Tired of the day-to-day routine of Legion World?

Take a break at Rockhopper's Rookery! Just the place for rest and recreation away from the rat race.

Set in the hills in the north of Legion World, Rockhopper's Rookery offers skiing, ice-skating, sledding and snowboarding (no snowmobiles, please).

We also have an indoor pool, especially popular with the sentient waterfowl.

Relax in the lodge with hot chocolate or brandy by the fireplace. A toasty treat on a cold night.

And, should you get lost in the drifts, we will dispatch Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle to rescue you!

Enjoy some time away at Rockhopper's Rookery!

Sweet.....ice.

Can we play hockey?

Coolio!

Literally!

feh Hockey, Curling Canada's goodtimes winter game. Awwwragh, Lars get me another pitcher of Blue.

I absolutely need a co-ed team, I'll even play front end. The gals can skip (means they don't have to sweep). I kinda get er aroused when girls yell the sweeping instructions at me....

Those of you who have curled will know what I'm saying, the rest of you

We have several rinks, so feel free to play hockey or curl or figure skate or whatever you will.

Winter sports are always fun.

Next week we'll have a luge contest!

I've never been skiing - anybody want to teach me?

We have several qualified, hunky ski instructors on staff who are very willing to lend you whatever assistance you need.

Well, I'm sold. You have a great career ahead of you selling ski vacations, Rocky!

You want a travelling companion, Prime?

Lee can go with you, i'll just go along for the ride, you might say...

Yes, yes...

Actually, i might just be in the way....

Do you have any female ski instructors, Rockhopper Lad?

I'd be happy to teach you Invisible Brainiac. I'm not an instructer, but I do no a thing or two about the cold.

Yes, we do have some female instructors, IB, though I'd take up Frio's offer .

And Frio! I've been wanting to meet you. It's nice to meet someone else with ice powers!

Oh Rockhopper! I have your hot cup of cocoa waiting!

Why thank you, LAM! Don't forget the marshmallows!

Have them right here! do you want the white or the pink kind?

Oh, white, of course. The pink ones turn the hot chocolate funny colours !

Ooh i didnt know that...I thought pink would be your favourite colour

Oh, I like pink, but not in my hot chocolate. I'm a bit of a purist that way. Thank you for being so sweet.

Nice place Rockhopper! You could use this place for one helluva a Christmas blowout...

Thank you, CK. That's a very good idea.

Make sure you have plenty of mistletoe handy

If we get some hockey started, I'll play net......in the meantime, i'll be curling with Tamper Lad

Hard, Hurry Hard, Hurry Hard


*sigh*

It's just not the same when it's not a woman screaming it at me.

*smirk* I knew you missed me.

I'd take up my offer too!

And, thanks Rockhopper Lad. It's lovely to meet you too.

Also the proper reply in curling when your partner yells this at you too much is.

"If you had pointed it the right place dear, I wouldn't have to do it so hard, dernit"

Okay, now we'll all gather round the fire and sing a rousing chorus of "What Would Brian Boitano Do?".

Hi Rockhopper Lad! Just popped in for a sec... Hope you don't mind, but I have to search for Vee and Abin. (scans the area using light powers) Hm... not here... I think I'll have some cocoa before I continue my search, thanks

(disappears back into the tesseract system)

I'll have the ski instructors and the penguins keep a look-out for them.

And, of course, Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle will immediately be dispatched to patrol the grounds.

*WHOOSH*


BWAHAHAHAHA, out of the way, WHHHHHEEEEEEE*

*SPLASH*

Well that was refreshingly
This crisis is growing by the second but what can we do?

I know, back to the top of the hill again...

Look I wrote my name in the snow!!!!!!

Oh golly, and in Copperplate Gothic, too!

This gives me a chance to try my newest power: Snow cleaning!
<Gestures over yellow snow, fresh white snow shoots from his hands, PolarBoy's name dissappears>

Ya never know when it might come in handy!

<RHL gathers with friends after returning from Earth-4, calls one of the serving penguins over>

Hot chocolate and warm brandy all around, please.

While we were on Earth-4 I promised I would explain my origin when we got back.

<Snuggles with Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle>

First, yes, my father is the Emperor Penguin (that's a title; he is of the House of Rockhopper), Eudyptes XXVIII. He and my mother, Empress Maris, have two children, my sister Adelie and me.

As you all know, I come from a planet called "Houston", which, by some coincidence is pronouced exactly the same as a city on Earth. We adopted its spelling to honour our Terran friends.

On Planet Houston, sentient life evolved not from apes, but from penguins. You see, penguins evolved on Planet Houston. The penguins you know on earth were brought there aeons ago and evolved in a separate direction. Each of the penguin clans of my world evolved into a different species on Earth.

There were orignally eighteen clans of penguins, two of which, fought each other to extinction millenia ago. Their collateral decendents on Earth are the largest species, the Emperors and the Kings.

The sixteen remaining clans united into one nation, the Penguin Colonies. Clan Rockhopper was chosen by lot to be the ruling clan, and their decendents are my family, the House of Rockhopper.

At first glance, we look like Earth humans, with some important difference. We have hair-like feathers rather than hair. Many of the men of our planet, myself included, grow feathery "goatees" on our faces, which are mostly bare.

We have no teeth. We have bills inside very human looking mouths.

We are hatched from eggs, both parents taking turns watching the egg.

And, yes, like Earth penguins, many of us are attracted to the same sex.

We have webbed feet, over which we have limited shape-shifting abilities. We can change their shape to expand them to resemble skis on which we can travel across the snow.

Centuries ago, the sorcerors of the Colonies, bestowed upon the House of Rockhopper an extraordinary gift. Penguins thrive in the cold and our planet was becoming warmer. We were given the ability to generate cold, to freeze objects and create ice and snow.

The House of Rockhopper have been the champions of the Colonies for time immemorial. With peace and serenity on Planet Houston, I felt my calling was elsewhere and so I came to Legion World to join the LMB.

Any questions?

What caused your dad to become an evil emporer in the first place, Rockhopper?

I think that's the evil one is the Earth-4 version LAM.

I'm off to steal some beer for Everyday Girl.

Oh well , it was a nice recap of your origin, Rockhopper...Did you leave a forwarding address in case Openly-Gay Lad wants to stay in contact?

Oh my, she's under aged!

Fear not, Terry, i will simply revert the Coors into a relatively harmless Grape Nehi...

Nova Girl is correct, LAM. My dad is the benevolent Emperor of the Pengin Colonies of this universe. In the Earth-4 Universe, my own double killed his father and usurped the throne. I guess he's Eudyptes XXIX.

As for Openly Gay Lad, I'm sure he and I will see each other again.

I am honoured to have you amongst my friends here at Legion World, Rockhopper

Well who am I to argue with Cobie?

Please join us here at Rockhopper's Rookery for the First Annual Rookery Holiday Party.

Food, drink and fun for all. Pop in any time during the season. The party lasts into the New Year.

to all,
RhL

Is there a dress code? Everyone seems to be in black & white.

RL, I'll give you once chance to return the little fella before I call the authorities.

Oh dear. I fear this may be the work of the Penguin Interstellar Liberation Action Front (PILAF)! They're pretty scary. This may be the penguin equivalent of Patty Hearst!

But let's not let them spoil the festive mood!

Patty Hearst? Oh, I loved her in "Cry Baby"..."Guess what we're having for dinner - potato au gratin" (a chorus of 'yummy' responds)

LAM! I'm glad you could come to the party.

Have some champagne?

There are all sorts of goodies on the buffet. Help yourself.

Speaking of goodies, where is Icefire, dude?

Oh, he may show his pretty face. 'Twould be nice.

I have a lot of mistletoe handy

Awww!

Double awww

I love parties!!!!and Men!!!!

Welcome, Icey. It's always a pleasure having you around. What can we get for you?

Some hot man-love would be nice!!!!

Well, I think I can help you with that. If you'll excuse us for a bit.

Always room for one more at the Retreat, yes?

Still plenty of room at the Retreat

I'm tired. I've got some hot chocolate with little marshmallows and a nice warm fire here at the Rookery. Does anyone mind massaging webbed feet?

Will a feather boa help?

A feather boa can never hurt. Ah--those aren't Penguin feathers, I hope.

Remember, a vote for Rockhopper is a vote for every day being a snow day!

There will be a fabulous reception at the Rookery this evening with champagne, hors d'oeuvres and very hunky, scantily clad waiters. You're all very cordially invited.

Chilled drinks I'm sure will be included!



And everyone knows I love hors d'oeuvres!

Indeed are chilled drinks included. If yours is not cold enough, I'll chill it for you.

what about scantily clad waitresses? Or won't straignt men count if your admin?

Fret not, Mr Shakespeare. Oh, Gwendolyn! Marianne! Please attend to Mr Shakespeare's needs. Thank you.

It's nice to see how well you've progressed in learning to cut & paste words Cobie! Beats the hell out of trying to spell it I say!

Didn't mean to be rude...I meant to post the following until I saw Cobie's post above

Best of luck in the election Rockhopper!

Thank you, Vee. I didn't think you were being rude at all.

Now, please sample some of the comestibles on the buffet. Let me get one of the waiters--ah, Zach, please fetch Mr Varalent a beverage of his choice.

This is the first buffet I've seen where the scantily clad waiters are all penguins! They do look awfully cute in those thongs, though.

Ms. Cramer, welcome. My own staff are assisting with the seafood table. There are some lovely, scantily-clad human waitstaff as well. Here's one now. Ah, Nick, would you be so kind as to get Ms. Cramer a nice, hot cup of coffee? Thank you.

Ah... thank you... that's a nice backrub. Maybe I won't vote for Frio after all.

You know me too well . Knowing me, if I had to spell it on my own, it'd would definately be more like another favorite word...

Remember: A vote for Rockhopper is a vote for backrubs for everyone!

now we're talkin!!!!


good luck rockhopper!

Good luck in the election!

Thank you, gentlemen. Let me call some of the scantily clad waitstaff for you.

Daniel, please attend to Mr Disaster. Eliza, please see what Mr Actor would like.

Since it's Thanksgiving Day in the United States on Earth today, all the scantily clad waitstaff will be wearing Pilgrim hats and bonnets.

Zach, please bring me some champagne. Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Another round of champagne for everyone! And more backrubs! Everyone enjoy yourselves!

I feel like I am coming into this really late when the parties in full swing.

So I’ll just make like Lesley Nielsen in Airplane and spend the rest of the election going from campaign thread to campaign thread saying

Opens door, steps through.

“I just want to say everyone’s counting on you”

Closes door and leaves.

Ah, dear. Faraway left before Vanessa could give him his cocktail--and whatever else he wanted.

Opens door

"I just want to say everyone's counting on you"

Takes singapore sling from Vanessa, Kisses her hand and closes door and leaves.

I thought that would get him back here.

Anyone else for a bevvie?

Jillikers!

I'd just like to say that I'm fully against the stereotypes that Oswald Cobblepot has perpetuated among sentients!

A little known fact is that I once dated a Penguin/human hybrid back in the LMB's early years! Although I ended up breaking her heart and encouraging her unholy wrath, I often think fondly of her.

That's our Cobie!

Encouraging the wrath of young females of all species since circa 1980.

On behalf of the Pyngwyn Colonies, Cobie, you are hereby pardoned of any offences against any penguinoids.

Thanks Rocky!

I, for one, will never forget the noble defense the Pyngwyn Army put up for Legion World during the Infinite Crisis and the recent invasion.

Bah! goodwill between fellow candidates has no place in modern elections.

Your right!

I promise that once I'm elected, all armies will fall directly under my command, with no second or third parties weighing on military matters!

We will, er, be a peace-keeping force though. I promise! Why, I love peace so much, I'd kill for it!

How very Zapp Branigan of you, Cobie.

Just popped in to wish you luck, Rocky!! You're a good sort and I'd definitely trust the LMBP in your hands.

Thank you, Cali. You're sweet. Daniel, a beverage for the lady, please.

We've got plenty of potent potables and many munchy morsels here, folks. And a new batch of scantily clad waitstaff are coming in shortly.

The campaign may have lasted longer than we thought it would, but there's still plenty to eat and drink. Come and have some fun here at the Rookery.

If we don't start the election soon, I'm not going to vote. This has become drawn out long enough.

Good luck, everyone. It's been a fun campaign.

Grats on your election as Deputy Leader RL!

Congratulations RL.

I hope you have fun being in charge.

Huzzah!

Let the kickbacks commence!

Since it's still pretty early on Joe-Boy's side of the world, the party begins here and moves to his place when he gets up!

Rockhopper has penguins for his office staff. They look so cute answering the phones.

And they're so formal!

If the new deputy's a Rockhopper, why do I see so many Erect-crested penguins around here?

We must get Rockhopper Lad a cute ditzi secretary immediately! Who among you will be his 'Guy Friday'?

Hmm. I seem to remember that Lad Boy was promised a cushy government job...

...just dropping by to hand you the deputy leader's keys to every door on Legion World.

and to shake your hand, amigo! have fun being dep!

Thank you, Kent. If I need any advice on deputying, I'll be sure to ask.

Now what door does this key open?

Ah ha! Kid Prime lost that when HE was leader!
At last! We have the key to the executive washroom again!
Sweet!

-umm-can I borrow that for a minute?

Im here! lets Party!

Fortunately, the hunky, scantily-clad waitstaff are still here. Zach, be a love and fetch our new Leader an adult beverage of his choice.

Fetch him an adult of his choice, as well.

As Deputy Leader of the LMB, I am very concerned at some of the recent discussion of some of our number joining a dissenting organisation.

The LMB has been through tough times before, most recently such crises as the Invasion and the encounter with Sol Invictus and the 52, but we have always held together.

On behalf of our Leader, Joe-Boy/Kid Marvel, I ask any LMBer who is considering joining the LVMBP to speak to either of us. We would like to know your concerns and see if we can address them.

Thank you for your kind attention.

There IS no more deputy leader!

There IS no more leader!

There is only your OVERLORD!

Jumpin Gee Willikers! Now this guy definately seems like a villain!

I know you know it Rocky, but I stand by you and Kid Marvel!

Thank you, Cobie. I knew we could count on you. Kid Marvel seems to have taken care of this self-proclaimed overlord for the moment, at least.

The one I'm really concerned about is Frio. I guess she took the election really hard. I don't understand it. She hung at the Rookery a lot. She and I had a pretty good friendship, what with our joining the LMB at about the same time and having similar powers and all. I got to know her pretty well, but I never saw this coming. I'm entertaining any ideas as to how to help her.

You're a good man, Rocky. *sniff* It's... so hard to have a friend just... turn like that. Best friend. Since we were kids! I-- I don't understand. I just hope we can figure out how to help her... and that she'll want that help when the time comes.

And you know I got your back. You and Joey. The Security Office fully supports your administration. Don't worry, we'll get this loser.

Unfortunately, Frio won't be wanting or needing your help anymore, dear sister and friends.

Perhaps I can speak to her for all of you, to at least give you an opportunity to reach her. At a cost of course.

A wise witch once told me, "In deals with the devil, you always get burned." However, desperate times...

Tell us what your price is and perhaps we can work something out.

Well, maybe, just maybe, she's seen the light and decided that there is a better way.

You too could find that better way if you would just open your eyes and see.

