number on an Earth that no longer existed.
Earth-4 It was here that the four heroes found an Earth that was much similar to their own, although it was just far enough away that made it harder to investigate. Earth-4, it appeared, had many more counterparts than the other Earths, and apparently had its own super-hero group that mirrored the LMB of Earth-1, named the SMB. The four heroes made a vow to attempt to learn more about this Earth and what ‘SMB’ stood for.
A female Seahorse One thing that they were able to discern was that this was indeed the Earth with the female Seahorse that strangely visited Earth-1 in the first year of the LMB.
The Amber/Umber Switch The Amber/Umber switch remained a mystery at this time, although energy traces revealed that Earth-4 was indeed the Earth that Umber was brought to when she was sent backwards into the past. At this juncture, Amber was hurled from Earth-4 into the LMB’s past. Further DNA tests revealed there was a 93.45% chance that Amber was the child of Earth-4’s Cobalt Kid and Thora. Why the switch occurred in the first place remained a total mystery. At some point, Umber was able to travel back to Earth-1 to meet her counterpart Amber, sometime in the third year of the LMB, which in and of itself is a very odd occurrence that warranted further investigation.
Further revelations concerning Earth-4, the SMB and the Amber/Umber Switch will be revealed in the “Crisis on Earth-4!” Section
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part IV: Anecdotes and Adventures During the Varalent/Quislet Term
Legion World’s Twin Towers The new Headquarters for the LMB leadership is erected in the form of two large towers, one for Varalent and one for Quislet, Esq., with a saucer in the middle for deputy leader Stoopid Cat. During this time, Stoopid Cat hones his terrasact technology so that he can get to any spot on Legion World. This Terresact system becomes very useful to the select few that will eventually be able to access it.
- Right at the moment that the switch in leadership occurred, the LMB were joined by its latest recruits, Americommando (also using the name Probability Pete) and CJ Taylor, who had known the LMB before the move to Legion World. These new additions to the LMB quickly immersed themselves in Legion World culture. Speculation that CJ Taylor is an Alt ID has also secretly remained rampant, although such speculation is deemed inappropriate in public.
Struggle at the Security Office Following the elections, in which Cobalt Kid demanded all children not prophesized to be great warriors to be thrown to the lions, Quislet, Esq. begins to questions Cobalt’s sanity. Cobalt, however, insists it was a ploy to gauge the security threats of a potential other tyrannical LMB leader among the general population following the Dark Stu Saga. At this exact time, Cobalt recently returned Dev-Em to Legion World, who was off on his own espionage mission. Quislet, Esq. then began to toy around with the idea that maybe he could replace Cobalt Kid with Dev-Em as Security Chief. However a variety of things stopped this: Cobalt Kid proved he was sane, Quislet, Esq., as a master of Legion World law, realized that you could not take away Cobalt Kid’s life appointment as Chief of Security, and Dev-Em preferred to work with his friend, not against him. Following this, Dev-Em is made a full-time Security Officer, as is Furball, a constant companion of Dev-Em and former LMBer.
Golden Shower Outdoor Miner’s old arch nemesis from his days before the LMB, Golden Shower, arrives on Legion World looking for trouble. She soon becomes embroiled in a battle with the entire Office of Security, Beagle Boy, Matlock, Actor Lad and Outdoor Miner himself.
- Following the Dark Stu Saga, some members see this as the opportune time to take a break from the constant craziness and danger of LMB life. Kid Prime takes a brief absence from the group, as does Iron Rat, who needs to gather his thoughts and refocus on his mystical inner self after a strenuous term as leader and the Dark Stu Saga.
Lash’s Meth Lab Lash Lad opens ‘Lash’s Meth Lab’, to the delight of Danny Blaine, Icefyre and Cobalt Kid, who visit it for some time. Hilarious hijinks ensue as the colorful strobe lights and heavy dance music blares in the background.
One More Festive Night at the Villa The Festive Five continue to do an immense amount of partying, particularly in Varalent’s Villa, leaving it a mess when he’s away working as co-leader of the LMB. However, seeing a period of low threat activity as a good time to decrease their status to inactive, Super Lad Kid, Condo and Magnetic Kid all become inactive members, to pursue a variety of responsibilities. Having one more blowout night as the Festive Five, Cobalt Kid and Invisible Brainiac rejoin their comrades at Vee’s Villa.
The Search for Fuddle Following the election of new leadership, a larger, ongoing search begins throughout space by the LMB, as Varalent leads a large group of LMBers into various quadrants of space to wrap up this loose end. Ultra Matt, Danny Blaine, Doctor One, Invisible Brainiac, Pagan Lass, Abin Quank, Faraway Lad, Lucien Lad and He Who Wanders join him.
-Although inactive, Shark Lad returns briefly for a traditional tussle with Furball. Interestingly enough, Furball appears to have a unique friendship with Stoopid Cat.
The Statues of the Triumvirate Seeing the welcome response of the denizens of Legion World to the statues of Cobalt Kid and Kid Prime, the Triumvirs begin using their enormous wealth and treasure to bankroll a project to create beautiful statues of LMBers around Legion World. A committee is formed to decide who is picked, headed by Triumvir Eryk Davis Ester, and these ceremonies usually included speeches by Cobalt Kid, another Triumvir. The first of these statues was of Fat Cramer. These are built by Eryk Davis Ester’s construction company, Statues, Buildings and Wondrous Architecture Construction, Co.
The Secret Bunker a secret underground bunker was found beneath Legion World by Faraway Lad, Icefyre, Quislet, Esq. and Eryk Davis Ester. Seeing the paintings on the wall, rumors began that there was some strange mystical connection to the Alt ID community there.