Cali, I don't like these people and I don't trust them. There's no guarantee that they'll let you contact Frio and they may try to harm you as well. Be careful.

Whichever "Kid Marvel" you refer to is irrelvant.

I am here, this thread is mine, Legion World is mine.

Yeah, yeah. Kryptonian. Vulnerable to magic, blah, blah. FREEZE!

<The "Overlord" is encased in a block of magic ice>

Someone haul this iceberg out of my office. Thank you.

Oh, I can think of about two things I want. The first, which should be obvious, is I want an increase in my money. But I don't want payment...I want some of those stock tips Tamper Lad hordes that allow him to increase his fortunes so easily.

The second...well...lets just say this. If I can guarantee Frio will be turned back to the side of 'good'...well, I need a guarantee that I'll have a lawfully wedded companion to spend my time with here on peaceful Legion World. Which means no more engagements for you--to Tamper Lad or Actor Lad.

<brushes ice off like it was a thin dusting of powder>

Bah! A pathetic attempt. I did not come here without finding immunity to all your feeble "powers."

If you wish to retain custodianship over this humble rookery, Rockhopper, you will do so only under my authority.

Until that time comes, which it won't, I will thank you to leave the premises. Harming the LMB's Deputy Leader would hardly be a way to win over any people to your side.

And, make no mistake, the LMB will triumph in the end.

I don't have Tamper Lad's tips and, even if I did, it wouldn't be my place to give them to you. I'll... speak with him on the matter, though. For Frio, I'm sure we can come to some sort of understanding.

As for the second part of you offer... I... (God, this pains me so but...) ...accept. (I'm so sorry, Actor Lad.) If you bring me back Frio, I will... *flinch* ...marry you.

We always do. Especially in the face of adversity. And don't worry, Rocky. I recognize a serpent when I see one. (And God how I hate that slipper bastard.)

Then we have a deal...my dear. I will do whatever I can in my power to help bring Frio back to the side of good...and then you will fulfill your end of the arrangement.

Goodbye my dear fiance, until we meet again...

<flies off>

Cali, are you sure about this? <puts a hand on her shoulder> Do you really want to *ugh* marry this--this person? I trust him as far as I can throw an asteroid.

*crying* No but I-- she's my sister. *blows nose* I've gotta... I have to go. *sniff* (Not even a visit to the old West will cheer me up now. But I guess it's better than moping around forever.) Bye, Rocky. And... and, thanks for everything. (How am I going to explain this to Actor Lad?)

*flames on and flies away, still crying*

<Time Teller Lad enters Rockhopper Lad's office>

TTL:Rocky, you have an appointment the Winathian Ambassador in an hour.

RhLad:Thanks, Tim. *sighs* I'm really concerned about Cali. And, I can't explain it, but when I froze that Kryptonian a while ago, I felt like there was someone else around using the Ice Magic.

TTL: Well, maybe it was Rockhopper Lass.

RhLad: I don't think so. I spoke with Adelie a while ago and she hasn't used her powers all day. She and I are the only Rockhoppers on Legion World. None of the other Pyngwyny here have the Ice Magic.

TTL: There are other LMBers with ice powers aren't there?

RhLad: There's Icefire, Polar Boy and Frio that I know of and none of them have magic-based powers. There's just something not right.

Now that I don't have to worry about the Deputy Leader stuff, I can concentrate on this being a resort and centre of Pyngwyny culture again.

Of course, I will be holding a special reception in honour of our newly elected Leader, Fat Cramer, and Deputy Leader, Dedman!

Oh yes, my entire staff--including my personal secretary, Lad Boy, who has had the cushiest job imaginable--are welcome to stay on and keep their jobs. The Rookery is owned by the Pyngwyny Crown, so you all still have cushy government jobs.

{The Pyngwyn Prince is sitting in his study, rubbing Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle on the tummy.}

*Sigh* It's so lonely here at the Rookery since Adelie went away, Hyvvie. I'm glad you're here. (He leans over to kiss Hyvvie, who returns the favour with a lick on Rockhopper Lad's face.}

I'm sure she's okay, but if even your Nose of Wonder can't find her, then she must be off Legion World.

Then there's the LMB. Fat Cramer and Dedman are doing a great job, but the team's just spread so thin these days. And Lardy! The poor thing! I know what it's like to have lost a love. I've tried to talk to him, but every time I've brought it up, he's said he was all right and appreciated my concern.

{Time Teller Lad enters the study}
TTL: Rocky, are you all right?

RhL: I'm fine, Tim. I'm just mulling things over with Hyvvie. I'm not sure where things are going these days.

{Rockhopper Lad's Omnicom signals}
RhL: This is Rockhopper Lad.

{Cobalt Kid appears on the Omnicom}

CK: Rocky, we have a situation at the Security Office that I'd like you, as current Chair of the Legion of Former Deputies, to assist with.
{Cobie explains about the explosion at SHAKES and Lardy's pursuit of the Royal Inquisitor}

RhL: I'll be right there, Cobie. And, if it's all right, I'll bring some assistance.

CK: The more the merrier. Cobie out.

RhL: Tim, Hyvvie, we're going to the Security Office.

[rings door chime]

[door opens]

<click>Mister Rockhopper Lad...are you here? Did you get this unit's message from Time Teller Lad? Hello?<click>

[Time Teller Lad relays a message from Eudyptes]

<click>Mister Rockhopper Lad is where? He is one of the master's closest friends! Give me his coordinates, and I will help!<click>

[Time Teller complies]

<click>Many thanks, friend!<click>

[ disappears ]

pop

Time Teller Lad...are you here? I need to speak with you about Rocky...and a certain robot.

Hello?

Here I am, Lard Lad. I'm sorry. One of the clocks was 1.7 seconds off. What can I help you with?

Oh! Hi there!

Look, Time Teller Lad...I've been looking for Rocky, but I know he's been away...

...tell me, have you seen him with a robot recently...one who looks like me?

Not for three days, seventeen hours and twenty-two minutes.

{Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle enters}

Hey, Hyvvie, where'd Rocky go?

Hyvvie: He was in a little cottage in the woods and then he was about to go down a Path with the Lard Lad Robot and the Royal Inquisitor when he sent me back here.

TTL: Why didn't you tell me this before.

Hyvvie: You didn't ask.

TTL: Can you find them?

Hyvvie (sniffing the ground): The cottage interferes with my Nose of Wonder. I don't know about the Path. Either it interferes too or they're not on Legion World.

I need to know more about the robot, guys. You see I need to know if it's the one I'm looking for. The one Hyvvie found, which was destroyed, was definitely not the one.

There are two others: one in Slim's club and the other is with Rocky...<just now comprehends what Hyvvie said> and Royal Inquisitor? Crap!

My robot...well, it's no ordinary robot. Did either of you see or hear anything that can help me determine whether this was the one?

{TTL looks at Hyvvie and both shrug}

I didn't see him, Lardy (I may call you Lardy, yes?) and Hyvvie doesn't see, to know much about him either.

Hyvvie: He was kind of mopey. And he seemed a little disconnected with what was going on around him.

TTL: Does that help?

Maybe...yes, I think so. You see...the robot is sort of infused with part of the soul of someone I cared about, someone who's gone. And that person was very naive and very innocent.

I need to find Babette. Have either of you heard anything about the robot and Babette?

Just cause I'm in a mood. Not my creations.

Thanks, Scott! They're fabulous!!!

It's good to know that I'm not the only person in the universe who thinks a penguinoid super-hero makes sense!

John, here's something you can have to help with the diet. Eggplant Penguins.

Aww! They're adorable! Thanks!

Is that a Barry, Wally or Bart Pyngwyn?

(Rocky, Tim and Hyvvie return to the Rookery after their adventure with the Five Faces of Death ).

Rocky: Oh, guys, it's so good to be home! (Bows to a servant-Pyngwyn) Please, set up Mr Temp's room for him and then, please draw me a nice, hot bath.

Servant (returns bow): Yes, my lord. And, my lord?

Rocky: Yes?

Servant: Welcome, home.

Rocky: Thank you! (servant exits) Hyvvie, what are you into?

(The Wonder Beagle is sniffing at a crest-clip, a barrette-like accessory worn by some Pyngwyny women, that is sitting on the floor).

Rocky: Adelie? There's a note. (Picks it up) It says "Soon".

Tim: That's it?

Rocky: That's it! Is it Adelie's clip, Hyvvie?

(Hyvvie sniffs at it and nods).

Tim: So when is she coming back?

Rocky: Soon, I guess.

<drunk, Clive staggers until noticing a familiar building>

...the Rucker...Racker...Rocker.......Rocky's place...

...'sa nice guy...could stanna seeya frennly face right now...

<rings door chime>

Sffenyskus, Rocky's servant-Pyngwyn, again answers the door.

Sffenyskus: May I help you?

Clive: 'sRocky home?

Sffenyskus: My Lord has retired for the evening.

Clive: So's he home?

Sffenyskus: (rolls eyes) I assume from your state of inebriation that you are one of his LMB compatriots.

Clive: Yeah. (sits in a chair in the lobby) Tell him Clive is here.

Sffenyskus begins to tell Clive to leave, but, knowing Rocky's friends, he sighs and calls Rocky.

Sffenyskus (on omnicom): My Lord? Ah, Mr. Hyfrydol*, might I please talk to my Lord. We have a visitor. (long pause while Hyvvie wakes Rocky) My Lord, I apologise for calling so late, but there is a human here to see you. He seems rather intoxicated. (pause) Yes, that's right. He called himself "Clive". (pause) Yes, my Lord.
(returns to Clive)
My Lord will be here shortly, sir.

Clive: Thank kew, uh, what's yer name?

Sffenyskus: Sffenyskus, sir.

Clive: Thank you, Thnefithkus.

(Presently Rocky and Hyvvie arrive)

Rocky: Clive? How are you doing? Sffenyskus, could you please get Clive a glass of water.

Sffenyskus: Of course, my Lord. (out of earshot) You'll need more than a glass.

Clive: I'm good. No, I'm not. Ida know.

(Sffenyskus returns with a pitcher of water and a glass). Rocky: Well, here. Thank you, Sffenyskus. (Rocky bows to Sffenyskus, who responds in kind) Drink this water. I'll have Sffenyskus fix up a room for you. (puts arm around Clive). What happened?

Clive: I-I. Rocky, has a woman ever broken your heart?

Rocky: (chuckles) Not a woman, no; I prefer men. Actually, I've only be seriously involved once and he...(trails off)...it ended tragically.

Clive: Oh. (Covers his mouth) Oh! (grabs a wastebasket and proceeds to get sick in it).

(Sffenyskus looks at the wastebasket and then at Clive and Rocky)

Rocky: Don't worry, Sffenyskus. I'll clean it up.

*Note: Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle's full name is Hyfrydol.

Sorry...Mister Rockhopper...ooohhh...I actually feel a little better now...

<helps Rocky clean up his sick>

I-I'm so confused...like I would've been much happier staying an android.

<after they finish, the two take a seat>

<Clive drinks his water>

I know my 'mom and dad' meant the best for me with their gift, but Babette...who I think I was in love with...wants nothing to do with me now that I'm human! I don't understand why it's important to her, Mr. Rockhopper. My feelings sure didn't change!

<eyes welling with tears>

What would you do if you were me?

(Rocky thinks a moment and puts an arm around Clive. Hyvvie puts his head in Clive's lap).

Clive, a whole lot has hit you all at once, maybe you just need to give Babette--and yourself--some time and space. Getting used to your human body will take some time. It has limitations that your android body didn't. It can only take so much alcohol, for instance. Maybe what you need is to take some time to get to know who Clive is as a human.

Lard Lad thought very highly of you, you know. I wonder...may I stay here at the Rookery with you for a while?

Well, of course, Clive. You can stay here as long as you like. We have plenty of room. As I said earlier, I know your dad would want me to look out for you. Your dad is--was a really good guy, Clive. A little, ah, earthy sometimes, perhaps, but a big heart.

(Sffenyskus re-enters to let them know that Clive's room is ready).

Here, Clive, I'll show you to where you'll be staying. And, of course, let Hyvvie or me know if you need anything.

I appreciate this very much, Mr. Rockhopper. Becoming human was very sudden and unexpected...most people have a lifetime to get used to it! Somehow, instinctively, I knew this is where I needed to go. I believe Lard Lad valued your friendship very highly, and I can clearly see why.

I will be a model houseguest, sir...I promise!

<rubs eyes>

But for now...I think I need to get some rest. I-I can't thank you enough for this!

<hugs Rocky>

Goodnight, my friend.

<retires to his room>

<enters>

Good morn to all!

<bows before Sffenyskus>

Greetings, sentient. I am Sir Roy, a friend of your Lord, who I am now bound to as well. Of the many regal families that live on Legion World, I have bound myself to all of them, and now nobly serve the Prince of the Pyngwyn Colonies and the Lord of the Noble House of Hrun. The method I shall do this, is by being a member of the Legion of Message Board Posters.

<smiles>

Now forgive me for being wordy, but I am still growing accustomed to interactions such as these. What I mean is: 'is Rockhopper Lad around? He asked me to come by.'

Ah, Sir Roy, thank you for coming. As you'll recall, during our voyage on the Path to the Tower, I, in my capacity as heir apparent to the Throne of the Pyngwyn Colonies, conferred upon you a knighthood, on behalf of my father, the Emperor Pyngwyn, Eudyptes XXVIII. And I have here the papers certifying you as Sir Roy of Legion World and present you with your Pyngwyny coat of arms. The House of Rockhopper is grateful to you for your service.

Also, upon your marriage, Quislet, Esq. will gain a courtesy title as your spouse. In the Pyngwyn Colonies, he would be called Lord Quislet of Legion World. Use of this title away from the Pyngwyn Colonies would be totally optional, of course.

Okay, enough of the formality. Now we'll have a party to celebrate our safe return from the Tower and your knighthood and to welcome my new resident.

(A crashing noise is heard nearby) Did I mention that Clive will be staying here at the Rookery for a while?

Uh...hi, Sir Roy...um...Mister Rockhopper, my equilibrium is a little thrown off, now that I'm, er, suddenly human and...

<holds up some broken pieces>

I...hope this vase wasn't particularly priceless...

(Sighs, then chuckles). Don't worry about it, Clive. It's from the Pyngwyn Colonies IKEA.

And another year has come and gone!

Pop in for some holiday cheer and some goodies of the edible and potable varieties--not to mention the Rookery's comely waitstaff.

Sit down, relax and enjoy this holiday season here at the Rookery!

I'll drink to that!

Gwendolyn, a libation for Mr Shakespeare, please.

More Holiday drinks, I'm still smarting from the charity ball.

Where are all the novelty nelly hats, Rocky?

I love those little sardines on toothpicks.

Oh! asparagus wrapped in proscuitto with a asiago dipping sauce!

I've never done a shot of an ice luge that size before!

Marianne, Naomi, please attend to Mssrs. Tamper and Cobalt. Zach, please see what Ms. Cramer would like. 1001100110110010, please see to the algorithm.

Mmm? Oh, hey, baby! Come here often?

No? Would you like to?

010011100110111101110111001000000110010001101111011011100111010000100000011000010110110001101100011011110111011100100000011010000110100101101101001000000111010001101111001000000110 010001101111001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000011101010110111001101100011001010111001101110011001000000110100001100101001000000110001001100101011010000110000101110110 01100101011100110010111000100000


For a translation see Binary Translation

Ah, Faraway, a Happy Christmas to you. Vanessa, please take care of Mr. Faraway.

Your Highness is a most kind and noble host and Vanessa has been very attentive. Yet it is with sadness that I must take a short leave of absence to attend to some diplomatic negotiations. If I may I would like to return a little later?

Of course. Drop in as you're able. The party goes on through the full Twelve Days of Christmas.

And as the Twelve Days wind down, the party ends with a special birthday celebration for the Sentinel of the Rookery: Happy Birthday to Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle! Please join in some canine-friendly goodies!



[interlude]
In real life it is indeed Hyvvie's fifth birthday. If that's not a reason to celebrate, I don't know what is!
[/interlude]

Yay, Hyvvie! *pats the pup*



Celebrations indeed!

Ah, Cali, fab to have you here.

Daniel, please get Miss Caliente a libation.

Ooh, libations. Sweet!

By the way, Rocky, I've been meaning to tell you how much I adore your new avatar. Where did it come from?

About a year and a half ago, I commissioned a drawing of Rockhopper Lad from a young lady who was an artist who was working for me as a page at the library at the time. She gave me two, one which I used as my avatar for about a year till I went to the Joeboy drawing I used till recently and the other which I'm using now.

Alas, I've lost touch with her, but I'm sure she'd be glad to know that the bonus drawing is being used.

Hmmm...party's over, huh? Was Gladys here? I have a crush on her! Think it could work out between an auto-response algorithm and a sentient disco ball?

The party is never really over at the Rookery! Gladys is right over there in the corner chatting with Old Dutch the Super Cow.

Stranger things have happened than a relationship between an auto-response algorithm and a sentient disco ball, although I must admit that even for Legion World that is a bit unusual.

Happy belated birthday Hywie. Any biscuits left?

mmmmm.....biscuits....

I'll have some of those Fig Rolls please, they go very well with a nice cup of Earl Gray.

Mr. Rockhopper? May I use your Rookery for my campaign HQ since, right now, you have allowed me to reside here...and I don't really have the means, or any place of my own, at the moment?

Mi casa es su casa, Clive.

Good luck!

Oh gawd...don't encourage the twerp, Rocky! :rolleyes:

Ignore the rude algorithm, Mr. Rockhopper.

I thank you for your continued kindness!

For those of you who don't know me let me introduce myself and my campaign platform:

My name is Clive Taylor, and I am one-year old! I was created just over a year ago in the aftermath of the Crisis known as "Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis" . During that dark time, Lard Lad lost someone very special to him, an imperfect Lard Lad clone known cruelly as HUGEMANBREASTS, or "Hugh" as Lardy affectionately called him.

Lardy was overcome with grief and enlisted the aid of his then-fiancee Dru the Sorceress to find a way of giving Hugh a second chance. They constructed a robot identical to Lard Lad (and Hugh), and Dru cast a very special spell over it that imbued it with a piece of Hugh's soul. They gave it an overlying personality program loosely based on Lard Lad's to give it a baseline for learning and relating.

After Dru and Lardy were married and left to live on Zerox, they left the robot here on Legion World to give it a chance to find its own way. I identified myself to other citizens as "Lard Lad Robot", and I attempted to assimilate among the LMB and make them feel safe knowing there was still a 'Lard Lad' around.

However, I soon began being attacked at all turns by various robots to the point that I had to go into hiding. At some point several other non-sentient Lard Lad Robots were either destroyed in a case of mistaken identity or used as decoys to try to flush me out.

For months I hid and fought attempts by the foreign intelligence behind my troubles to take over my mind. The foreign intelligence was later revealed to be the Computer Tyrant, one of the evil influences that have controlled Earth for some time and who was working with a conclave of various LMBP enemies who were collectively known as the Five Faces of Death.

Eventually, the Tyrant was able to subvert my developing, immature emotions to take over my mind and body. It needed my unique combination of artificial intelligence and soul to dominate all of the technology on Legion World.

Sadly, it took the returned (and widowed) Lard Lad to defeat the Tyrant. First, he had to deactivate my body; then he sacrificed his life to destroy the Tyrant altogether.

But before Lardy died, he left a will that included a backup chip to restore me completely. And when I learned of his death, I received another gift he and Dru had prepared for me when I was created. I experienced profound grief, my first mature emotion, and the enchantment they prepared transformed my robotic form into this adult human form.

It was a great gift, and I hope to use it to--

Bor-ing!

Ignore the rude algorithm, if you please!

Anyhow...as to why I'm running:

I feel that the incident on 01/11/3008 was a portent of great calamity. I was warned that 3500 was a bad omen, and, sure enough, when the Lard Lad algorithm hit post 3500, we lost a day which no one remembers happening. And something much worse may happen when he hits 4000!

My primary goals as leader would be to: 1) use every resource we have to find out what caused 01/11/08 and 2) prevent another possibly worse cataclysm from ever occurring again!

And, oh yes: 3) To stop the random slaughter of the waffles! I find that absolutely reprehensive!

I will announce more of my platform as the election process continues. Meanwhile, enjoy the crushed ice beverages..."slushies"...that my congenial host has prepared!

<sips a slushie...sniffs it>

Hmph! Virgin slushies, I see.

As pure and untouched as you, Clive. Do we really want a virgin as LMBP leader, folks?

Alright, algorithm...I've read the election rules, and there are absolutely NO requirements regarding viginity or lack thereof! Yes, I'm a virgin--and there's NOTHING wrong with that!!!

I believe the real Lard Lad would be ashamed of you for your treatment of me!

Whatever, Cherry Boy. I think I'll go check out Nova's place. I doubt I'll find any unicorns prancing about over there!

Later!

Wow! So have you been in grief mode ever since, or do you occasionally experience other emotions?

Clive, I've made arrangements with the Rookery staff--including our comely waitstaff--and they are at your disposal.

Er, if you want to attract LMB votes, I'm afraid those Slushies you love aren't quite going to do it. I've arranged for an open bar and a buffet.

Remember what I told you about moderation? For the moment, let's let that rule slide a bit. Most of these LMB types prefer overindulgence. You dad kind of set the tone for that, I think.

Meantime, Melissa, could you please fetch Clive a soft drink? Thank you!

Clive, I just wanted to wish you good luck. If Faraway opts not to run, I'll keep you in mind for my support.

Too late! Well, good luck anyway.

Thanks for asking Ms. Cramer. I'm learning the full spectrum of emotions, positive and negative...not just grief. I'm a bit of a "newbie" at them, but Mr. Rockhopper seems to feel they aren't being felt by me in extremes. for example, when Babette dumped me a while back, he says I took it pretty well under the circumstances, considering she was the first girl I ever liked.

As always, I appreciate your generosityand kindness, Mr. Rockhopper.

And, yes, I understand that the LMB appreciates alcoholic beverages. I honestly can't understand why! I mean, it felt great while I was under its influence after Babette dumped me, but honestly--I can't understand why anyone would ever drink it again after all the vomiting and the 'hangover' the next day! Honestly!

My guests, the beverages are here for you, but forgive me if I don't join you and stick to the slushies instead!

I appreciate the sentiments, Mr. Shakespeare and understand your decision. Mr. Darden is a good man and was a very good friend to my father--I might vote for him myself!

I need to forget all this inane electioneering. The promises hurt my head. Pass the vodka slush.

Mix me up a bacon and egg slush!

It's even better with cheddar and hot sauce.

Clive,

Drinks are good, but people also need food. See if Fat Cramer will have something sent over from Cafe Cramer.

Quis, Mr. Rocky's wait staff is preparing something positively delectable as we speak!

Mr. Rocky will announce when it's ready--it won't be long!

Mmmmm shashimi...

Well, of course, there's a yummy buffet ready.

We've got several of the Rookery's specialties, including fresh seafood, transmattered in thrice daily.

Bon appétit!

My friends, sushi is served!

And sushi shooters at the bar!

No one does sushi and sushi shooters like our Pyngwyny friends!

Mmmmm raw oysters.

My molluskoid boyfriend dumped me because I prefered eating raw oysters over going out with him. You didn't invite Squiddy from the embassy did you?

Oh, heavens, no. That wouldn't be a good idea if I'm ever to get another chance for a date with you.

<sheepishly turns away from her and faces Rocky>

So Mister Rockhopper...do you think I've a better chance of winning the election or getting a second chance with Miss Roni? Gosh, but I need some dating advice!

Hmm. My only real relationship was with Openly Gay Lad and that--well his getting killed kind of kept it from lasting very long. And I know absolutely nothing about dating women. I'm sure there's someone out here in LMB-land who can give you some dating advice, Clive. Perhaps Cobie?

Fellow Legion Worlders, I appreciate your votes and will use my new position as co-deputy to do everything I can to protect our home from whatever forces dare to threaten it!

Congratulations, Clive. As a former Deputy Leader myself, I know the office has its strains. I know you and Nova Girl will find ways of supporting each other, and, of course, I am always at your disposal for advice if needed.

You are a great friend to me Mister Rocky, and I'll always appreciate your great generosity!

Now...where's my throneroom going to be?

Kidding!

{Tim enters Clive's office}

Hey, Clive! Rocky took Hyvvie to see the Super Veterinarian...of Space and asked me to check to see if you need anything. Is there anything I can help you with?

It's been a looong day, Tim. They really work deputies like dogs! Can't imagine what it was like for Rocky, not having a co-deputy.

<taking off his boots>

But since you asked...how about a foot rub?

er...<chuckles awkwardly>...just kidding, of course.

Actually, Clive, I'll have you know that I give the best footrubs in explored space. I tried giving Rocky one once, six months and twelve days ago, but it's kind of hard with webbed feet and all.

{Starts rubbing Clive's soles} There we go. Now just relax. That's right. I should have you totally relaxed in four minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

<four minutes, thirty seven seconds later>

...mmmm...that was....righteous....

<stretches>

I've got to return the favor, Tim! I know nothing about massages, but...how about a coffee...at Cramer's?

Sure. We can catch the Rookery shuttle into town. It only takes nineteen minutes and twelve seconds to get there and then...

Sorry, Clive. Sometimes when I get a little nervous I start getting more obsessive about time than usual.

Let's go get that coffee.

<'ports them both to Cramer\'s >

A note arrives:

Hile dear friend and Noble Prince,

I have returned to Legion World, and it seems at the same time as our good friend Hrun the Barbarian.

Come join us for some festivities. We are now at the Office of Security, but hopefully shall move somewhere less familiar to myself, if you catch my meaning.

Be sure to invite Clive and Time Teller Lad, as its been too long since our last meeting, and we all should toast to our camraderie during the Path.

- Roy

I'm concerned for Legion World.

There are strange things afoot. People don't trust each other. I see fear in people's eyes that shouldn't be there.

Even Clive and Tim have become angry. I don't know what I can do to help them.

This isn't the Legion World I know. What's wrong with everybody? Is there some evil force at work here?

People are just getting antsy because it's an election year.

Actually, HWW, we are overdue for the LMB leader election. I was Deputy Leader once. I wonder if I should run again.

That depends.

Are you morally upright? Can you uphold the honor and never-ending glory that is Legion World?

Oh, Mr. Rockhopper, Tim and I aren't angry. We're just fighting the fight for what's good and pure in a Legion World gone morally corrupt?

Is that so wrong?

Legion World stands on the cusp of a great turning point. Sometimes old wounds unhealed must be broken anew so they may heal right.

And sometimes in order to get rid of bad blood, you must spill it.

<enters dramatically, opening both double doors>

Lord of the Pyngwyn, I return to thee once more! And thankfully find you here, as I had hoped.

<eyes others present and lowers his voice so only Rockhopper Lad can hear>

For Legion World seems greatly changed once more since I last journeyed forth and it seems worrisome. Since the change within me upon the path, I have ever looked to you for guidance, and hope to do so again. Something else else is amiss here on Legion World, yet it is difficult to discern. Surely not so many great Legionnaires would succumb to violence, threats or worse--madness?

Pyngwyns can DooWop ?

This infernal realm of ice and snow will have to be the first to go, to be replaced with my ever shifting sands of time

<sleeping off his booze in one of Rocky's guest rooms>

[pokes Lardy gently, then insistently -- no response but continued snoring]

Hee hee!

[using a magic marker, draws some interesting things and writes some naughty words on Lardy's face]

<wakes up>

Oooohhhhh, my HEAD......

<looks around>

I'm in the Rookery!

Wh-what happened last night?

You don't think....?

[looks at all the empty cans of bi-beer lying around]

I do think!

(Rocky enters Lardy's room with a breakfast tray).

Morning, Lardy. I hope you're feeling better. A good breakfast should help you out!

Lardy, what's wrong?

Oh...nothing...

I think Stu's having a bit of fun with me, unless....

...er, Rocky, did I have any bi-beer last night?

[an inexplicable wave of jealousy washes over Stu]

You were drinking tequila shots when I came in. I don't know if you'd been drinking something else before. He Who Wanders' Law of Mixing applies to this universe, so any ill effects that would come from drinking beer before liquor wouldn't be a problem.

Why do you ask?

Oh, I dunno...I'm naked in this bed, here. And, er, I seem to recall telling you I love you last night, so...

<blushes>

Where's that chainsaw I saw around here the other day? I feel a strange urge to fire it up...

Lardy! Do you really think I'd take advantage of you in your inebriated state? I brought you back here to the Rookery and put you to bed. I carried you here for Dywh's sake, which, even with my Pyngwyny strength, is quite something! I removed your clothes because I thought you'd be more comfortable. Now, here, have some tea and toast.

Easy, Rocky, easy....

I wasn't accusing you of anything, exactly. More like kinda...accusing myself, I guess....

er...

<suddenly, dives into breakfast>

Well, I'm glad to see it hasn't affected your appetite.

And I'm not angry with you, old friend, but sometimes I don't understand how you humans can get so caught up about gender. Would sleeping with another male be the end of the world?

No, Rocky...it wouldn't. I'm just so messed up that I wouldn't wish myself on anybody at this time, certainly not a great guy like yourself.

All the memory loss, my past, my need for revenge against Cobalt--anyone I'd sleep with, I'd be using, pure and simple.

My--my head's just all over the place, now, Rocky. I don't know how I feel about, well, hardly anything. I'm certainly not ready for any kind of relationship beyond the extremely casual, right now.

I don't wanna hurt anybody I care about who might be looking for more.

So, uh, can I have seconds?

Of breakfast? Sure. I'll have Sffenyskus bring up some more.

As for me...(sighs)...I don't know. I had the real thing with Blaine--Openly Gay Lad. I know he's been gone a long time now, but I think Hyvvie's the only guy I'll be sharing a bed with for the foreseeable future.

Then, of course, there's Tim and Clive...

Shit--is Clive here?!?! He's the last person I want to see, right now!

Not because of any embarassment, Rocky...Clive is just so beligerent towards me and always insisting I'm a fake and a threat!

Fact is, I don't even know him! My memory gap--includes the time where I supposedly created him. I guess I have no more reason to trust him than he does me!

Is...is he here...in the Rookery right now?

No, he and Tim went away for a few days. I don't know. Clive's a good kid, but he's so naive--and this is me saying it! I'm just concerned for him.

Yeah, he's kinda "out there". I hope Tim knows what he's gotten into.

What about me, Rocky? You knew me before I died...are there things about me that concern you since I returned?