- As Legion World continued to change throughout this period of leadership, LMBers both new and old continue to huddle around SHAKES for good company and great spirits. Semi-Transparent Fellow waits to serve his loyal customers, and even begins caring for an increasingly depressed Giant Robotic Lesbian, who sits outside on the deck drinking, even when it rains.
-With the funds of the Legion World Triumvirate, a Legion World Orphanage and Playground was created. This was done mainly by Eryk Davis Ester, although rumors suggest that the Playground was done also for Leap Year Lass. There is no evidence to support this.
The Secret of the Seventh Super-Shocker A gang of super-powered punks called the Shockers arrives on Legion World, causing the LMB to respond when they start terrorizing the local farming community. However, six LMBers are quickly captured and administered the ‘super-shocker’: Grey Birdboy, Lash Lad, Rhino, Varalent, Icefyre and Faraway Lad. Finally, it is up to the team of Princess Crujectra and Actor Lad to attempt learn their devastating secret—only to find out its Legion World founders Nightcrawler, Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl playing a friendly prank on them.
-Floating Foxlike Creature Boy appears on Legion World, prompting Eryk Davis Ester to demand that he speak to the LMB for the first time, after receiving evidence that he was secretly a spy. He eventually recieved a reply from the notorious Lurker.
Of Evil Facial Hair The Archduke of Time returns to trouble the LMB, this time sporting a new evil half-goatee, that further alarms the LMB to the height of evil they are facing. Soon, Nightcrawler, Minesurfer, Sketch Lad, Poverty Lad, Umber, Fat Cramer and Star Boy beat him back to his own century, but not before shaving his evil facial hair. Further, when the Archduke of Time tells Umber that they are both children of the same father (re: Cobalt Kid), she says a hearty ‘ICK!’ and throws an espresso in his face.
MLLash Day April 11th is officially made MLLASH Day, a Legion World holiday to celebrate Lash Lad, the most beloved of all posters throughout space/time/internet. This tradition began when Eryk Davis Ester showed all of the various discussions concerning the great poster at the same time.
And there shall be a Giggling… The girlfriend of Faraway Lad joins him on Legion World, unveiling her giggling and lollypop powers to the LMB at large! Quickly, Gigglebot Girl is inducted into the LMB!
-Proty II journeys to Legion World to join the LMB, and becomes a prominent member for a time.
- Leap Year Lass encourages more activity from LMBers Matlock and [returning] LoneWolfLondo, who rejoins the LMB for a brief period during Varalent and Quislet’s term as co-leaders.
- Hop on Pov! becomes immensely popular as a game again on Legion World and throughout the cosmos. Poverty Lad’s celebrity status seems to skyrocket in direct response to this new fad.
Kinetic Energy The LMB gain a young new recruit, as KinetixGreenZoe enters Legion World and quickly tries out for the group. Seeing her energy and enthusiasm as definitely a good thing, they quickly induct her, and she becomes fast friends with Invisible Brainiac and Cobalt Kid.
The LMBP Super-Babies! New LMBers Gigglebot Girl and KinetizZoeGreen are forced to take control of the LMB, as all of the rest of the LMBers are suddenly turned into toddlers! With the help of a few LMB academy students, the two are able to uncover the truth behind this change: it is the work of longtime LMB enemy Salad Tosser Lord, and his new partner, Man of 1,000 Feces, who may or may not have some strange connection to Eryk Davis Ester and the Light Brigade. Note- this was a genuine tag team tale titled ‘Tag Team – the Return’, although it never had an ending
In the Valley of the Trumpets As a small army of giant brains begins mind-controlling various LMBers to act even more rudely than they normally do, Harbinger learns that the only way to free them from mind-control is to use a trumpet to shock them back to normal. Thus, Harbinger tells the LMB what to do with their trumpets and Abin Quank, Numf-El, Sonnie, Captain Dallas and others follow suit.
- At this point, the events in The Alt ID Rebellion occur, although those events will be covered in the following section. The outcome is that a lasting tension exists between Alt IDs and regular posters, as well as Alt IDs and the feline community. Space Ranger leaves the LMB (and the Security Office) for a period at this point, and the Royal Inquisitor is free once more.
Here and Now: The Future! The newest addition to the LMB makes his grand entrance, as Future arrives on the scene! Quickly becoming one of the more prominent members of the LMB, Future solves the mystery of the hidden spy inside Monkey-Eater Lad’s ankle, after Dr. Lesbon implanted it there when she treated an ill Monkey-Eater Lad and Kent Shakespeare.
The Radioactive Madness of Portfolio Boy! Portfolio Boy returned to Legion World in the guise of Obadiah Oldbuck. In trying to gain a super-power, he entered a nuclear reactor, where it appears he gained one. A massive investigation ensued, as security officers believed me may have been driven mad (a la the Green Goblin) or become a rampaging beast (a la the Hulk). He's made no comment on these accusations.
- Icefyre changes his moniker to Frostfyre for a period of time.
- The Triumvirate supervises the building of statues that are erected to honor Fat Cramer, for her role in ‘the Dark Stu Saga’, and later Invisible Brainiac, both along Statue Way.
Double-Header New Alt ID's Dyvud and Frenk, the heads of Double Header, ran rampant on Legion World for a few nights. Only Outdoor Miner could calm them, it appears, by getting them hammered. They soon after become mainstays of Legion World.
Underwear Unleashed Nipple-Ron, a mysterious devil empowered some of the LMB's greatest foes. Golden Shower, Outdoor Miner's nemesis is now Shit-Blaster, and Sanity or Madness?'s arch-nemesis has also become more hideous.