The thing that I'm concerned about the most, honestly, is the enmity between you and Cobie. You two were best friends before.

(sighs)

But, as much as I care about both of you, I guess that's none of my business.

I've gotta do what's right, Rocky. And what's right is to bring out the truth.

It's taking a long time, but I will persevere.

I appreciate your friendship and how you're not all judgemental about me.

Anyhow, I'm feeling better, and breakfast really hit the spot. I don't wanna outstay my welcome (or be here when Clive returns).

<looks around>

er, are my clothes nearby?

<blushes>

Hey, where'd Rocky go? And where are my damn clothes?!?! NAKED, here!!!!

Here they are, Lardy. I took the liberty of having them washed and pressed for you. I hope they turned out all right. We Pyngwynyy don't wear clothes, after all, so my staff isn't that used to laundry. Undergarments don't get starched, right? Or is it that they do?

Nah, no starch, Rocky.

<not one for shyness, he puts on his underwear and pants right then>

Thanks! It's inadvisable for me to 'port when I'm really hung over...I tend to reappear in places I didn't intend to.

<shrugs>

Naked Lardy's not all that uncommon a sight around Legion World--I did make some pornos after all--but since I became a Security Officer, I've tried to keep it all on the down-low.

<puts on one of his boots>

I hear a lot of bad things about how I was between the time I returned from Dark Oval space--right before the Invasion--right up until I died. That would be the period in which you met me...

<puts other boot on>

...what was I like? Do I deserve the flack I'm getting for that time?

When I first met you, you were a bit rough around the edges, but you were all right. I always thought you were kind of sweet, really. Then after Dru passed away, you became--distant. I tried to talk to you about it--after all, I'd also lost my love--but you didn't want to.

I hope that's helpful.

Yeah, I guess so. Hard to believe I married a woman who had been one of the LMB's worst enemies!

<puts on shirt>

From what I've heard though, she honestly reformed, and we were really in love.

<dons cape>

Never thought I'd settle down, but there were only two women who I thought it would be possible to do so with some day.

<puts on headband>

I wonder whatever happened to Helen...and Pru...

<adjusts view lenses>

Do you have any idea about them, Rocky?

No, not really. I think I met Pru during the Invasion--or maybe I heard about her at that time. I don't really remember. That was when Blaine was killed. He and I weren't together very long, honestly, but I've never felt that way about anyone before--nor have I since.

I think that's how you said you felt about Dru--but that was also a long time ago, I guess.

I'm sorry you lost someone you loved, Rocky. In my case I don't remember...and I'm not sure if I ever want to or not.

<looks Rocky in the eyes as Rocky is clearly remembering Blaine>

So which is it, friend--better to have loved and lost...or never to have loved at all?

I--I don't really know.

That line is from a human poet, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, who lived back in your Nineteenth Century in a country called England. He wrote it after the death of his best friend--some say lover. I read that poem after Blaine died. I found comfort in it.

I'm glad I had my time with Blaine. It's harder knowing that there's an evil double of him from this universe somewhere with my evil double from his.

I hope you can remember your time with Dru. You deserve those memories. And I hope somehow you can also find a way to reconcile with Cobie and Clive. Life is too short and too precious.

I...wouldn't hold out for reconciliations, there, Rocky.

Clive? Well, I just don't know him.

Des? I considered him the best friend a man could have--and then he did what he did. There's no going back....

<bows head>

I think I'm destined to be alone, Rocky.

<looks up, nods>

Thanks for everything. I mean that.

<sqeezes Rocky's shoulder, then 'ports out>

(Rocky sighs after Lardy departs. Then speaks, ostensibly to the absent Lardy)

No, Lardy, you're not destined to be alone. None of us are. Another of your poets put it this way:

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Omnicom message:

Well, another year has come and gone.

Please stop in any time in the next twelve days for some festive holiday cheer!

The scantily-clad waitstaff will be more than happy to fetch you a libation. There is a groaning buffet table with all sorts of goodies.

And so a toast! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Merry Christmas, Rocky, and thank you.

My, but you do hire the best-looking waitstaff.

You there, with the great head of hair, get me a Tab. Make it quick and I might have a special tip for you.

Thank you, Stealth. After you get your bevvie, please do help yourself to some of these yummies at the buffet.

Love to. I've got my eye on those Christmas-decorated cookies...

Oh, Man ! I hate being late. Did anyone save me a couple of Mom's cheese mini-puffs ? Can't have a holiday without those !

No need to fret about tardiness, Cleome. This shindig lasts till Twelfth Night--also the birthday of Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle.

Daniel, please fetch Ms. Cleome a libation of her choice. Thank you!

And, with the birthday of the Wonder Beagle, another year's celebration winds down. There's still plenty of food and drink to go round. Eat, drink and be merry, for the day after tomorrow, we diet.

{Tim staggers into the Rookery in tears}
Rocky? Rocky? Are you here? {He collapses onto the floor, sobbing}

Tim! How are you, sweetie? I've missed you! What's wrong, Tim? {Put his hand on Tim's shoulder} Tim? Is it Clive?

{Sobs} Oh, Rocky! I don't know what happened! Clive--he's--he's not right! {Sobs again} I had to leave.

<'ports in>

Rocky, I need t--

--what the hell! Tim! Are you okay? Rocky, what's going on here?!?!

Lardy, Tim just got here. I don't know exactly what's going on. I've never seen him this upset. {Hold Tim close} Something else else happened with Clive.

<face turns beet-red, fists clench>

I've had it up to here with that lying little snot! Tell us what he did, Tim--I'll wring his friggin' NECK!!!

Clive--he's gone off the deep end. He's talking like some sort of fascist or something. I thought he wanted to wait till things were really serious between us. I thought maybe we were there. I asked him to--well, you know. He exploded. He acted like I wanted him to drink poison or something. He started going on about how I was no different from everyone else and how he wanted to purify the LMB and Legion World. Then he disappeared. I don't know where he went. {Tim sobs again; Rocky holds him tighter and shoots a look to Lardy who looks down at the ground}.

<Lardy wants to go off on a rant but stops himself>

<he sees Rocky's glance and gets the tacit message to leave them be>

I'll...I'll see you two later....

Thank you, Lardy. Please check in with me later on. I'm going to need your help, I know it.

{To Tim} It's all right. Let it out. {Tim sobs loudly as Lardy departs}

<elsewhere>

I swear I'll put an end to Clive's witch hunt before someone else gets hurt!

<instinctively touches his sword's hilt>

<enters>

Hello Tim, Rocky. I've been afraid of this. I was up in those mountains with Tim and Clive not that long ago when we went on a bit of a vacation from Legion World.

Clive is not right, indeed. The entire basis of the trip, I believe, was for him to get me to join him in getting rid of Lardy permanantly. And after our fight, I almost was inclined to go with him. Something else else needs to be done about it, but I don't know what. I'd hope it could be done gently, but I don't know if Lardy will let that happen. The LMB is so fractured these days...

<Rocky finds Lard Lad passed out in one of the Rookery's guest bedrooms that Lardy's used before>

<Rocky gasps as he sees a bloody sword among Lardy's effects on the floor>

<he debates whether to call the Security Office or to wake Lardy and talk to him first>

<wakes up>

R-rocky? I'm at the Rookery?

<rubs head>

Gawd, I feel like crap. I'm sorry, Rocky...I seem to end up here after a bender too many times...

<sees Rocky's concern>

What's wrong, man?

Lardy. {Rocky looks down, says a silent prayer} Lardy, Clive is dead. He was stabbed to death. {Rocky looks at the sword and becomes noticeably anxious} I know you, Lardy. You didn't...Lardy, you know, the Rookery is Pyngwyny soil. I can give you asylum here.

Clive's dead?!?! Shit! I didn't do it...

<thinks hard>

...did I?

<shakes his head>

Crap! Rocky--during the years where my memory gap is, they say I killed some people! What if--what if I did? And, if so, what if that aspect of my personality came out or something last night?

I...got pretty wasted last night. I...was dealing with some feelings I have...not just my anger at Clive. I--don't remember much.

<looks at him earnestly>

Do you know if I've killed before? And--are you sure I didn't kill Clive last night?

I honestly don't know if you've killed anyone. Before I met you, I know you were pretty wild--and with your powers--still...

{Takes a breath} Lardy, I wasn't there. I didn't see who killed Clive. You were very upset with him. Heavens, I was upset with him--disappointed in him, really--but in my heart of hearts, Lardy, I can't believe you killed him.

<notices sword>

Gawd...it's got blood on it.

<looks at Rocky fearfully>

I'll bet you a million credits that's Clive's blood on it! Shit! Either I did this...

<looks doubtful>

...or somebody's framing me...

<remembers something>

...Cobalt, something about Cobalt...

Could he have framed me, Rocky?

Cobie's--Cobie's been attacked too. I don't think he's doing all that much of anything right now except fighting for his life. Lardy, I don't understand all this, but I do know one thing. I've gotten to know the person who is behind the tough exterior you put up. No, Lardy, this wasn't you or Cobie. It was someone else, but I have no idea who.

Well, if you're right, then someone's going through an awful lot of trouble to make me look like I was behing those attacks.

<thinks>

I bet you anything the Security Office is looking for me right now...

<looks at Rocky>

They are. I can see it in your eyes. That's why you offered me asylum right off the bat.

<thinks>

They're liable to hang me out to dry for this--I'll bet they're really tense, especially with their old leader down. I know they still are loyal to Cobalt, and they know I've been after him....

<locks eyes with Rocky>

You've got to be sure about this, Rocky! Giving me asylum would NOT be without consequence, I guarantee you.

I don't want to put you through this if you're not sure--putting you through any misery is the absolute LAST thing I ever want.

So I have to ask...are you sure?

<Exnihil enters into the Rookery, rubbing his head>

Lardy!

Thank god you're here... ugh <slightly doubles over>... sorry... just been released from the infirmary , I had a bad reaction to too much Nutra-sweet earlier.... but that's not important now.

You've got to believe me when I say this, Lardy, but... Cobalt... it was me.

I mean... it was... and it wasn't.

Should I just start at the beginning?

uh...yeah, Ex--that would be helpful...

{Rocky smiles}

One moment, Ex. We have to take care of one thing.

Lardy, no one who has ever sought asylum of the Pyngwyn Colonies for just cause has ever been refused. As loyal as I am to the LMB and Legion World, I am Prince of the Pyngwynyy first and foremost and cannot shirk my duty. And my first duty is this:

{Rockhopper Lad spreads his hands and chants in Pyngwyny:}
Lly, Yy’dyptyyz Krysokom ky Rokk H’por kep D’zant L’yal ky Ollurem’yy Pyngwyny, wyl ff'yylpo dezara m'wlys ky Olluem'yy Pyngwyny ky wyl ffy ff'yylpo dyftor worynn.

Congratulations, Lardy. You are now a subject of the Pyngwyny Crown.

It was the campaign... the stress got to me. I saw a real chance to bring change to Legion World. To usher in a new age... an age of LARD!

It was then when he approached me. No one would get hurt, he said... it was just a harmless "Penetra-Ventriloquism" dart. I was to stand in the crowd as Cobie was making his announcement and, at the key moment, fire the dart. Then he would be ours. We would control the content of rest of Cobie's speech, I intended on having him issue an endorsement of your campaign.

But just as I fired... that's when I saw him. On the grassy knoll... the same one who had approached me...

The Second Shooter!

<Lardy squeezes Rocky's hand in tacit appreciation for what he's done for him as they continue to hear Ex out>

Well, who was it, Ex? Who shot Cobalt Kid?

At first I didn't recognize him... it had been a while.

He was garbed in a purple cloak and said he was a member of an elite cabal. I asked what I should call him, and he just grinned.

"I suppose you could say I'm just 'in time'," he laughed.

"Justin Thyme?" I asked, thinking that was an odd name for a "Second Shooter."

Then it dawned on me who he was. It was the last member to join the elite ranks of Legion World Time Trappers. He was literally, "Just In Time."

As god is my witness, Lardy... it was STU!

STU? No way!

Ex, STU loves Cobalt Kid like a brother--the way I used to! STU would no sooner kill Cobalt than I would--even after all that Cobalt's done to me!

Maybe, just maybe...someone wanted you to think it was him....

<Suddenly, just outside the Rookery, and out of the line of sight, another Exnihil winks in from the future . He watches as Ex from the past strides away>


Oh... past self... if only they had listened to you and your oblique cry for help, none of this would have happened. Now... I don't know... I think it's too lat.... ARRRGGGHHH


<drops to his knees, as another paroxysm of pain rushes through his head. He holds his temples with balled up fists as though to stem the tide of suffering. As his eyes cast downward, he sees three droplets of blood freshly fallen on the snow below. With horror, he realizes they're his own, dripping from his nose>


Please... I'm sorry... I won't doubt you again... just stop this pain.


<the pain again wanes, as Ex rises to his feet, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his wrist. Looks down again at where it had fallen>


Oh... of course it is... what a sick sense of humor...


<he digs at the snow where the blood had fallen and pulls out another aged pocket watch. He winds it, and buries it again. As the wind whips across the frozen tundra, Ex shouts directly against it, as if in defiance>


FIVE O'CLOCK, PHINEAS!!!


<he disappears >

Ahem ... sorry to interrupt, but I'm here on Security Office business ... Lard, they've asked me to bring you in for questioning ... say, is that blood on your sword? It's been a while since I've tasted blood ... would you mind if I just ...

<in the doorway>

Its him, alright Sharky. It seemed too easy at first, but usually the answer to most crimes is the obvious one.

You tried to kill him Lardy. You've been hounding him for months after all he did for you, and he wouldn't even tell you the truth because he thought you'd be happier not knowing your past. HE OFFERED HIS HAND TO YOU! And you slapped it away.

And Clive, poor Clive. You killed him too.

<holds up gun to Lard Lad>

I'm sorry Rocky, but this man has never had any respect for intergalatic law before, and I see now reason let him hide behind it too.

Sharky, please stand aside.

This is for Cobie.

<moves to fire>

-----------------Interlude--------------------
PS - This explanation rocks like no ones business!

------End Interlude-------------

Lolita, I will remind you that the Rookery is Pyngwyny ground and Legion World's Security Office has no authority here except what I allow. This man is a subject of the Pyngwyny Crown and it is my duty to protect him. I am not wont to violence, but unless you want an interplanetary incident on your hands--and to be sealed in a block of ice {his hands crackle with Ice Magic}, you and Shark Lad will leave the premises. Now!

"No, Lolita! This ends now!" growled SharkLad, "I would never had tracked Lard Lad here for you if I had known your intention was to shoot him! Lower your gun!!"

"SharkLad! I said leave these premises now!" shouted Rockhopper Lad.

"I'm sorry to involve you in this, Rocky, but ..."

<SharkLad opens his mouth, unleashing his 'Shark Bite' [trademark pending] - a flurry of razor-sharp projectile teeth>

<Rockhopper Lad immediately erects an ice shield between SharkLad and himself and Lard Lad, which deflect the teeth>.

Don't mistake me for one of those helpless little penguins on Earth that sharks are so fond of having as a snack. I will ask you both to leave these premises one more time. Please leave now.

Rockhopper Lad, I have no problem with you--Cobie always spoke so highly of you and you seem to be a great and honorable LMBer. But this...man

<hand shaking>

I don't work for the Security Office anyway anymore...