The Return of Kid Prime After an absence that lasted most of the Varalent/Quislet term of leadership, Kid Prime returns to the fold and becomes an active member of the LMB again. He quickly reopens “Kid Prime’s Room” to the delight of Legion World. He also becomes fast friends with Future.
The Return of Space Tart Space Tart, the long-lost, long thought dead wife of Cobalt Kid suddenly returns to Legion World, to everyone’s surprise, except Cobalt Kid. She is reunited with her LMB friends and rejoins the team, and quietly begins building a life for herself on Legion World. Her reunion with Cobalt Kid is behind closed doors and they attempt to finally live a married life.
- Towards the end of the Varalent/Quislet Term of Leadership, there is a decrease in LMB activity from many LMBers. Those that step back from the active duty list include: Danny Blaine, Sonnie Bloke, Portfolio Boy, Dev-Em, Furball, Emerald Empress, Proty II and LardLad.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part V: The Alt ID Rebellion
Real History Only about a month and a half after the ‘Dark Stu Saga’, there was still a longing to continue with long-running stories that both affected the individual stories of the LMBers, and acted as a major ‘event’ on the MMB. Thus, little by little ‘The Alt ID Rebellion’ came about, as a few similar storylines intersected into one bigger one. While bringing in a variety of characters, this did not reach the level of the ‘Dark Stu Saga’ and eventually fizzled out before much of an ending could be added to it. Thus, part of its legacy was the long-lasting tension between the Alt ID community of Legion World and the regular poster community, which would later be used in subsequent MMB storylines (by Eryk Davis Ester and Cobalt Kid especially).
In Continuity
The Royal Inquisitor’s Letter Still in jail for the murder of Giant Squid during the ‘Dark Stu Saga’, The Royal Inquisitor wrote a letter to the two LMB leaders, Varalent and Quislet, Esq., saying that he could provide information on an upcoming Alt ID revolt. While the leaders are cautious to believe the word of someone they held such little respect for, word is leaked to the public at large, and soon a tension begins to mount, causing wild accusations and distrust.
Alt ID Secret Files Stoopid Cat reveals to his sister Fat Cramer that he has amassed what he calls ‘Alt ID Secret Files’, believing that his role as Deputy Leader and his status as an alt ID himself meant he had a responsibility to Legion World. He now begins hiding his "Alt ID secret files".
- Space Ranger begins acting strangely, and searches for Stoopid Cat.
Queen Connie Queen Connie, Varalent's cat, joins Legion World and quickly becomes friends with Fat Cramer and Stoopid Cat. Both she and Fat Cramer become worried about Stoopid Cat. Queen Connie becomes an official member of the LMB
-Varalent, Cobalt Kid, Outdoor Miner and Eryk Davis Ester are drawn into the mix, attempting to figure out what is going on.
Dr. K Nine Dr. K Nine, who was working with Space Ranger, captures Stoopid Cat. Stoopid Cat hurls his "Alt ID Files" into the hidden underground bunker.
-Cobalt Kid attempts to enter the bunker, but Space Ranger seals it up. It begins becoming clear that Space Ranger has alternate motivations. Formerly very close friends, a tension mounts between Cobalt Kid and Space Ranger.
-Faraway Lad, Icefyre and Abin Quank investigate the secret of the bunker further, but are unable to find anything other than clues that this may have once been a secret hiding place for Alt IDs before Legion World was created.
-Jinx is captured by Dr. K Nine.
-Space Ranger breaks Royal Inquisitor out of jail. Legion World is now in a full scale revolt, as Alt IDs join the rebellion, and other Alt IDs are hunted down by over-zealous Legion Worlders. In addition, another battle line is drawn, between felines and Alt IDs. On one side are Space Ranger and other alt ID's, and on the other side is the felines: Stoopid Cat, Fat Cramer, Queen Connie and Jinx.
- The Royal Inquisitor, now at large, uses this moment to escape the Capital City of Legion World, revealing his true colors: he could care less for the Alt ID community and cares only for his own hide.
-Varalent frees Jinx and Stoopid Cat from Dr. K Nine.
-Cobalt Kid fires Space Ranger from the Security Office, although regrets doing so, hoping that it's all a misunderstanding. He places him on a special status, where he is suspended until further notice.
-Space Ranger maintains his stance that Alt ID's need to be treated more fairly on Legion World. He still holds his views as a major Alt ID supporter, although he has now stepped down as the head of all Alt ID's. He is revered among the Alt ID community in a way similar to William Wallace and Julius Caesar.
- Fat Cramer is able to convince Queen Connie and Jinx to be calm and not let the feline/Alt ID war get out of control.
- KinetixZoeGreen joins the involved LMBers in trying to halt the ongoing battle, as they ease tensions and try and build a lasting trust again between Alt IDs and regular Legion World posters. Although the violence stops, a sense of ‘never being able to go back’ lingers.
- Showdown Finally, the mounting conflict is symbolized by a battle between Space Ranger and Stoopid Cat, longtime friends now turned bitter enemies. With Eryk Davis Ester, Cobalt Kid, Outdoor Miner, KinetixZoeGreen, Varalent and the felines caught in the middle, the battle rages on throughout Stoopid Cat’s terrasact system. When it looks like Stoopid Cat finally has no chance in beating the incredibly powerful Daxamite, he uses his terrasact technology to send him to another dimension faraway, where he is lost for some time.
-After months of searching and litigation, Cobalt Kid, Varalent and Quislet, Esq. are forced to close "The Alt ID Revolt Case", with little sense that the case is closed.