<suddenly Shark Lad and Rockhopper use powers as depicted in post above>

Lard Lad! Come out here you coward! Come out here!

<hand shaking, lowers gun, starts to cry, putting hand to her eyes and leaning against the wall>

Sharky, Lolita...please leave.

I believe I've been framed for Clive's murder and Cobalt's attack. I--I never wanted to kill anyone...I just wanted everyone to see Cobalt for who he really is. Killing Cobalt doesn't get me that.

<gestures>

Here, take the sword. While I fully expect you to find Clive's blood on it, maybe the killer left some trace of him or herself as well...

I've looked and there's no gun in here, but you can take my clothes for processing.

It's clear that I won't get a fair shake if I go with you, especially since Lolita here wants to execute without so much as my being questioned. So I'm exercising my right as a subject of the Pyngwyny Crown to stay put.

<sighs>

Lolita, you know I could have destroyed that gun or turn it on you with barely a thought...keep that in mind before you jump to conclusions.

Now, will you leave?

<glares at Lard Lad>

I bet you could have. Just like you could kill me if you wanted to.

<looks at blaster; puts it away>

But I'm no murderer...even if I had to come here to see for myself...even if I'm too much of a coward to get even for Cobalt.

You say you didn't do it Lardy, but you still think Cobalt is a murderer. You still don't get it. Have you seen the holo footage of his shooting? You should take a look. In his final moments, take a look at who Cobie called out to. I wasn't there for him when he needed me, and neither was his best friend.

I'm sorry Rocky. And Sharky, I'm sorry too--because I'm done with the Security Office. I'll find out if Lardy did it or not, and whomever I find is responsible will pay for it.

In the most final way possible.

<exits>

<looks at holo>

<shaken> God, is it possible he didn't kill me? I--I...

<pauses>

Sh-Sharky, you've always been a good friend...please take the evidence (and don't eat it) and give it to Matlock. I know I can count on you and him to give me a fair shake.

<as Sharky gathers evidence>

<quietly, to Rocky> Rocky--gods--somehow, some way...I've gotta see Des. I dunno why...and I know how huge of a risk it would be...but I've just GOT to....

Lardy, I can protect you here at the Rookery, but to get you to Medicus would requiring pulling more strings than all the gossama-harp players of Lyra III combined. Unless--Lardy, I can't keep up with your powers. Can you shapeshift?

I'll do as you ask, Lard Lad ... I'll find Matlock and bring the sword to him ... still, the blood looks so tasty ... maybe one lick won't matter much ...

<SharkLad is about to lick the sword when his eyes connect with Lard's -- his massive colleague never seemed so vulnerable>

Never mind ... I'll go now ... Rocky, take care of him ...

<exits>

Well Lardy, your in it up to your neck now, aren't you?

The question is... Who's game are you playing?

Yours or the Computer Tyrant's?

Gary...you're not the first to insinuate the Computer Tyrant has some hold over me, beyond his cyber-grave or whatever. Sure, I died ridding Legion World of him, but he never had any influence on me. He only ever had control over robotic minds. It was Clive he controlled back when Clive was a robot...I think you're barking up the wrong tree. But...

<looks at Concord carefully>

...you. You've always had a vendetta against Cobalt--even before me. Did you shoot him?!?!

No Lardy I didn't shoot him and I doubt that you knowingly shot him or that you knowingly murdered Virgin Lad.

But sombody did both of those things and tied them to you.

The questions are who and why?

Who hates both you and Cobalt that much?

That's a very loooong list, Gary. But you're assuming a personal motive. Can't you see the disorder and chaos those two attacks are sowing? Perhaps the true motive is to have everyone distrusting everyone else, so whomever is behind this can swoop in and take advantage!

Am I the only one who sees this?!?!

<to Rocky>

Rocky, I can't shape-change, but I can teleport in and out of anywhere I want to. I might just have to take that risk, barring any other ideas...

<Flies in landing just in front of Gary Concord>

Rocky, I'm going to ask you to voluntarily surrender Lard-Lad to the Security office for questioning.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Please don't make me do this the hard way...)

{Sighs} What is this? The Rookery Open House?

Mr. Concord, Mr. Ranger, please note that Mr. Taylor, also known as Lard Lad, has sought asylum here and is now a subject of the Pyngwyny Crown. If you will both excuse us, my subject and I have important matters to discuss. Ranger, your authority ends on Rookery property and Mr. Concord, you have no authority whatsoever. Ranger, I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to leave. Mr. Concord, I'm not sorry. I'm telling you to leave.

Ranger, I've surrendered all the evidence to Sharky for Matlock to examine. Leave it at that for now...please. You may be a pawn in this just as much as I am, given the similar suspicions about your resurrection.

So just play it cool and respect Rocky's sovereignty here. Please...both of you...just leave.

----------INCOMING OMNICOM MESSAGE------------

Your Majesty,

I shall be making my way to the Rookery shortly to converse with you over some serious matters of which I have no doubts you are aware. I come purely as an ally and friend.

I hope to see you with the hour.

- Sir Roy of Legion World

p.s. - Rocky, I know this may sound out of line, but I'd also like to talk to my friend Time Teller Lad.

----------------END MESSAGE----------------

Rockhopper Lad,

I would like to employ the service of Time Teller Lad.

[aside]Quis, Time Teller Lad and Clive were romantically linked together. So far, I don't know if anyone has spoken to Tim since Clive's death but he assuredly must be having a hard time with it. We need to be careful and consider his feelings. Poor Tim...I think he was falling in love with Clive, if he wasn't already so.[/aside]

I too have arrived Noble One, and I'd have a word with you, and Tim also. I hope he is doing well.

<notices others have been by>

Is that Lard Lad here...? Lard Lad, my friend, you have found yourself at the center of a grave situation. But I am not here for you. I have another hunch I'd like to play...

That's good to know, Roy. Oddly enough, the coolest heads with regard to me so far (other than Rocky) have been yourself and Gary Concord!

I...I'd be surprised <looks at Roy's sheathed sword> if no one at the Security Office was interested in talking to you about all this as well.

Is your hunch for Rocky's ears only, or can I listen, too?

<rubs his temples>

[aside]...memory flashes? Me...killing someone with my sword? Oh...god...[/aside]

Well Lard Lad, its actually Time Teller Lad whom I'd like to speak with most. You and Rockhopper Lad are both welcome to sit in, of course.

<eyes Gary Concord>

Though your intentions are dubious at best to me, Ultra Man, I will offer you the same courtesy I so desperately would like from others. Besides, a shot from the distance--like a coward--hardly seems your usual dramatic style.

Actually, Roy, I've got somewhere else to be. I'll catch up later....

<to Rocky> It can't wait any more. I've gotta risk visiting him. I'll be careful...<hugs him>

<'ports out>

Lard Lad, I don't think--

He's gone. Well, this could be a major mistake...but only fate can tell now.

Oh, Lardy, don't do anything stupid. I can't protect you out there.

<Shakes his head>

Tim has been in his room ever since I told him about Clive this morning, Sir Roy. Follow me.

Concord, you had better be gone by the time we return.

<Time Teller Lad is sitting at the foot of his bed, head in hands. He is no longer crying, for he has no tears left. Hyvvie sits next to him. A knock comes to the door.>

Rocky: Tim, it's Rocky! Sir Roy is here. He'd like to talk to you.

TTL: Come in, I guess.

Sir Roy: Tim. Ah, Mr. Hyfrydol*. Tim, I am so sorry about Clive.

TTL: So am I.

Sir Roy: I need to talk to you.

*Editor's note: Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle's actual name is Hyfrydol.

<puts hand on Time Teller Lad’s shoulder>

Know that even though it has always been a struggle to show emotion or share feelings, I truly do grieve with you, Tim. I’ve come to look at Rockhopper Lad as a mentor, and in that role, almost see you as a brother. It pains me to see you thus.

<looks off into the vast mountain side out the window>

It has always been my way to ignore pain rather than embrace it and focus on other things. I know this is not healthy approach. But perhaps for several minutes, I can alleviate your pain by giving you something else to think about. You see, something odd happened several months ago, which almost no one has mentioned or referenced. Following the pretty intense and dramatic bar brawl between Cobalt Kid and Lard Lad , which almost resulted in severe injury to both, several posters decided it was time for a cooling off period on Legion World. Thus, five posters journeyed off into the moutains, journeying over the hills, and far away. Several references were made to this trip, about it being a ‘vision quest’ and ‘soul-searching’ event, yet there were also several tidings of possible doom and malicious hiding off in those mountains. I may simply be naïve at time, but I assumed there was some larger mission at stake.

Yet, when some posters returned, no mention was made of this. None at all, in fact—no one recalls any of you coming home; or at least not that I know of. There were six of you: Cobalt Kid, Clive, Raging Bull, Armsfalloffboy, yourself and the man named Tomahawk. Consider what has happened since…

Cobalt Kid – shot through the throat

Clive – now lies murdered

Raging Bull – essentially not seen since*

Tomahawk – we know extremely little about this man

Armsfalloffboy – we know is well, but he’s been logged in as off-planet for some time. Perhaps that is what he is well.

And that leaves you, Time Teller Lad.

Perhaps I’m trying to connect two things that are indeed unconnected, but perhaps this is part of a larger mystery. What happened up there over those hills? Why is it two of the six of you have been attacked?

<puts both hands on each shoulder>

Tim, did something terrible happen, and if so, do you know about it? Are you in possible danger?

.
.
.
*<span style="font-size: 10px;">Roy isn’t aware Raging Bull was recently seen again</span>

<returns and hears the last part of the conversation>

Gods, are all of those six targets? Or...could one of them be the assassin(s)?

<Tim absent-mindedly strokes Hvvvie>

In all honesty, Sir Roy, I don't remember much about it. We started on our journey and the next thing I knew, it was two months and eighteen days later. I had hoped this journey would bring Clive and me closer together, but it instead drove us apart. When we had our argument, I came here. Where else could I go? Rocky has always been there for me. And now--Clive is gone. <Tim wells up. Rocky puts his arms around him.>

I wish I had answers, Sir Roy, but whenever I try to remember anything, my head hurts and I can't concentrate on it. I'm sorry.

<puts hand on Tim's shoulder>

Thank you Tim for your help. I'm sorry for everything you are going through. Both you and Clive have been good friends to me when others have been less willing to give me a chance.

<thinks silently for a moment>

No memories whatsoever...very odd, indeed. I wonder if anyone else had any memories. Finding out from Cobalt is impossible at the moment, but perhaps Raging Bull or Tomahawk? There must be some sort of telepathic mind-altering going on here.

<turns to Rocky and Lardy>

I'm off to do what I can around Legion World. The attacks have stopped momentarily but it hasn't been long--Legion World is still in a state of panic. Who knows what riotous behavior will ensue.

In the meantime good luck to you both and the political capital you may both use up...<eying Lardy>

<back to Time Teller Lad>

Good bye fair one...

<later>

Crap! I'm going bonkers sitting here on my ass!

I've gotta DO something......

<Rocky enters Lardy's room with a sandwich, a bottle of beer and some snacks on a tray>

Lardy, I thought you'd like a little something to eat. I know this waiting is difficult for you. Is there anything I can do to help you?

I...<smiles>...well, I don't think that would be appropriate, right now!

I think, instead, I need to get someone else involved who's been my ally recently...

...Rocky, can you send a discreet message out to Gary Concord to meet me here? Crazy as it sounds, he may be about the only one other than you that I can trust right now.

<as Rocky goes to send the message, Lardy notices a light blinking on his belt>

Hm? Proximity alarm? At the Lair? Last time I was there, it was to meet Gary. Maybe he's there...

<scribbles note: "BRB" and 'ports to the Lair>

Lardy? Where are you? Oh, I hope he hasn't teleported away again. <Turns to Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle> Hyvvie? Good boy! Where is Lard Lad? Is he here at the Rookery?

<Hyvvie sniffs at the ground and shakes his head no.>

Oh, Lardy, you'd better watch yourself!

<returns from Medicus Two >

Oh, gods...

<sees Rocky>

...oh my gods, Rocky!

<eyes haunted, shedding depserate tears>

I remember everything! So many sins...it's overwhelming! So much pain!

<shocked, Rocky tries his best to console his friend>

No! <rebuffs Rocky's consolations> I don't deserve you friendship! I-I've done so much...gods. Rocky...I remember now! I remember...

<span style="font-size: 25px;">I killed Clive!</span>

Lardy, I know you've had a colorful history, but I can't believe you're a murderer.

<Lardy pushes Rocky who backs away>

Clive was my friend and Tim's first serious boyfriend. He hurt all of us pretty badly at the end. Still, I can't imagine you killed him. But even if you did, the Pyngwyny way is forgiveness for everyone, especially the penitent.

What do you remember, Lardy?

I remember...drinking at SHAKES. I was getting all worked up about Clive and what he'd been doing to me...and then to Tim.

With every drink I just got madder and madder. After finishing the last one, I paid up and tore out of there. I found out what apartment Clive had recently rented out and 'ported inside.

I...caught him by surprise...taunted him...used my superior Lard Force skill to negate his powers.

He...was defenseless...h-had his arms out begging for mercy...

<sobbing>

...gods, Rocky--I-I cut one of his hands off! Th-then, I stabbed him through the heart and threw his body over the b-balcony...

<eyes haunted>

...and I watched him fall, Rocky...I WATCHED HIM HIT THE GROUND!

<hands to his face>

What kind of man am I, Rocky?

<removes hands, locks Rocky's gaze>

I'm a monster, Rocky. I have all my memories back...and Clive's not the only person I've murdered.

I've got to turn myself in to the Security Office. I deserve to be locked up!

<Rocky pleads with Lardy to reconsider>

"Something else else is just not right here, Lardy! I don't accept that you did this. Stay until we can sort this out."

Rocky, you've been a great friend, a better one than I ever deserved...but I'm going. I have to pay for what I've done....

<kisses him on the forehead>

Goodbye, Rocky...

<'ports to Security Office >

<Rocky stands looking at the space where Lardy used to be.>

Oh, Lardy, I know you didn't do this. Someone has framed you. It just doesn't feel right.

<Hyvvie walks in the room; Rocky strokes him.>

Oh, Hyvvie, why do I get the idea things are going to get decidedly unpleasant around Legion World?

<arrive from battle with Ranger>

Hmm...Rocky's not here.

Have a seat, Des, I gotta go get some clothes from Rocky's room.

*cough*

*cough*

<almost falls into chair, nose bleeding and coughing up blood>

...sh-should have told you...still pretty banged up from assassination attempt...

<waves Lardy off>

i'll be okay...just need a minute to rest...go get changed...

(clothes from Rocky's room? Did I hear that right?)

*cough*

<comes in, clothed>

There, that's better--don't need to give ya an inferiority complex on top of everything else!

<looks him over>

Still having trouble self-healing? Should I summon Rocky's medical staff?

I'm okay <obviously hurt but doesn't appear too bad for Lardy>

I can handle it at least. If our theory on Justin Thyme is correct, I wonder if he did something to me to stop me from using my own healing powers on myself? Something else else to follow up on.

In the meantime I've been thinking about what we did. I don't mind destroying the Office of Security or even Faraway's Castle for that matter, but I feel pretty guilty about beating on Space Ranger. Still...once we lost the upper-hand, he'd have us. The man is effective above all other things. I'll have to try to make it up to him somehow. If that's possible.