-Rumors that Stoopid Cat's "Alt ID Files" are in the possession of Cobalt Kid (Chief of Security) continue to flow through Legion World and its grapevine. It is believed that the two, who had neither cared for one another before this, have acted in unison to create a protocol for future Alt ID troubles.
- Dr. K Nine is never found from this point forward and is never prosecuted for his role in furthering this event. One theory suggests he slowly poisoned Space Ranger to encourage his new militant line of thinking. He is still wanted on charges of kidnapping.
-From this point forward, a massive search and investigation concerning the whereabouts of the Royal Inquisitor is started, and continues for months by the Security Office. Despite many officers in deep cover in the field, the search remains hopeless, although the full reasons are not disclosed until the later ‘Good, Dark and Dead’ Saga.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part VI: Crisis on Earth-4!
Real History During Varalent and Quislet’s term as leaders, another Tag Team thread was started in the Bits forum, entitled “Crisis on Earth-4!”. What made this different from other tag team threads is that it encompassed a variety of long-standing LMB subplots and ideas and was a long time in coming. It was natural that this thread be started, which Eryk Davis Ester did after two previous threads led to theorizing sessions on the existence of another Earth and Amber being the child of Earth-4’s Cobalt Kid (here and here). Thus, a plethora of ideas erupted once this new tag team story was launched, allowing long-standing questions to be answered.
In Continuity Previously: - Vibrating on another frequency exists a parallel Earth to the LMB’s Earth-1. This Earth has been named Earth-4 [by the LMB of Earth-1].
- On this Earth, there exists ‘duplicates’ to many of the people that live on Earth-1. These duplicates often are mirror images of the counterparts, and sometimes have large or small differences that make them unique.
- It is known to the LMB that Umber and Amber (aka Homecoming Queen), both members of the LMB are counterparts of one another. Previously, it was believed that Homecoming Queen was of Earth-1 and Umber was her Earth-4 counterpart, who traveled to the LMB’s Earth through mysterious means during the third year of the LMB.
- Recently, the LMB established that Umber is most likely the baby of Earth-1's Cobalt Kid and Thora, sent back in time to Earth-4 (until she joined the LMB two years ago). Thus, it's theorized by Eryk Davis Ester, Cobalt Kid, Lucien Lad and LardLad that Homecoming Queen may be the child of Thora and Cobalt of Earth-4, sent to back to our time on our Earth. This leads one to believe that Thora and Cobalt of Earth-4 had a love affair.
Now, the story begins: On Earth-4, a group of villains have assembled under the leadership of the Trumpeter, an arch-villain there. This assemblage of evil includes the following: Golden Shower (who has an Earth-1 counterpart that is Outdoor Miner’s nemesis), the Stalker, the Super Bartender of Space, Glamour Puss (who is the Earth-4 Lucien Lad), Thora, and Lard Lord (the Earth-4 Lard Lad). The Trumpeter reveals to him that through Thora’s science, they have discovered the existence of another Earth (Earth-1), which they intend to raid and destroy.
Previously, Lard Lord was a mighty member of the Society of Message Board Posters (aka the SMB), which is Earth-4’s counterpart to Earth-1’s LMB. Lard Lord had some sort of transcendence to the side of evil, and went on a murderous rampage. During this assault, he murdered two fellow LMBers: Cobalt Kid and Loser Lad. It should also be noted that Glamour Puss, the Earth-4 Lucien Lad, has been evil all along.
Unknown to the rest of this group of villains, the Trumpeter has his own evil motives for this journey. The Trumpeter's true plan is to unite all of the Emerald Body Parts of Ekron from Earth-1 and the Emerald Clothing of Ekron from Earth-4 (which they already have) to recreate Ekron himself!
At some point earlier in the history of the multiverse, there existed Ekron, one of the most powerful beings of all time. When he was destroyed, his body parts were scattered throughout the multiverse—his most important landing on Earth-1 and Earth-4.
It soon becomes apparent that Thora herself has alternate motives. Thora, who once loved Cobalt Kid, hates Lard Lord, who killed the Earth-4 Cobalt Kid and Earth-4 Loser Lad and is secretly plotting against him. She also has one other major objective: to find her missing daughter, who was mysteriously sent away through time and space fifteen years in the past. This was the daughter of herself and Cobalt Kid, who she named Amber, the future Queen of Taltar. It was through her search for Amber that she was able to discover the existence of Earth-1. Upon learning this knowledge, she sought out one of the most cunning minds in the galaxy, the Trumpeter.
The SMB is on Earth-4, the counterparts of the LMB of Earth-1. Unlike the LMB, however, the SMB have fallen on some particularly hard times. They also have strong differences to the LMB.
On Earth-4, Portfolio Girl, Salad Tosser Lad and Invisible Brainiac, all SMBers, stumble across Thora’s plan. Invisible Brainiac and Salad Tosser Lad are captured, but Portfolio Girl and her pet toad get away. Salad Tosser Lad becomes Glamour Puss's prisoner for a specific reason, while Invisible Brainiac becomes an experiment to Thora. Thora plans on using Invisible Brainiac in some way, possibly against Lard Lord.
The Trumpeter dispatches the Stalker to find Faraway Lad of Earth-4, to use his power to get to Earth-1. He also uses the Super Bartender of Space, Faraway Lad’s worst enemy (because of his weakness to port and dark lagers) to bait him.
Faraway Lad of Earth-4 is hidden with some secret ally that knows a lot of what's going on. However, the Stalker is able to find him, and the Super Bartender of Space subdues and captures Faraway Lad of Earth-4 by using port and dark lager against him. The Stalker, showing a new degree of ruthlessness, then kills the Super Bartender of Space, because he was no longer important to the Trumpeter's plans. He brings Faraway Lad of Earth-4 to Thora and the Trumpeter, and they turn him into a giant portal to Earth-1. The secret ally of Far of Earth-4 mysteriously disappears.
Meanwhile, Lash Lad of Earth-4 and his wife, Linda Lake (who was once known as Stretchable Lass), are having a picnic, which Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-4 is at. Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-4 maintains control over a Luck Lord whenever he says the word "Jeepers". He says it, naturally as always, and sensing the upcoming Crisis, the luck lord switches EDE of Earth-4 with EDE of Earth-1, to help avert the Crisis.
On Earth-4, the Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-1 arrives and Lash Lad, Linda Lake, and other SMBers Intelligent Mountain Lion, Twilightcrawler, Lightning Lass and Saturn Guy begin to figure out that this is a different EDE.
On Earth-1, Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-4 appears, and after an exchange, Cobalt Kid, Varalent, Spellbinder and Harbinger find out that this isn't their Eryk either. They journey back to Legion World and bring him to Doctor One. There, the Doctor, with the help of EDE's luck lord, proves Cobalt's theory of multiple Earth's is correct.
Meanwhile on Earth-4, Thora uses Faraway Lad of Earth-4 as a portal, and dispatches Lard Lord, Glamour Puss and Golden Shower to get the Emerald body parts of Ekron. They become aware that these are stored on Legion World, in the LMB’s Repository for Lost Artifacts. She also secretly dispatches the Stalker to find Homecoming Queen and Umber.
Portfolio Girl, who got away earlier, journeys to her Earth-4 comrades, the SMB (led by the Earth-4 Seahorse, a girl) aboard their Satellite Headquarters. Earlier, Ratmage (the Earth-4 STU) sensed something is wrong. The SMB assembles: Ratmage, Monkey-Eater Lad, Kid Heavyfeathers, Outdoor Miner, Atypical Lass, Sonnie Bloke, Satan Claws Cramer, Shark Lad, Future, Seahorse and Insanity and Madness!. The assembled SMB (those mentioned above) hear her story, and now aware of the LMB they begin holding hands and chanting along to Ratmage's spell, to contact the LMB of Earth-1...
Now on Earth-4, Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-1 is so stunned by what’s happening, that he utters the word “jeepers!”. Suddenly, a new Luck Lord appears, and asks what it can do for Eryk! He asks that it help figure out what’s going on, and the group of heroes are suddenly transported to the SMB Satellite!
On Earth-1, the three Earth-4 villains Golden Shower, Lard Lord and Glamour Puss begin to attack and ravage Legion World. While Lard Lord terrorizes the people, Glamour Puss succeeds in stealing all of the Emerald Body Parts of Ekron, which had been stored by the LMB earlier in the year.
Cobalt Kid and Varalent, now joined by Abin Quank, the only active LMBer on Legion World at the time, begin battling Lard Lord, believing it to be their ally Lard Lad, which gives him the upper hand. Golden Shower further complicates the situation.
The Stalker, also on Legion World, succeeds in finding Amber and Umber, who are both on a shopping spree, with Thora, of all people. The Stalker suddenly attacks, and steals the two girls away, unaware that this was ironically the day that Thora was going to tell Umber that she was her mother! Putting up a fight, the two girls soon fall to the Stalker’s might and he joins Glamour Puss, who sends them all back to Earth-4.
Suddenly, things got strange, as the Crisis began expanding beyond all control and the universes all suddenly began to die out! The mysterious ally of Earth-4's Faraway Lad revealed himself to the being known as The Phantom Stranger! The Phantom Stranger plucked Faraway Lad of Earth-1 from the time stream and explained to him the ongoing problems with Earth-1, Earth-4 and the Faraway Lad of Earth-4. Faraway Lad of Earth-1 tries to help his buddies Cobalt and Invisible Brainiac by messing with the time stream, but the Phantom Stranger does not allow him to succeed. The Stranger explains to Faraway Lad what he must do, to stop the villains and save the Earths. Using his power (but exhausting himself for the time being), the Phantom Stranger is able to keep Earth's 1 and 4 alive for awhile longer, so the LMB and SMB can save the multiverse. If Faraway Lad fails, all of the Earths will die.
Little is known about the Phantom Stranger; save that he exists in all Earth's simultaneously and thus has no counter-part. He also likes to work with the Faraway Lad's because they unknowingly have the sole power necessary to naturally travel across the various Earths.
With Earth-1 and Earth-4 restored, reality blinks back into existence, with Earht-1 being attacked by Lard Lord and Golden Shower of Earth-4. As Cobalt Kid, Varalent, Abin Quank, Doctor One, Harbinger, Spellbinder and Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-4 battle on, Glamour Puss escapes back to Earth-4 with the body parts of Ekron, while the Stalker returns with Amber and Umber.
Thora, now insane with anger and revenge, suddenly changes all plans! Thora of Earth-4 uses Invisible Brainiac, who she had captured, and turns him into a high powered laser beam, firing through the Earth-4 Faraway Lad/portal into Earth-1, and directly into Lard Lord, who she hated for killing her lover, Cobalt Kid. This massive blast of light shoots into Lard Lad, with tremendous force, murdering him instantly, as well as the Earth-4 Invisible Brainiac. Subsequently, a burst of mega-energy explodes outwards, as the full force between Invisible Brainiac’s light energy and Lard Lord’s Lardforce erupts. Abin Quank and Cobalt Kid are able to funnel it directly into space, so save Legion World.