<wipes down face with hot towel, obviously bruised and battered>

Anyway...while we wait for Rocky we need to start planning our next move. We need to find (A) Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible and (B) the LMBer whom Justin Thyme may be controlling. He controlled me and then you, which makes me wonder if he'll jump around again, or if he'll stick with one person?

It'd be nice if we had some allies. I don't have my omni-com and I doubt we could use it on any of the LMB channels now.

Matlock is working with me. He won't aid and abett us, but he's working to solve the case. He's the best detective on Legion World, and a good friend and partner too.

If we could get word to Lolita that would help. I have no idea where she even is. Maybe Rocky could have someone contact her for us?

We need to move soon before Space Ranger and his posse start putting up a blockade around the Rookery...

If I recall correctly, Lolita's out and about with Sharky. I think...yeah, she was looking for that Tomahawk guy. Based on what you said, that's a dead end, though.

<grins> I always thought all you had to do was snap your fingers to summon her.

I'm sure when Rocky gets back, he'll help us find her. Just...get some rest, alright?

Lardy, check out the space-news.

Looks like Space Ranger is way more angry than I thought.

But it looks like Yellow Kid is standing up for us!

*cough*

We might need a hot meal before we go any farther. You've been living off jail food and I've been living off hospital food through a test tube. I'm sure it'd go along way to make us feel better.

In the meantime you can tell me...spending a lot of time at the Rookery lately?

No, Lolita and I aren't like that. Common misconception. Sure I'm 'her boss' and all, but its more of a partnership at this point. I depend on her a lot. It was never even considered that she wouldn't quit the Security Office with me and work wherever I work. She's a minority partner in all of the businesses I co-own on Legion World.

She's been my girl friday for a long time now. Even if she only aged a year in all that time (you know her physiology keeps her young that way). We used to...well, you know...back in the day. Pretty hot and heavy. But that stopped awhile back...

...sure could use her now When I left off with her, she was pretty angry. I'd like to think she'd still be willing to help, but well...it wouldn't be fair to assume that.

Lardy! Cobie! Sffenyskus came and got me. I was--I was in the Rookery's chapel singing some prayers for both of you.

How can I be of help?

Hey, Rocky...things have changed somewhat since you last saw me...<gestures toward Cobalt>...as you can see!

It's a long story, but...can you get Des some medical attention here? I recall you have someone on staff, I believe. And is there a way you can get a message out to Jailbait Lass to meet us here?

Of course! I'll send for Dr. Majellanyk. As for Jailbait Lass, I'll see what I can do. Our last conversation didn't have us parting on the best of terms, but I'll give it a try.

Lardy, I'm so glad you're--that is you and Cobie are safe!

I'm sorry I blew you off this morning--I was in a bad place. But I think me and Des are getting to the bottom of all this. I think I may have killed Clive, but I was being controlled by this guy who's calling himself Justin Thyme. I think that guy, whoever he is, is behind all the bad crap that's going down.

<looks at Cobalt> He's asleep! It's probably for the best. Just make sure Dr. Majellanyk gives him the once-over.

But, yeah, it's good to be back...in every sense.

I knew you couldn't have actually killed Clive, Lardy! And I'm so glad to see you and Cobie friends again. Well, I'm behind you guys 100 percent. Just let me know. <Hesitates a moment> Lardy, I'm just so glad you're okay <Throws his arms around Lardy>.

<hugs him tightly>

Yeah, I'm more okay than I've been in a long, long time strangely enough!

However...<releases>...now, me and Cobalt are both fugitives and we've got the law on our tails in a BIG way!

Are you sure you can handle the kind of heat they will bring your way if you harbor us? Multiply how it was before by about a million before you answer...

Can I handle heat? <Rocky's hands crackle with Ice Magic> I can create ice and snow, remember? And as long as you seek asylum here they can't harm you without creating an interplanetary incident.

I'm in.

Beyond giving us asylum...do you mean you're ready and willing to fight with us? Des and I are very powerful, but we need as many heroes in this as we can get! Most of the LMB is against us, and the bad guys are against us as well...

<gestures toward Cobalt>

...it looks like we're gonna need to make his RMB the real deal!

<looks at Rocky>

Are you ready to be a Rebel? And if so, do you know anyone else who can throw in with us?

I may eschew violence whenever I can, but that doesn't mean I can't fight when I need to. Everyone always forgets that. I'm no slouch, Lardy. Freezing things is just the beginning. And remember, my powers are magic-based. That might come in handy against a certain Daxamite.

And I know you can count on Time Teller Lad as well, and even Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle and Old Dutch the Super-Cow! Okay, maybe not Old Dutch, unless it's an absolute emergency, but she'll pitch in if need be!

<grins> We'll bench Old Dutch for now!

Man, I haven't felt this complete since...since I don't know when! Yeah, things are dire, but I have a purpose, y'know?

<looks around>

I've got my memory (good and bad) back, I've got my best friend back...and I've got you! I...I love you, man.

<gives him another hug>

'Night, Rocky!

<goes to his familiar guest bedroom and falls immediately asleep after a long, eventful day, leaving Rockhopper Lad much to ponder>

<wakes up quietly the next morning, for the first time in months after waking up>

(Hm...must have just passed out last night...helluva a last few days)

<notices bandages, and obvious medical treatment overnight>

Rocky's doctors must have seen to my wounds...from assassination attempts to fighting a certain ass-kicking Daxamite. I actually feel pretty good--not 100%, but close enough.

<walks downstairs>

Hopefully Lardy is getting some rest too. He seemed so reinvigorated last night. To be honest, I'm feeling the same way! I know we have some other allies that can help us...hopefully Jailbait Lass can meet us here if someone can get word to her. Because rested we may be but now there's work to be done.

<grabs cup of coffee>

Man, it feels good to have Lardy 'back'. <looks at painting on the wall of Rockhopper Lad addressing his loyal subjects> I think I know who to thank too...

<Rocky enters>

Good morning, Cobie. I see you're doing better. I'm glad to see it. I'm also glad to see you and Lardy have made up. It was so hard to see you two at odds.

<Pours himself some coffee also>

Lardy should be along soon. I guess we need to figure out what our best course of action is.

*yaaawwwwnnnn*

<walks in wearing bathrobe with monogrammed "LL">

Hey, guys--I'm so hungry, I could eat Hyvvie!

<Hyvvie whimpers>

Just kidding, pal! <scratches Hyvvie's head>

Who do I have to kill to get some breakfast? <grins>

<Sighs>

Lardy, don't even joke about such things. Breakfast should be ready in a few minutes. Oh, I hope the staff laundered your robe properly. I still feel bad about that time they starched your underwear. Linens, they're used to; clothing, not so much.

Yeah, the robe feels great, Rocky. Still can't believe you've had all of that clothing and linen made for me.

<turns to Cobalt>

Des, you're looking at the core of our honest-to-gods RMB! You said we need recruits--Rocky and Tim (and Hyvvie) are in, and I'm sure we can count on Lolita.

Any ideas who else may help us out here? My best possibilities are Triple G, Ex and Sharky. Neither's a cert for sure, but I think they're candidates.

Think about some others you could swing...Crujeckie? Matlock? Other Security Officers still loyal to you?

<back to Rocky>

So...do they know we're here, yet? Any political pressure coming down?

None yet, but I expect it any time. Not from Legion World itself--I spoke with Nightcrawler and he--well he rolled his eyes and said he trusted my judgement--but from some folks in the LMB--particularly the Security Office. My Wee Fem, Space Ranger and Everyday Girl are none too happy with us. I feel really bad about the Ranger. I always admired him so much, but the lines have been drawn and I stand with you and Cobie. <Strokes Lardy's shoulders> You guys have been there for me.

Honestly, Rocky...I'm not seeing how we've "been there" for ya. Seems all I in particular have done is make your life difficult and overly complicated!

Oh, you're right. I was thinking of Ram Boy and Lad Boy.

Kidding.

Lardy, I won't say that you've been the most stable presence in my life, but when I've really needed you, you've never let me down.

And I've needed to be needed. I've mourned for Opnely Gay Lad--for Blaine--far longer than we were even together. I guess I've needed people to help take care of. Tim and--and Clive--both needed someone older and more experienced to be a mentor and friend. I think I've done pretty well with Tim and, Dywh knows, I tried with Clive. I took care of him when I thought you were gone because I knew you would want me to look after him. I'm sorry I didn't do a better job.

<Sighs> Don't feel bad about anything, Lardy. If my life is difficult and overly complicated, it's because I want it to be.

Outside the Rookery an unusual yellow glow begins to form. A swirling twisting spinning tornado of light swiftly grows in intensity to a blinding flash and just as quickly slows back into the nothingness it came from leaving a bald headed man wearing a gold ring and a long yellow monks robe standing in front of the entrance.

"Do I smell coffee?"

My life is more complex than ever...but I feel happy! Weird, huh?

<senses something>

Rocky, we have a visitor outside. My hunch is that you should show him in.

If you say so.

<Goes to the door>

Yellow Kid! What brings you to the Rookery?

I've been a little worried about the guys. I know they hang out here sometimes, they're your friends Rocky. I wanted to see if you could help me find where they've gone. Look man I'll level with you, you're a young Legionnaire and your insight could be a big help.
I'm afraid the Security Office might be out of control. aI'm very afraid they have their own agenda running and that can't be good.

Come on in, YK. I'm guessing you mean Lardy and Cobie. They're here. We're about to sit down to breakfast. You're welcome to join us. We've been expressing concerns about the Security Office as well.

<waves> Hey, YK!

I overheard you and Rocky talking--I'm glad this isn't all sitting well with you.

Tell me...<looks YK in the yes>...are you feeling rebellious? If so and you have an open mind, we'd like to share some info with ya!

It's in my nature, chunky. Of course I'm a rebel. I have some thoughts too but I'm dying to hear someone else's and get a chance to brainstorm.

Listen, about that coffee, I don't use my transport powers often they're so energy intensive, I want to sit down for a bit.

Breakfast is ready, so please let's sit down and discuss.

<as they scarf down breakfast, Lardy and Cobalt summarize to YK and Rocky everything that Cobalt revealed to Lardy "in-between places">

So we're up against this Traveller...this "Justin Thyme", if you will--but at the same time we've got the Security Office breathing down our necks!

Thoughts?

Ah..the coffee's good. I should have come here earlier. Thanks.

Look guys, I've put us out on a limb defending both of you lately. It won't hurt the PCG as a whole, we're pretty independent but personally I don't really look forward to having a Daxamite after my old scrawny butt. This better be worth it.

Not to ignore you Rocky. You live for controversy it's your bread and butter. I hope this is just a little internal disagreement that got out of control but if it's as big as I fear your butt could be on the line too.
Mmmm..bread and butter, is that blackberry jam?
Oh yes, to die for.
Delicious.

Oop.
-wiping flakes of biscuit from chin-
S'cuse me.

I rarely do it but I showed off that I can use that Spin power to time travel. AND..my staff is a lot better than I've ever let anybody know. I think this Justin character is a pawn of a bigger opponent. Somebody manipulating time lines and trying to get some of us either wiped out or changed into a different version of ourselves.

We need to be certain we have a base line that's untouchable.

Sounds like we're really lucky you've landed on our side, YK. Having someone who has some time powers on our side will be invaluable. <gestures at Rocky> Rocky's magic could help as well.

As for the Security Office...Des, I think we could use a member of the Quank family in our RMB if you can convince one. Maybe, Abin? He, or one of the others, could run some interference for us since the big S.O. movers against us are the Quanks. Think about that one.

<turns back to YK>

So...pretend I'm a dumb guy [yeah, big stretch ]...what do you mean by a "base line"?

Well, they can't touch me without changing a massive amount of history. My origin goes way back, I'm the oldest Legionnaire of all, I was born before Superboy even. But you guys are modern. You do know you have dopplegangers in the Pocket Universe don't you? I've met them.

Cobie's one of our Time Trappers. It's "above my pay grade" so I don't know exactly what he can do but...

The Legionnaires board is long gone, we can't depend on it for a fall back but Crujectra's brother created a home for us even before that board fell to the "white out". Thats just an idea of course. What I mean is we need is a "safe" time line that a time manipulator can't affect. just in case.

Moving forward is a different task.

I've placed an operative in the Security Office. Not to betray them mind you, that's not the point. He's there to help direct their efforts toward a resolution but..believe me he won't back down from a fight with us if it comes to that. When Bob takes on a job he's very serious about it.

Yeah, don't mess with a guy who can go all Godzilla on us Bambis!

<thinks>

But all is going well. We've got the pieces in place, and our RMB is growing by the minute! We might just lick this crisis, yet.

<and so, the four of them digest and ponder the ponderous kinds of thoughts that must be pondered in crises like this one>

<and on top of this, Rocky and Lardy ponder ponderous subplottery things unrelated to the other things they ponder>

<as Cobalt eats, he takes in all of their words, showing a rare side of him that only his most trusted and beloved friends know: that he is an excellent listener and not just a blowhard; naturally, he makes this part of him a big secret from the public>

<Cobalt also eyes the very close “friendship” between Lard Lad and Rockhopper Lad and cannot help but smile>

Hm, I always said mushrooms go good with anything, particularly omelets.

Now, as to some of your points. Matlock will definitely helps and indeed, he is helping right now. He’s been helping me all along and he was the first person I went to when I left Abin Quank’s office. But joining an RMB? That’s not really his style. He won’t take a side and he doesn’t need to; he’ll solve the case. But I consider on my side nonetheless—you won’t see him arresting us.

Getting one of the Quank family on our side…let’s just say I’m working on it. <grins, then sees all three rolling their eyes; he holds up hands> Okay, Okay, I know, I said no more secrets. Abin and Pagan Lass are deeply involved in this entire plot. In fact, I believe they crucially connected to what is going on and what Justin Thyme is trying to do. You see, Justin Thyme is trying to use the natural energies of Legion World’s power of time/space to transport himself forward in time and across space here to LW, and in doing so, cause a sacrifice so someone switches places. Thus far, he’s been successful in doing that temporarily with some of our consciousness only.

But I believe that someone else is trying to do the same exact thing. Bear with me—I think Pagan Lass and Stoopid Cat, following the debacle at Slim’s bar, were lost in space and time. In fact, I know they were. Their history is long and complicated. YK, you say you’re before Superboy’s time, and that’s true. You are indeed, the ‘first’ Legionnaire. But there are heroes that go back much farther than that. To Pre-history, and Pre-Egypt, and that is where Pagan Lass, Stoopid Cat and even STU originate from (see LMB History in the Encyclopedia forum for this much complicated and awesome backstory). I believe either Pagan and Stoopid Cat were sent back there or are plain lost in time/space.

And now I think Abin is trying to get Pagan Lass back to Legion World…but somehow use her magics to stop the sacrifice. And somehow, Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible is involved. I know who he is purely because I’m the official LMB Historian and Chief of Security and well, I deal in secrets on a daily basis. Numbnuts was the chief concubine of Bast, the Goddess of Pre-Egypt. Bast is the goddess whom Pagan Lass channels her magicks. So this Numbnuts character is who we have to find. That’s why he’s vitally important. By the way, I think he’s a eunuch, which is always weird and gross and a little funny.