However, this had been part of the Trumpeter’s plan all along. Knowing full well that Thora would not rest until Lard Lord was destroyed, he planned for this massive explosion of energy, and is able to harness it and drag it back into Earth-4. Using this explosive and massive ball of energy, the Trumpeter forges together the Emerald Body Parts of Ekron and the Emerald Clothing of Ekron once more, creating the most awesome force of power in the history of all that is. Only one final item remains: the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ekron.
Unsure of how to proceed, the LMB are suddenly given quite the clue: The SMB of Earth-4, using a crystal ball and holding hands via Ratmage’s spell, are able to appear before the LMB for the first monumental meeting of the SMB and the LMB! The LMB, now in possession of the Earth-4 Golden Shower, make the villainess spill the beans, and they reveal the location of Thora’s laboratory. The SMB quickly get on their way there.
While the SMB is away, Faraway Lad (of Earth-1) appears, and tells them that there is a far more dangerous threat at hand: Ekron himself! He has them sound the general alarm, and all of the LMB is called into action.
On Earth-4, the SMB mount a fast attack on Thora’s laboratory, only to discover that this was a trap all along! They soon battle the Stalker, but are able to over power him through sheer numbers. While Shark Lad and Seahorse free the Faraway Lad of Earth-4 (who was left abandoned with the portal now closed), Kid Heavy-Feathers finds a damaged and overwhelmed Salad-Tosser Lad. However, these distractions serve a higher purpose—Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-1 is left alone for a moment, allowing the Trumpeter to attack!
The Trumpeter attacks Eryk of Earth-1, and reveals that he is only after one thing: his Nelly Cap! It is then that the Trumpeter reveals a bombshell: the longtime nelly cap of Eryk Davis Ester, which had become such an important part of LMB lore, was actually none other than THE EMERALD NELLY CAP OF EKRON!!! The Trumpeter grabs the cap, and takes off to finish his plan!
Uttering a ‘jeepers’, Eryk sees the Luck Lord appear once more, who reveals his true origin: Eryk always had a mastery of luck and calamities, and had always been able to summon a Luck Lord if he wanted. However, in his early years, he came across a nelly cap that he could not help but feel compelled to wear and love, and always wore it thereafter. This nelly cap was the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ekron, which scarred the Luck Lord too much for it to come out and serve Eryk. With it now safely removed, the Luck Lord would be able to help Eryk whenever he muttered the word ‘Jeepers!”.
The Trumpeter, now with the Emerald Nelly Cap, returns to the reborn Ekron, and places the cap upon his head! Suddenly, the powerful being arises once more, awake and ready to destroy all that is! Ekron himself, who transcends multiverses, begins his assault on all that is left (re: Earth-1 and Earth-4).
The SMB, now disheartened, are unsure what to do. It is the hurt Faraway Lad of Earth-4 that tells them: they must join their new LMB allies! At that same time, the LMB have assembled en masse—for the biggest assemblage of LMBers in their history. Faraway Lad of Earth-1, now aware of the other Faraway Lad’s plans, helps open a portal, as the two Faraway Lad’s reveal their power: all Faraway Lad’s of all Earth’s, can move between Earths. Opening up a portal, the two allow the SMB and the LMB to finally meet face to face!
While the Eryks are safely returned and Golden Shower and the Stalker sent to prison, the LMB sees how horrible things have become for the SMB. Making a coordinated effort, they begin to do everything they can to lift their spirits. Even seeing Cobalt Kid and Loser Lad again helps make things better, even if they’re from different Earths. Now: it is time to fight back.
The Assault on Thora of Earth-4 While the rest of the LMB figure out what to do next, a small strike team prepares to battle Thora, who killed Lard Lord and Invisible Brainiac, and now holds Amber and Umber hostage. Lash Lad of Earth-1, Lash Lad of Earth-4, Seahorse of Earth-4, Portfolio Girl of Earth-4, Crusader of Earth-1, Beagle Boy of Earth-1 and Lucien Lad of Earth-1 lead the assault! After it becomes apparent that Thora is insane with rage, they are able to free the two young female LMBers, who don’t understand what’s happening. It if finally the LMB’s secret weapon that does it: Cobalt Kid of Earth-1. Believing this to be her Cobalt, Thora lowers her guard, and reveals that she is not as horrible as one may seem. Cobalt comforts her for a moment, before he nods to Crusader to shut down her brain. Wondering what is going to happen next, they are not surprised to see the Phantom Stranger appear on the scene!
The Amber/Umber Switch At last, the truth behind the Amber/Umber switch is revealed. The Phantom Stranger became aware of the Trumpeter’s plans a year earlier, and knew that the return of Ekron could possibly mean the end of all things. He would not be able to battle Ekron directly, as that was not how his powers worked. So, he organized things so that the babies of Cobalt Kid and Thora, both born on the same day on different Earths, were sent backwards in time by 15 years. However, they were sent to opposite Earths, so that Homecoming Queen went to Earth-1 and Umber to Earth-2. This accomplished two major things: first, it made the LMB and SMB aware of each other, if only slightly, and second, the energies used in doing this made Amber and Umber both immune to the entropic energies that had been created through Ekron’s plan. The Phantom Stranger further sent Umber back from Earth-4 to Earth-1 three years earlier, as further contact between Amber and Umber further strengthened this immunity. Finally, the Stranger turns to the two girls, and tells them that it’s up to them. Beagle Boy finally asks the Phantom Stranger: ‘who are you, and what exactly is it you do’. Which he replied: ‘you know me, whether you realize it or not. And I can give looks.’ ‘Looks?” asked Portfolio Girl, to which he replied ‘Yes. And sometimes, they are more than enough to kill.” With that, he vanished, although it was Lucien Lad who first realized what they had just been told.
The Emerald Might of Ekron Thus, the assault on Ekron began, as the combined might of the entire SMB and the entire LMB journey to the dimension outside of the known multiverse via the Faraway Lad’s, and confronted Ekron and the Trumpeter. While a small group battled the Trumpeter (which the Eryk’s via their Luck Lords were able to defeat), the combined rest of the teams launched a massive assault on Ekron, creating the single biggest battle in the history of either team.
The battle raged on, as hero after hero used their unique abilities to battle Ekron. Finally, it is the duo of Homecoming Queen and Umber, further powered by the various LMBers and SMBers, who take the final fight to Ekron, ripping open his new energy shell and lunging inside his entropic energy self, hammering away from within with heightened strength. With the entire universe in the balance, they are able to defeat Ekron and destroy him.
Epilogue - Following the battle, the LMB and the SMB enjoy each other’s company and have a nice relaxing session. The SMB appear to be inspired by the LMB, and gain a new positive outlook on heroing, that reminds them more of their earliest days. They decide that from this point on, the two teams should meet up every year to get to know one another better.
- The Trumpeter, a mind-shut Thora, the Stalker and Golden Shower are imprisoned on Earth-4. Glamour Puss remains at large.
- A small funeral is held for Earth-4’s Invisible Brainiac, as Earth-1’s Invisible Brainiac gives a speech. In a more quiet ceremony, Lard Lord is laid to rest. Lard Lad of Earth-1 appears in shock by the lack of support by the SMB, and Cobalt Kid and Loser Lad try to comfort him.
- Amber and Umber return to Earth-1 together, and the LMB is delighted that this mystery has finally been solved. Apparently, Umber herself still doesn’t quite ‘get it’ that Cobalt Kid and Thora are her parents.
- Eryk Davis Ester of Earth-1 regains his nelly cap, now forever depowered of its Ekron essence. He now gains full control over his Luck Lord.
- Ekron is destroyed and all his body parts/clothing are no more.
- The Faraway Lad’s of both Earth’s now gain a new responsibility: they alone are responsible for traveling from Earth to Earth, and they form a unique bond in this way. They also share a unique bond with the Phantom Stranger.
- The Phantom Stranger says farewell, but not before the LMB can make him an honorary member. He says he’ll be there when he’s needed, and a certain enlightened few give him a hug, saying ‘I know’.
- The LMB return to their Earth, looking forward to once again learning more about the SMB of Earth-4!
[ March 08, 2006, 09:33 AM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part VII: The SMB of Earth-4!
Roll Call
Seahorse (Leader) - the current leader of the SMB, who is also a female.
Ratmage (Deputy Leader) – Earth-4 Stu, and lover of Seahorse
Atypical Lass
Outdoor Miner
Invisible Brainiac
Salad Tosser Lad
Beagle Boy
Portfolio Girl
Monkey Eater Lad
Lightning Lass
Saturn Guy
Twilightcrawler
Stupendous Mountain Lion (the Earth-4 Stoopid Cat) - whose wisdom and intuition has saved the SMB on more than one occasion!
Kid Heavyfeathers - When Grey Birdboy and Danny Blaine switched powers, he gained the power to make things heavy, leading to his new moniker
Satan Claws Cramer
Shark Lad
Sonnie Bloke
Insanity or Madness
Faraway Lad!
Eryk Davis Ester* - who can summon a Luck Lord by saying the word “Jeepers!”
*SMB Mascot
Retired
Lash Lad – who retired to marry his longtime girlfriend Linda Lake
Stretchable Lass – aka Linda Lake, who only served for a brief period to be closer to Lash Lad
Numf-El - Currently, Numf is no longer an SMBer. He is president of the UP.
Danny Blaine- After switching powers with Grey Birdboy, Danny gained tracking abilities. He then left the SMB to pursue a writing career.
Evil
Lard Lord - who went on a murderous killing spree, killing SMBers Cobalt Kid and Loser Lad! He was recently killed by Thora in recent “Crisis on Earth-4!” story
Lucien - who joined only briefly before being revealed as a traitor!
Dead
Cobalt Kid – killed by Lard Lord
Loser Lad – killed by Lard Lord
Invisible Brainiac – killed by Thora in recent “Crisis on Earth-4!” story
Lard Lord – evil for a long period of time, recently killed by Thora in recent “Crisis on Earth-4!” story
Not super on Earth-4
Varalent - who is in fact a small shop owner
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part VIII: The Election of Outdoor Miner and Reboot
Real History At first, it seemed that having another election might not be the route that many LMBers would want to go, in light of the last election. However, a thread begun by Cobalt Kid sprung many into action, where it looked like the majority of LMBers would find it positive, which was further helped by Kid Prime giving his support. Not surprisingly, this had been an issue that Varalent and Quislet (LMB co-leaders) had been discussing privately, and they had prepared for their own election procedures, which began shortly thereafter.
During this election, it became the new standard to nominate oneself. The main consequence of this was that a plethora of Alt IDs nominated themselves, which led to an explosion of silly-ness and campaigning threads.
When the results were in, it appeared that Sanity or Madness? (now known as Reboot) was the new LMB Leader, and Outdoor Miner was the new Deputy Leader. However, later on, it would be revealed that there was a bit of tampering with the election results, and the poll was a bit off. In all actuality, it was actually Outdoor Miner that was the rightful leader, and Sanity or Madness? that was the deputy leader.
The following nominated themselves for leadership:
Dr. Mayavale Thora Obadiah Oldbuck (aka Portfolio Boy) Sanity or Madness? (now known as Reboot) Umber Actor Lad Outdoor Miner Computo Jr. Koko Sir Prize (an alt ID whose identity remained a mystery)
Note to all reading—throughout this entire timeline, I’ve tried to focus on positive aspects of the history, and not the side stuff that at the time seemed distressful, but in hindsight does not seem to be the biggest deal. This will be no different.