<eats bacon>

What, I can’t say ‘eunuch’ while we eat?

So we have three jobs: (1) find Justin Thyme, or who is controlling, (2) find Numbnuts, and (3) find the ‘agents’ helping Justin Thyme on Legion World, as we know there is at least one. And all the while, avoiding the Security Office and potentially recruiting some help in this ‘RMB’.

By the way, YK, you're presence here is invaluable. Don't think I've forgotten how we 'met' you.

<to Rocky>

Yellow Kid was one our biggest super-villains during our second and third years. Ultimately, he joined the LMB. So if anyone knows what its like being on the run, or being a 'rebel', well, its him.

I'll be honest, I'm not used to being a "rebel". I know when a cause is right, though. And besides, Lardy nee--that is you and Lardy need me.

<grins>

Lardy does need you, Rocky, I agree. He's been through a lot. And so have you...so its good that you can both be there for each other.

<hand on Rocky's shoulder>

In other words, I'm happy for you both if you can trust one another and be there for one another like that.

<without forcing Rocky or Lardy to talk about something they might not want to, Cobalt feels satisfied he got his point across>

Now then, if Space Ranger isn't banging down the door yet, that means he's planning something. He's one tough opponent...he is not weakened by arrogance or cockiness. He knows he can't beat Lardy and I together, so don't think he'll try for a round two the same way. He'll bring help, I know it. So Lardy, I think splitting up would not be a good option.

<happy to change subject from him and Rocky> Agreed. <looks around at them> Y'know, I've been all about guilt lately...is it wrong that I'm feeling more alive than I have in years while we're in this dire situation? <smiles>

Anyway, beyond his leadership in the Security Office, should we be looking at Ranger as a possible accomplice to Thyme? I mean, far be it from me to cast suspicion on guys back from the dead, but there's still so many questions about him.

No, I don't think so. I'm almost positive he's the same Ranger and his death seems to be coincidentally timed around this thing. I think it might be the real deal.

And if so, the Ranger is definitely not working with Thyme. He's in fact acting completlely like himself right now. Damn useful as a friend...<rubs ribs>...but stubborn to the bitter end. He makes an art out of being stubborn and only seeing things 100% in black and white.

But look at the news, guys:

<news has been on non-stop since Space Ranger declared Cobalt Kid and Lard Lad public enemies #1 and #2 on Legion World>

Exnihil's tobacco shop is burning down. We know Ex has been used by Justin Thyme in the past. We really need to get out there and find out what's going on.

Are we ready to risk life and limb and leave the Rookery? We need to play this smart. I know the first thing I want to do right now is find Jailbait Lass and then contact the Princess across the galaxy, but we need to be smart.

Shall we start looking for this Numbnuts guy?

Alright, let's go find him. YK, I think you may have teleportation powers...but Rocky, Des...the two of you will need to stay close to me in case we need to 'port on short notice. The Rookery should be our default place to retreat to.

<looks to Cobalt>

Where do we start to look?

<haunted look comes over face>

Uh-oh....

<farts>

...ah, that's better! Always wanted to make my Time Trapper post really significant!

<lights match to diffuse odor>

So, Des...where to?

Jeez Lardy! Aw man!

<covers face>

You really are feeling more alive than you have in a long time!

Dammit, I was too until a minute ago...

By the way, congratulations Time Trapper. Well done, indeed

Lardy, you need to bring us the last place Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible was seen . And we'll go from there. Hopefully this will work and we'll find him and get some answers.

<looks at screen and his face turns to horror>

Bloody Liberty...Jailbait Lass was in there...it says so at the bottom of the screen...

<breathes deep>

Okay, it says she was the first one out, and the one who alerted them. Thank Lao.

I need to get ahold of her...

Okay, lets roll Lardy.

Aw man. That's horrible.
<cough>

You're right Lardy, it's not exactly teleportation. I can use it that way but it's really a lot more complicated. I'll explain some time when we have the time.
Just keep me in your field, I'll take the bus.

Awrighty...here we go!

<all 'port to above-linked locale>

STU?

<Glances at book, gestures, Vanishes...>

<Pagan and Brit arrive via Pagan's transportation spell.>

Cobalt and Rockhopper lad should be here soon.

Help me set up the arcanna please, Brit.

<Cobalt flies in at top speed, assuming Rockhopper Lad will meet him at the Rookery>

Pagan thought it was a good idea to be here for magical purposes, and I trust her instincts. I'm relieved to have her back actually...I hate magic. But I do know science very well, and Phineas attacks have been time based thus far. So if he screwed up the timeline, we need to find out what's off...

<a weird yearning feeling hits Cobalt suddenly>

Why do I feel like...I have this tremendous guilt, and I don't know why?

Gotta shake it off and get this crisis figured out...

<sees Everyday Girl>

Oh great...Everyday Girl hates me! Whatever she sees in me, it relates to the guilt she feels over what happened to My Whee Fem those years ago. If only Holly Honey could focus that day instead thinking about me...

Here goes...

<approaches Pagan Lass and Everyday Girl>

Pagan, I'm here. Hello, Britney.

Oh look, it's the slut that crawls like a slug.

Gram says I have to be nice to you, whore, so for the next hour I'm canceling exactly half of the promises I've made to myself about killing you...

<span style="font-size: 20px;">THAT WILL BE ENOUGH YOUNG LADY.</span>

Cobalt, I apologize for my ill-mannered Granddaughter.

Is Rockhopper Lad here? I'd hate to start without him. I owe him and the energies we will be stirring up would strengthen his already formidable freezing powers immensely.

Yes ma'm! you don't need to use those command voice tricks on me...


<span style="font-size: 7px;">My would be alive today if Holly wasn't pregnant with one of his demon-spawn brats...</span>

No worries Pagan. <nods to her, not wanting to have Pagan distracted by Everyday Girl>

It'd be better to wait for Rocky, I think.

(So she does blame me. As if I'd be responsible for a bunch of untrained girls trying to take on the Riddler! I hardly know anything about them!)

Doesn't Rocky carry an Omnicom?


<span style="font-size: 7px;">Little demon was a parasite, sucked the energy out of Holly just when she needed it most...</span>

<finishes converation on omni-com>

Rocky should be joining us shortly. Britney, please, try to relax. I'm too busy to be dealing with this right now.

<and so Cobalt makes a call on his omnicom, and yet another major change is revealed. Without Jailbait Lass to convince Cobalt Kid not to invade the Dark Oval on a permanent basis, Cobalt Kid never put a stop to the war between the United Planets and the Dark Oval; the war rages constantly, still to this day; and Cobalt Kid has long been victorious in a stream of continual military victories as thousands, perhaps millions, of lives have been lost; he feels no guilt, no sadness for it; he only feels the anger he kept from the Invasion, as Jailbait Lass was never there to help him let it go>

<Rockhopper Lad, flanked by Time Teller Lad and Hyvvie, enters with a solemn expression on his face>.

I apologize for keeping you waiting, my friends. I was meditating in the Rookery Chapel. We'll need all the help we can get.

Pagan Lass, what may I do to help you?

Glad to see you all here, Rocky!

<turning to Time Teller Lad>

How are you holding up, Tim? I think the time if quickly approaching of when we'll take on Clive's killer once and for all--and I plan to make sure this is for the last time.

<to the rest>

So the goal is to conduct a seance. And Everyday Girl and myself are the keys here...something about chronal energies and changes on Legion World all around the two of us. If something has been changed in the timestream, we might be the ones to figure it out the best.

<eyes Everyday Girl>

I don't really see how though. The two of us hardly are near each other, and to put it plainly, that is by design. There are few reasons we'd ever cross paths, so I can't see the connection.

Cobie, there are many things we will never understand by touching, seeing and hearing. There is something else going on here. Please, let's all go into the library. There is a large table there we can use.

<they all follow>

Well, I'm ready when you are...there is much to be done out there on Legion World.

(And still, something is bothering me...like I owe an old girlfriend a call or something...but there's no way I'd be tied down to any one woman...)

They grasp at straws... as do I.

<span style="font-size: 7px;">Then here is a straw for you to cling to, Ghost Girl... </span>

Spirits Attend, YOU Shall bind yourself to my mystic energies and as you are true to me so shall I be true to you!

<Pagan looks around the room somberly, her eyes meeting and locking with each of the others for an eternal instant. In the window of each eye she sees the same emotions and desires, the same hope, the same fear --not a fear for their own safety but instead the fear that their failure could cost the life of one or more of their friends-- and a fierce, burning, determination to protect their Planet, Family and Loved Ones.>

Now if you will all seat yourselves, Cobalt on my right, Britney on my left, Rocky across from me and is it Tim? if you would be kind enough to stand behind Rocky with your hands on his shoulders... Yes, just like that... And Hywie good and faithful Hywie... if you would lay across Rocky's feet...

<A small smile crosses Pagan's somber face...>

We are not alone in this room my friends... a lovely young woman who has passed the final veil is watching us... perhaps hoping to speak with us...

Here we go...

<sits and waits as Pagan Lass and Rockhopper Lad do their thing, all the while watching as Everyday Girl shoots him dirty looks>

How long before what they do takes effect?

<watches as they concentrate>

And why do I feel this terrible sense of loss, even now? It only feels like its worsening...?

<A vague haze builds up the room, slowly assembling into a column of smoke>

<the smoke swirls and spins as if dancing. Slowly it seems to take on a feminine essence. Smoke colours itself, and form stabilizes. Presently, a young-looking woman takes shape before them>

Greetings, Lady of the Magicks, and to your associates.

I may not be the ghost you sought, but I offer myself as your guest, if you would have me.

You may not be the ghost we seek but your presence here enriches us...

<span style="font-size: 15px;">May Bast Bless and Grant temporary form and substance...</span>

Join Us... Within this room you may be as you once were...

My thanks... but I shall never be as I once was.

<reaches her hand; it passes through Pagan Lass's>

Although you may now see and hear me, I may never again have full corporeal existence. At most, I can but briefly influence the material world... like so.

<Concentrates. The candle closest to Cobaltus briefly flickers,and lifts into the air. After a second or two, it sets back down. Its flame sizzles to a foot or so its height, momentarily bathing the room with a flash of light. Once everyone's eyesight clears, the candles is back to normal, as if it had never been anything but>

H-Have you seen or... met... a girl called... My Wee Fem?

Is she in whatever passes for heaven?

I know of whom you speak. She has not passed on from the mortal coil.

Not Passed!?!? How?

<concentrates for a bit>

I... cannot locate her exact location. I can sense that she is contained somehow... trapped, perhaps.

I... cannot tell how, or where. But i do sense powerful magicks at hand. Tread carefully, if you would seek her. Craft your most potent wards and charms... there is much more to all this than I can glean.

Ghost...why...<pauses>....why...?

<Cobalt again pauses, unsure of how to form his words; at last he speaks>

I feel a tremendous weight upon me. I do not usually feel such weight. Indeed, I feel no guilt or sorrow for any of my actions. But I do now. I feel lost. I feel empty.

Tell me...why do I feel so heartsick? What is wrong with me? Does it relate to these changes i time?

<looks at shadow upon the wall from candlelight; for the first time in what feels like his entire life, the shadow appears different, even incomplete>

Ohmygod! I Saw Her DIE!

Right there! I couldn't get to her in time because I tried to help Holly... And She DIED in my arms...

(Sob) Oh God... Her Blood... (SOB) her blood was all over me...

The demise of a flesh is not the same as true death. A life essence can take root in a nearby receptacle, if conditions are ripe and the soul is attuned... or if a mage helps guide the transfer.

My Wee Fem's body may be no longer alive, but her essence remains vital, and it is not far away from here.

Cobaltus... Take Rocky's hand... Brit you take Rocky's other hand...

Now Both of you take my hands...

<span style="font-size: 15px;">Bast grant your daughter the wisdom and the sight to see the truth!</span>

I See... a book of magic... a locket... and a young lady holding both...

<Pagan looks into Cobaltus's eyes... and shares her vision with him... Then slumps bonelessly to the floor>

<eyes Britney>

Poor girl...watching someone you love die is never easy...I never considered how terrible it must have all been on her. I only ever felt outrage at Holly for it all...

Cobaltus, all actions have consequences.

That you can no longer deny this means you have seen a truth you cannot now "un-see." Some may call that growing up. It can happen at any age.

Accept the torment, the weight. It is a challenge you are now ready for, no matter what times have changed already - or may change yet.

A locket, yes... I have heard of life-spirits being kept in them before.

<Brit is out of her chair and at Pagan Lass's side before she hits the floor.>

Gram? Gram? Help her you guys...

The image implants itself into Cobalt Kid's mind as Pagan Lass falls to the floor. All at once it hits him like he is suddenly sucking in all the air in the room. All of his senses come to a grinding halt and his mind attempts to percieve what is being sent to him. Its all very blurry at first. The smell of Jasmine. A sarcastic giggle. A genuine sense of being impressed and finding that very attractive.

But they are just senses; he can hardly understand why he is reacting as such. The girl is completely unfamiliar. But he feels a...longing for her. Like she was a companion from another lifetime. Someone he trusted. Someone he loved. Someone who believed in him.

<Cobalt Kid stands silently, processing these thoughts, and the omnicom slips from his hand, landing on the Rookery floor and shattering into a hundred pieces. Though for years now Cobalt has lost his ability to cry because of the trauma and torture he endured in his early LMB years, a lone single tear runs down his cheek. His heart is yearning. Whatever void he feels in his soul, it can be filled by this girl>

I...

I don't know...who she is...? But I know where...

<puts both palms up to his eyes, and the months of being so cold, even to his friends, seem to melt away>

Britney...I'm so sorry...I never meant to hurt any of the girls...

I...I think I know...where I must go...

<and suddenly, Cobalt exits with his magnetism as his top speed, flying across Legion World in a hurry>

I'm okay Brat...

<Stares at the retreating form of Cobaltus.>

We're Okay...

But I need you to do something "Freaking, Dorky and Stupid" for me... and for Holly and My...

Gram... I... I can't...

<span style="font-size: 7px;">Yes you can, we're still here, we are ready to help you, we've always been ready to help you!</span>

Shut up you two...

<span style="font-size: 7px;">But we are... If you let us!</span>

I don't want to be a Freaking, Dorky, Stupid, Heroine! I just want to find My...

<span style="font-size: 7px;">But to find her you must be you! Not whiney wimp girl! Everyday Girl!</span>

They're right, Brat. The whiny little wimp girl can't do the things that need to be done.

But my granddaughter, the girl who hunted down the man who killed her favorite uncle and brought him back to face trial, can...

He would have been so proud of you...

He's dead... he can't be proud of me...

<span style="font-size: 7px;">His spirit lives on in you... We know it.</span>

Shut up... Nobody, No one, Silence, code alpha three! Lock and Compile!

<Turns and looks at Pagan with tears streaming down her cheeks...>

Why do you want me to do that, WHY?

Because it's who and what you were destined to be... And because you won't be whole again until you do.

I can't... Look...

<She extends her hands and flexes a small muscle in her forearm, a pair of Beretta 9mm VLK Pistols appear in her hands. She is so surprised by the pistol's appearance that she almost drops them...>

How? I put these away years ago...

<Rocky looks at alarm at Everyday Girl>

Britney, put those away at once! We don't allow such weapons at the Rookery!

<The guns disappear>

Okay Mr Rockyhopper....

<Extends her hand to Pagan>

C'Mon Gram... Let's go home...

In a moment...

Rockhopper Lad... Again I find myself in your debt... Your silent assistance and strength have been invaluable.

But this time <She gestures and the air in the Rookery Library begins to sparkle...>

The Magical residue of the seance... <another gesture causes the "sparkles" to settle on Rocky and slowly blend into him>

I believe that your magic will be greatly enhanced for a long time...

Again Prince, you have my thanks and gratitude, I am in your debt.

<Rocky takes Pagan Lass's arm and he, Tim and Hyvvie escort her and Everyday Girl to the door and they leave.>

TTL: Rocky, what just happened?

Rocky: I'm not entirely sure I understand, Tim, but I think this might be the turning point of whatever's been going on.

TTL: What was that Pagan Lass said about your magic being enhanced?

Rocky: I don't know. The only other Pyngwyn I've ever known, outside of a monastery, who used magic for anything other than ice and snow was my evil doppelgänger from Earth-4 and it drove him insane.

TTL: That won't happen to you, will it?

Rocky: I've seen power corrupt so many people. Not everyone has the discipline Pagan Lass has. There are a few former LMBers who have long since left Legion World who couldn't control their powers. Even dear Lardy--I don't think he totally grasps just how powerful he is and--well...

TTL: Speaking of Lardy, exactly what's going on there?

Rocky: You're just full of questions I really can't answer tonight, aren't you, Tim? Come on, guys. Let's see what we can raid from the Rookery fridge.

--------INCOMING MESSAGE--------

Rocky, Pagan, everyone. We are all gathering in the Tesseracts to bring the final battle to Phineas! Every active and able LMBer is needed as soon as possible!

Good luck everyone!

Cobie, out.

-------------END MESSAGE-----------------

<as Phineas B. Fuddle activates his celestial mechanism in his Orrery , a whiteout of chronal regression begins to spread across this establishment>

<Legion World is dying>

no... this world is NOT dying... only the lost dreams of conquests shall die.

Pardon me! Just passing through...

(rushes past confused staff, and raids the kitchen)

Put it all on my bill...

(exists out hidden extra-dimensional door)

<Rocky paces the floor of the Rookery parlour; Time Teller Lad and Hyvvie enter>

TTL: Rocky, have you been drinking coffee again? You know what that stuff does to you!

Rocky: What? What are you talking about, Tim?

<Hyvvie chuckles>
TTL: See? Hyvvie knows. This thing with Lardy has you all worked up.

Rocky: What? He--that is--I...<Rocky shakes his head>. Tim, there's something we need to talk about. It hasn't been very long since Clive...and now his father and I...

TTL: And don't you think I saw it coming?

Rocky: But Clive didn't exactly like Lardy and you were around him so much.

TTL: And it was great at first, but after two months and three days, he started getting so weird. I tried to stick with him, but, well, you know. And I saw how you and Lardy have been with each other lately.

Rocky: And he's coming over and I...

TTL: You need to relax.

Rocky: But...

TTL: Some candles would set the right mood. And I think some music would be nice for the background. Brahms, perhaps?

Rocky: You're determined to help me aren't you?

TTL: Rocky, you had it once before and it was gone almost as soon as it came. I thought I had it, but it wasn't to be. This may be the real thing. I can't let you let this go.

Rocky: <Hugs Tim and then pats Hyvvie> I have the best friends in explored space. Now when does Lardy get here?

TTL: Can't help you there. I can tell you the past and present. The future's not here yet.

***incoming message to Rocky***

Got some important business with Des before our date. I'll be a little late, Eudyptes, but I'll be there! Promise!!!

***end meesage***

<walks in with flowers>

Hey! Sorry, I'm late, Rocky--that meeting with Des went longer than expected!

<hands Rocky flowers>

I've...no idea if you like flowers or not, but I know it's kinda customary, so--

<looks around>

Wow--everything looks great!

<struggles, wondering if sharing his knowledge of Adelie's whereabouts might break the mood of their first date>

Er...what's for dinner?

Lardy, they're lovely. Thank you. <sniffs; gives Lardy a little kiss>

I hope sushi is all right. It's my favourite Earth dish. And plenty of sake, too, of course.

Lardy? You look awfully tense. Here let me...<He begins rubbing Lardy's shoulders> You are tense. Relax, sweetie. I'm sure whatever it was you and Cobie were discussed was upsetting, but you're here now. With me. <Holds him close>

...mmmmmm...nice...

<closes eyes while Rocky continues massaging>

...I'll pass on the sake, if ya don't mind, sweetie...alcohol and me...well, I need to stay away from that...but I'm looking forward to discovering the world of sushi with you!

<mulls the thing on his mind>

Rocky...let's say...hypothetically...that I had something to tell you that you'd really want to hear very badly--but it would probably take you out of the moment...hypothetically, would you want to hear that something right now, or wait 'til later...hypothetically...?

Don't tell me... it's sweeps week on Legion World.

Well, first, there's green tea if you'd rather not have sake.

<Continues massaging Lardy>

And--hypothetically--if it was something important that I would want to know about then you would make a judgement call and take my feelings into account, confident that I love you very much and would continue to do so no matter what you decided. <Gives Lardy a little kiss on the ear>. Hypothetically, that is.

So <Holds Lardy very close and whispers in his ear; Rocky's voice suddenly becomes very serious>, what is it?

<turns around and faces him>

After Dru died, I...spent some time in the Dark Oval. I used Kalla Hrykos to gain access to a lot of its secrets...

<pauses>

...you have to understand I've only been able to re-access these memories the last few days...

<continues, bows head>

...anyhow, well, the whole thing was pretty shady, and I'm not proud of it...

<makes eye contact again>

...but the point is, well, I know you've been really worried about Adelie, and...I remember seeing her, Rocky. Adelie was right in the heart of the Dark Oval. I think she was there with some others undercover--and, as far as I know, she's probably still there. This was...several months ago, Rocky.

You...still haven't heard any word, have you?

<Rocky shakes his head>

Okay.
<Silence>
No, I haven't heard anything, really, since she left.
<Silence>
Thank you for telling me that, sweetie. At least now I know where she might be.

And maybe we can find her and help her. I hope so.

On the other hand, there's probably not much we can do about it tonight.

<Starts massaging Lardy again>.

<stands up, hugs him>

Rocky, you have my promise that I'll do everything I can as LMB leader to bring her back to you...

<kisses him>

<'ports in from the Lair>

Rocky? Babe, you here? I really need to talk to you about something!

Hey, Lardy. Sorry for all the clutter. We're preparing the Rookery for a state visit; that is, my mother, the Empress Maryss is coming. What's up?

<embraces him>

It's great to see you again....anyhow, I don't know if you've been keeping up with this Zardi business, but--I've felt this connection with Ghost Girl and with Zardi somehow. I'm not sure you believe in this kind of thing, but I've begun to suspect I knew them in a past life. So I went to the expert on such matters.....

<tells him about the mushroom he got from Mayavale and all about the dreamwalk he just experienced at the Lair>

Anyhow, more and more, I'm feeling how huge a threat Zardi might be and how accessing this past life of mine might be useful to defeating him. I was thinking about having one of the mystics, well, bring him out.

What do you think, Rocky?

<Rocky sits and scratches his head.>

Pyngwynyy don't believe in reincarnation as a general rule, but we certainly do believe in magic <his fingers crackle with ice magic>, which regularly shows us things that don't make a lot of sense otherwise. It's certainly worth investigating. It's beyond my powers, of course. Which of our magi were going to ask? Maxx? Stu? Pagan Lass?

Well, Maxx and Stu haven't been around lately, so probably Luna, if she can do that sort of thing.

<looks Rocky in the eyes>

The point is that if I do this, I won't exactly be me for a while. Do you understand the implications, here?

I mean, trust me, I won't do it if I can't be assured that I can be brought back. But, well, in any case I won't be here with you for an extended period. I won't know you, you know?

<Rocky nods.>

I understand. You have to do the right thing, and this is the right thing for you. I knew when I signed on that this wouldn't be an easy ride.

<Rocky puts his arms around Lardy and places a small kiss on his lips.>

I love you very much, Lardy. If nothing else, you must know by now that I'm very patient. I'll still be here.

That's what I needed to hear, babe...

<kisses him back and strongly>

Just know, this guy I was, he was a really good guy. I could feel his goodness when I touched his life. I...I was envious.

<bows his head slightly in shame>

His...was the only life I touched of mine that wasn't...tainted...by evil.

Lardy, remember, we've all done things we regret. Yes, even me! Two other things we Pyngwynyy do believe very strongly in are forgiveness and reconciliation.

<Puts his hand on Lardy's chin>
You're a good man, Lardy. Don't forget that.

Yeah, I know. It's good to have you here to remind me every once in awhile. However, it sounds like you've a story you haven't told me. Remind me to ask you about it...later....

<turns out lights>

<much later, the two lie in bed spooning, Rocky being asleep>

<Lardy lies there awake, sleeplessly thinking> I'm taking a huge risk here. I've a feeling I will be testing Rocky's understanding to the limits doing what I feel I must do. There's no telling what this persona will do while he's in control. I know I can trust in his goodness, but I know he may be drawn to Ghost Girl if I'm right. If Luna can help me, I've gotta make sure there's a safety net in place, so I can resume control as soon as possible...

<embraces Rocky's sleeping form and tries to go to sleep>

<tomorrow, Lardy knows, will be a step into the unknown>

<whispers> <span style="font-size: 9px;">I love you, Rocky...</span>

(unseen, an intangible hand mimics a caress. Neither living occupant of the room sees or hears their visitor)

Sleep well, Lard Lad. May you have the strength to walk the path you seek to commence.

<wakes up, dresses, checks missed calls on communicator>

Well, I guess the honeymoon's over, so to speak...

<looks at Rocky's sleeping form>

I hope you don't come to regret your support of me. I'll do everything in my power t prevent that.

<kisses Rocky's cheek> I love you so much.

<'ports to Security Office>

And as we turn the corner on another year, we commence the celebrating at the Rookery. Pop in as you have time for festive food and beverage, as always, supplied by the Rookery's comely and scantily-clad waitstaff.

The party continues through Twelfth Night and the Birthday of Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle, so we bid you all welcome.

{Raises a glass of champagne}
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and the best year ever in 3010!

I could use a glass. Its been a hectic few weeks and all the stress has been piling on just in time for Christmas (and not Christmas related stress).

So here's to good friends and being able to relax.

Are people still spooning? I'm not attending any party where people are spooning. Forking neither.

Drinking in moderation is okay.

I'll drink to that! and that! and that!

The spooning was over months ago, BB. Please, eat, drink and be merry.

Vanessa, Deirdre, Zach, please see to Mssrs. Cobalt, Blockade and Mattropolis.

Wheeee! Party party party!

Am I fashionably late to the festivities?

You are fashionably fashionable, Stealth.

I feel like swinging from the chandelier. (The odd part is, I haven't had anything to drink yet.)

This old thing? I got it from the charity shop. But thank you.

Start swinging, Huey, while the jukebox plays "Mickey's Monkey."

Vanessa just asked me to spoon and Deirdre with her lovely irish accent, asked me if I wanted to fork.

Just to be sociable but NEXT YEAR, I expect better behavior from these two.

Someone pass me a double please. I think I'm going to be ashamed of myself.

Here you go, BB.

[Offers BB Doublemint chewing gum.]





Woooo! I'm still in control of the jukebox. It's hair metal time!

"LOVE ME LIKE A BOMB, BABY, COME AND GET IT ON..."

I'll wait for "Shock the Monkey" by Peter Gabriel.

Okay, but first we have to hear my favorite Peter Gabriel song, "Solsbury Hill."

I just youtubed Solisbury Hill --I had heard it before but had no idea what it was called. Good song.

Stealth, HWW, so glad you could both make it.

Luke, Cindy, please fetch a libation for Ms. Stealth and Mr. Wanders.

Hey gang! I brought fish!

Hey all, happy holidays

CJ! It's always a pleasure! And Deddy! I'm so glad to see you!

Daniel, please see to Mr Taylor's beverage choice. Amanda, please get something for Mr Dedman to drink.

Luke's cute, but I'm looking to get lucky with Deirdre, especially after BB rejected her.

Huey, glad I could help you put a name to a song you like.

Oh, good, the karaoke machine's finally here. Let the flood of cheeseball pop classics begin. I'll kick things off with this bit of ear-candy from Sheena:

"Wake up every morning
Stumble out of bed
Stretching and a-yawning
Another day ahead..."

And since you mentioned Sweet on your thread, I'm gearing up the karaoke machine for this song .

I love the Sweet. My computer's too slow for YouTube, so could you please tell me which Sweet song you chose?

"Love is Like Oxygen."

Great choice! Ahh, Brian Connolly's swan song with the band. Reportedly, Connolly was very proud of the high notes he was able to hit on "Love is Like Oxygen", because his voice had been damaged a couple years earlier, after a blow to the throat during a brawl (not, I emphasize, with any of his bandmates.)

You know your Sweet, Stealth.

I have a personal interest in the band as one of the first records I ever owned was "Little Willy." Two years later, Sweet had two more irresistable hits with "Ballroom Blitz" and "Fox On the Run." In spite of the success of those records, little information about Sweet was available in the U.S. (or at least in my midwestern section of it). They seemed to appear every couple of years with another smash hit, then disappear for awhile. After "Oxygen" in 1978, they disappeared for good. (Thanks to rock encyclopedias, I was eventually able to learn their story.)

Getting to watch their old videos on YouTube is like seeing the half of my childhood that I missed.

(Stealth hears He Who Wanders say her name, then stumbles out of the guest bedroom, accompanied close behind by Deirdre. Both look very happy.)

Hm? Oh, the Sweet. Yeah.

My favorite Sweet single is "Blockbuster."

My favorite Sweet album track is "Set Me Free."

Let's put "Blockbuster" on the karaoke machine.

"DOES ANYONE KNOW THE WAY?
DID WE HEAR SOMEONE SAY...?
WEEEEE JUST HAAAVEN'T GOT A CLUUUUE WHAT TO DOOOOOOO!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE WAY?
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY...
...TO BLOCKBUSTEEEEEEEER"

Gee, if you've been in the bedroom all this time, who was that I was talking to?!

Well, if you wanted to swing from the chandelier without being drunk, you could conceivably see someone who isn't there without being drunk.

And speaking of chandeliers, it's time for me to do my impression of Scarlett Johansson's character from Saturday Night Live, who helps her parents advertise their chandelier business.

"LOOKIT AWL DESE CHANDELEAHS! LOOKIT DIS ONE! AN' DAT ONE! AN' DIS ONE! AN' DAT ONE!"

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all twelve days.

Darned hallucinations! I need a drink.

Sounds like you do, too.

It'd have to be non-alcoholic. My meds and alcohol don't mix.

Oh.

Why, thank you, Deirdre.

Cheers, Huey.

Cheers, Stealth.

(Sips)

This is such a great party. And it's just getting started. Just think, ten more days to go.

Fourteen , but who's counting?

Fourteen is better.

Who's the band?

The more the merrier!

[draws herself a hot buttered rum and pets a certain beagle, who looks very fetching in his snowman sweater]

I brought chocolate peanut-butter chip cookies. Dig in, Folks. The co-op had a sale on the chips, so I made plenty.