In Continuity
At the close of Varalent and Quislet’s term as co-leaders, the new LMB Leadership Elections where held. Prompted by Cobalt Kid, Kid Prime and others, Quislet and Varalent reformatted the election process to make it so that nominations were now self-nominations.
One side effect was the massive emersion of Alt IDs looking to be leader of the LMB. New Alt IDs Sir Prize, who identity remained a mystery, Computo Jr. and older alt ID Koko nominated themselves. After being secretly asked by the Royal Inquisitor to nominate himself, Dr. Mayavale saw the benefit to the people of Legion World (in his own mind) if he were leader.
To show her seriousness in acting as a true leader of the LMB, Umber ditched the ‘Boyz’ that had been her constant companions since traveling to Earth-1 back in the third year of the LMB. While Brock went to college, Cliff went home to Earth-4 and Ashe remained on Legion World (because of his ‘fondness’ for the boys). The newly returned Space Tart and Saturn Girl became Umber's biggest supporters.
LMB stalwarts Sanity or Madness?, Actor Lad, Obadiah Oldbuck and Outdoor Miner (after some prompting from Cobalt Kid) also nominated themselves.
Campaigning ensued and even more craziness than ever before became an ongoing event at Legion World. Other alt IDs were thrown into the mix, which secretly worried Eryk Davis Ester, who felt that this could spark some of the tensions still left over from the ‘Alt ID Rebellion’, or worse, be part of some plan by Space Ranger. Luckily, neither of these things occurred.
Lightning Lad also made a public announcement that he would strike anyone with lightning that voted for Umber or Koko.
After much anticipation, the vote revealed that Sanity or Madness? was the Leader of the LMB and Outdoor Miner the deputy leader, although there had been some secret tampering that did not come to light right away. The true leader should have been Outdoor Miner, and deputy Sanity or Madness?
Minor Anecdotes following the Election - Following the previous election, the large amount of alt IDs that were on Legion World remained a major part of the activity there.
- Previously more outskirt members of the LMB community on Legion World, like Thora and Dr. Mayavale, now became more central members to the community.
- Sir Prize and Computo Jr. largely vanished and have not been seen since.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part IX: The LMB at the End of Varalent and Quislet’s Term
Here is the active LMB roster at roughly exact time that Varalent and Quislet's term as leader came to an end:
Varalent (Co-Leader) Quislet, Esq (Co-Leader) Stoopid Cat (Deputy Leader) Lash Lad Cobalt Kid Mystery Lad Spellbinder (aka Princess Crujectra) Grey Birdboy Rhino Beagle Boy Sketch Lad Lucien Lad Space Tart Faraway Lad The Boy with Ultra Powers Poverty Lad Umber Leap Year Lass (aka Thriftshop Debutante) Kid Prime Eryk Davis Ester Fat Cramer Nightcrawler Matlock Minesurfer He Who Wanders Lightning Lad Saturn Girl Sanity or Madness? (now known as Reboot) Outdoor Miner Arachne Rickshaw DrakeB3001 Tromium Crystal White Raven Star Boy Obadiah Oldbuck (aka Portfolio Boy) Blockade Boy Super Lad Kid Semi-Transparent Fellow Frostfyre (aka Icefyre) Abin Quank Harbinger Numf-El Invisible Brainiac Doctor One (aka Juan) Monkey-Eater Lad Captain Dallas Kent Shakespeare Actor Lad Bicycle Repair Man Pagan Lass CJ Taylor Americommando (aka Probability Pete) Gigglebot Girl KinetixZoeGreen (now known as Luna aka High Priestess Viviane) Queen Connie Future
LMB Reservists Crusader Maxx LMB Spectre Kid Gender Reversal Stereotype II Marvin of the Brood
Honorary LMBers The SMB of Earth-4 Hummer Lass The Phantom Stranger Santa Claus Everyday Girl Something Amazing
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Five: Varalent & Quislet, Esq.’s Term Part X: An Overview of Year Five
Without any doubt, year five saw the most dramatic change in the history of the LMB—to the point, actually, where it becomes extremely difficult to put into words an accurate summary.
At the onset of year five, the LMB and the online community on the old DCMB Legion Boards had truly merged into one large community, and had established themselves as the new community on their home, Legion World. Nightcrawler and Lightning Lad’s gift of Legion World truly was a ‘gift’ as it created, after many years of struggling, a home for this larger community.
Throughout year one of Legion World, a plethora of change affected this new, larger LMB. People forged new friendships and interacted with new people, as some friends established their presence and faded a bit into the background, and others slowly emerged as a major presence. Longtime friends, both former LMBers and others, returned to the fold, as the community continued to grow exponentially.
The first year encompassed a sense of getting used to the board—the newness of it created an energy that spread like wildfire and produced immense, constant activity. From Alt IDs, to ongoing LMB storylines in the MMB, to the Dark Stu Saga and other ‘event stories’, the LMB-central themes exploded. This, however, only encompasses one small percentage of the activity occurring on Legion World, as all other varieties of threads became persistent, which does not even take into account the larger conversation on comic books, let alone the Legion of Super-Heroes, in a forum whose activity rivaled the MMB.
With only one year under its belt, Legion World was still new, and this larger LMB was still growing and changing constantly. But once again, there was a sense that something had been established and that there was an adhesive community that was not going to be going anywhere. As change would occur in the next year, as it always must, the ‘launch’ period had come to a close, and a new direction began.
Friendship, however, no matter how distant the friends were, remained the central theme to this community.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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